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Grossest Thing You Ate That Wasn't Food?


ChrisL
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You guys ever eat anything nasty (and get your heads out of the gutter) that wasn't food?  I set myself up for failure while in the Army.  One day we were out in the field, it was hot, everyone was tired and down and I saw this big hairy Caterpillar looking thing crawling on the ground so I grabbed it and ate it.  It fired up the platoon but good but then I developed a reputation.... Hey Sarge, look what we caught you!  I then got wise and started taking offers on things I'd eat.  Somebody would catch a big ole hairy bug and take up a collection.  I'd then eat the freaking thing.  I drew the line with worms and any reptiles or mammals but I put down a fair number of bugs for money.  The worst one I remember was one of those big ass lunar moths.  All the chalk from the wings bout made me gag & puke but I got it down! 

I also remember one time on a particular night out with the guys I had too much to drink and threw up in the toilet in my barrack room.  As I'm pulling myself up from the toilet but before I flushed it I saw a couple of cigarette butts in the toilet?!?!?  Now we weren't drinking in my room, neither my room mate nor I smoked so I'm guessing I ate a couple of cig butts?!?!?   

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When I was a kid we were sliding in our neighbors driveway one night. They had a long steep drive. Walking back up I got a bit thirsty, reached down and grabbed a mitten full of snow. Apparently the dog had dropped a deuce in that exact spot cause I got a mouthful of poo?

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Can't say I ate it but almost! I had an ice cream cone one night from Thrifty's (pharmacy). Rocky Road when I fetl an almond fall off and onto my shirt. I picked it and put it in my mouth, Wasn't an almond at tall. It was one of those hard orange bugs that hangs around the lights. I've heard them called ear bugs. I put it on my tongue and felt it moving around. Thank God I didn't bite it! :facepalm:

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4 minutes ago, Road Runner said:

I ate cooked collard greens when I was a kid.  It was extremely gross and stunk the whole house up.  I'm pretty sure that stuff isn't food.   :(

OK grossest thing I almost ate that was food.... In the Army they were serving chitlins in the mess hall.  I knew what it was and wasn't afraid to try it so I told the guy to serve it to me.  He said, OK but if you don't like it just bring your plate back.   I took my plate, sat down and got the fork about 3" from my nose and said nope.  I aint eating anything that smells like manure.  I took my plate back and the cook was laughing his ass off.  Yeah I didn't think you would eat that.  

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31 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Yeah but it aint gross, it actually tasted OK!  Same with that paste we used to use in Kindergarten. Yum... 

My momma didn't raise no fools (well maybe my brother but that's another story).  I don't ever remember being even slightly interest in eating glue or paste.  My mom made enough inedible food at home.  I didn't need any help there. 

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Nylon.

No, not really, but I had the FNG at work believing I did.

He was machining nylon and had chips all over his machine. It just so happened that the coconut strips in my trail mix looked exactly the same. When his back was turned, I set a piece on his machine. When he went back to work, I casually walked by, picked it up and ate it.

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2 minutes ago, Further said:

Stinkbug in mashed potatoes, sucker must have landed in there when I wasn't looking. I didn't swallow.  

This reminded me of something that happened to a friend at school when we were kids.  We were all sitting at an outside table eating lunch and my buddy Jim Ingram got a hot dog, he unwraps it, puts the ketchup on it and then as he's about to take a bite he stops, turns his head to say something to one of us.  As he's holding his hot dog up near his head a big ole sea gull turd lands perfectly on his hot dog and it freaking looks like it dispensed black & white relish!  He then turns to take a bite not realizing what happened and me and another kid stop him from eating it.  He thought for a minute one of us doctored his hot dog when he turned his head but we couldn't have done it that quickly, it was like 5 seconds from the time he turned his head, the turd landed on it and then he went to take a bite. 

The turd landed just perfectly too.  Right along the length of the dog like he spooned bird turd relish on it.  It didn't hit his hand or anything all dog. 

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1 hour ago, Brain Dead said:

I know from seeing the apple after taking a big bite that I have eaten more than one half worm.  

Stanley took a pickle, cut it in half and asked his ex if she wanted half. She said "sure", so he gave her half and left the room, with his half. He poked a hole in his half of the pickle and shoved in one of those mousee grubs they use for ice fishing. He walked back out and said "Ewwww. Look what was in mine!"

After she'd eaten her half.

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Technically the OP said something that's not food, bugs are food and part of the food chain for something. 

I have eaten a lot of grose things like durian fruit, bugs, monkey brain, goat, cat, and so on... I did a lot of traveling in life and for work and love checking out other countries cultural foods. The worst would have to have been the durian fruit. Kind of made bugs a delicious meal.

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Grossest thing I ate that isn't normally considered food was a bite full of maggots. I bought some expired granola bars from the scratch and dent food store call "Tin Can Pams" near my old shop. Bought them for years and everything was fine before. Took a bite, chewed and noticed a tangy flavor, looked down to see the bar had a bunch of white wiggles!

Never ate a granola bar again.

 

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