Craigslist Used Bicycle Transaction Translator

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"I got this from a friend who was fourth in the nation as a criterium racer at the time.  It's a collector's item"

Translation: I don't really know much about it, but I want a bunch of money for it.

"Can we go look at it?"

Translation: I don't care if it belonged to the pope.  I know what it is, and I have a good idea of the current market here.

"I researched these, and I saw one for $1600 on Craigslist nationally.  I've had some offers, but I know what it's worth."

Translation: I don't really know much about it, but I want a bunch of money for it.

"Sure, well, give me a minute to do some measuring"

Translation: It looks a little small for a 59.

"I did some criterium racing on it.  Have you ever done that?"

Translation: I don't really know much about it, but I want a bunch of money for it.

"Your ad stated a 59cm seat tube, but my tape here says 22 and a half inches, center to center."

Translation: Are you fucking kidding me ?  I just wasted an hour getting here, and the bike is useless to me. 

"It's been hanging in the garage for 35 years.  I just bought a new bike here, at Performance Bikes, so I thought someone else ought to get some use out of it."

Translation:  I never rode it all that much, and everyone i know, including me, thinks CF bikes are better.  But i still want to sell it for more money than it's worth.

"Sure, well it's a very fine bike.  But the wrong size for me, so that's that."

Translation: I'm going now.

"It's got Gatorskin tyres on it, and they are pretty new and virtually unridden."

Translation: It's fall, it's raining, and it looks like nobody wants to pay 900 bucks for my 600 dollar bike.

"It's a very fine bike. Ron cooper made some very good bikes. I'm certain someone will buy it."

Translation:  I really am going now.  maybe if you knew how to use a fucking tape measure you'd have better luck.  You really ought to have a keeper.