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Surviving Whole Foods


Mr. Silly
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Surviving Whole Foods

 

FTA:  I move on to the next aisle and ask the nearest Whole Foods clerk for help. He's wearing a visor inside and as if that weren't douchey enough, it has one word on it in all caps. Yup, NAMASTE. I ask him where I can find whole wheat bread. He chuckles at me "Oh, we keep the poison in aisle 7." Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go f--- yourself."

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  • 2 weeks later...

"The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha -- 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for 'I gizzed in your tea.' Anyone who's ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I'm talking about. I believe this thing is called "The Mother," which makes it that much creepier."

 

 

LOL

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I've never been to a Whole Foods, but I am pretty sure I am already banned from entering the store.

I've been in WF, Earth Fare and some local type store and it must be part of the job description to be a pompous ass to work at those stores.  Earth Fare sells some solid beers though and it's kind of funny every time I've purchased beer from them, I get dirty looks from the cashiers and other shoppers.  I don't get it, but hey, if you're gonna sell the beer, people like me are gonna buy the beer, so Francis needs to lighten up a bit.  That said, I'd still rather go to the local farmers markets and buy fresher organic food at 1/2 the cost, but, WTF do I know.

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you city slickers crack me up

 

suburbanites parking their cars on a big patch of asphalt and going into an air conditioned building that can actually take plastic money to try and buy real food?

 

Its a sad day in America

 

out here in the sticks, we go out to the lake and catch something or go out to the woods and shoot something, doesn't get more organic than that. The critter lives in the woods and eats acorns for a living.

 

God's Grocery Store ...open daylight hours Monday- Saturday in PA.

 

It's self service, so you got to do your own bagging, but at least there's no yoga hippies

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But, some of them are hot.

  nothing wrong with hot chicks bending over and stretching. You don't have to perceived it as being yoga if the same move could be performed, or improved upon, with a stripper pole

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But, some of them are hot.

No amount of hotness is worth that much of a headache.

 

Actually had one want to buy beef off of me (yes actual fresh cow), but based on how the conversation went leading up to that point (pointless and informed GMO ranting) I told them I wouldn't sell if they paid me double the current going rate.  So not worth the hassle.

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