Get a tan...!

[Dirtyhip]

...and other similar rude remarks like that are beginning to return.

It's warming up here.  That means that shorts are back in season.  

I am a white girl. I'm a combo of German, Welsh and Irish.  This means that I don't tan really well.  I can get a light tan, if I spend countless hours ramping up in the tanning bed, and then maintaining it in the direct sun at careful intervals.  I could also spray tan my skin with a concoction of toxic chemicals and dyes.  However, this is not worth it, IMHO.  

To make matters more troubling, I wear body armor when I ride.  Usually, my knees, shins and elbows are covered up.  Yes, I am fair skinned. Sometimes, before a tropical trip, I might prep the skin in a booth, just to avoid a terrible sunburn, thus ruining an expensive trip.

So, when I bust out the skin, it is very light in tone.  People are so rude.  I was at a pool last year and someone had the nerve to say "WOW, you need some color."  I said "No.  You need to be less offensive.  This is my genetics and I am NOT ashamed."   She was surprised at my retort, but I am not taking this shit anymore.

Why do people think it is OK to insult my skin tone?  I don't hear people saying to others "WOW.  You are SO ethnic.  Your skin is too dark."

Help me come up with witty replies to these asshole "Get a tan." comments.

[Square Wheels]

[az_cyclist]

pretty rude of them to say that to you.  a bit of color looks great, but they say almost any skin tan is bad for you skin.  

[Dirtyhip]

I think my natural tone looks great. I am beautiful without a tan.

[Dirtyhip]

10 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

I have a lot of retorts for this post, but I'm gonna take the high road. I choose not to make you cry.

[Chris...]

When I cycled in England people would shout "get off and milk it" at you. 

[Square Wheels]

15 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

I have a lot of retorts for this post, but I'm gonna take the high road. I choose not to make you cry.

My wife read it, it's supposed to be good.  She suggested I read it, I might.  My wife is smart, I usually don't regret doing things she suggests.

And yes, you seem to be surrounded by a lot of rude people.

[Randomguy]

White chicks, geez.  

[jsharr ★]

I am fat and balding.  I embrace it.  People tell me I am fat, I tell them they are ugly and I can lose weight.

[groupw]

I have 2 daughters. 1 fair-skinned like my wife, the other tans easily like me. Guess which one preferred the Goth look as a kid? Tan girl! 

Some sun-worshippers take it too far. One of my clients is fairly attractive for a 65 year old woman. Trouble is she is actually 55!  All that sun has weathered her badly. 

I also have Latina friends who wished they didn't always look "ethnic". Some shop owners treat them quite differently once they know they were born here and speak perfect English!

Just don't let the rude people get under your skin. Because, you know... with that fair skin, it will just show through anyway!  **runs away covering his head!**

[Randomguy]

I don't tan much at all, being pasty irish and such.  Albino is a look, right?

[jsharr ★]

 

 

[smudge ★]

I actually love the retort you had, DH!!  Ha!!  I don't tan well either; I call it "Finlander White."  Then again I am in the Yoop, and that skin color is the norm. whew!

I have to say I DO prefer me at a hearty beige, which is as dark as I can get. But it takes a lot of work and is probably not good for me.

In fact around here is someone is really tan, we say that's gross just because it doesn't look natural to the Yoop.  Ha!

[Dirtyhip]

If you got a tan, you would look healthier.

 

[Dirtyhip]

Whoa! You are so white that I need sunglasses.

[Dirtyhip]

You must spend too much time inside.

[Dirtyhip]

You aren't very tan. You must not have had a good Summer. 

[Longjohn ★]

Get a tan, your dermatologist needs a new boat.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

I'm of Irish descent and pale skin with freckles are the norm. I can acquire a healthy look but I have to watch it as I'm predisposed to melanoma. If anyone gets on my case for paleness I tell them that my sister was a sun worshiper and developed melanoma. The drug she took to fight the cancer caused a blood clot which wound up killing her. I use SPF50 every day.

[Square Wheels]

When I worked in carpentry we were outside most of the time.  I was always sad when I thought I had a great tan, only to see it wash down the drain as I showered.

[Wilbur ★]

1 hour ago, Dirtyhip said:

You are SO ethnic.  Your skin is too dark."

Actually, after a summer of riding or multiple warm weather trips, my wife does say that to me!   

[jsharr ★]

Tell them as soon as sunlight can keep up with you you will stop and tan

[Dirtyhip]

1 minute ago, Randomjsharrguy said:

Tell them as soon as sunlight can keep up with you you will stop and tan

Oh damn, I like this one.  

Keep 'em coming.

[ChrisL]

My wife is fair skinned and gets really self conscious of her riding tans.  Her shorts and blouses are generally shorter than her kit which leaves a mid thigh and arm tan lines she hates.  She especially hates it when people point out her muscular legs (more ripped than bulky).

I feel ya DH and think you have every right to fire back.  Nobody ever says to me, wow you are so brown.... Actually any comment  made in a derrogatory fashion on anyone's appearance, especially for things we cant really control is uncalled for.  Sorta like kids making fun of freckled faced red heads....

[petitepedal ★]

Personally I think I get whiter the more I am outside...I do not tan and took a hazing from a gal a few years younger than me..with native American and Italian in her family  background. I would tell her I am  tan...lol we were in the sauna..and she went out laughing to her parents..that I really did have a tan....

After I went to red tones in my hair color..people started saying..gee with red hair you probably need to stay out of the sun. . Who cares what people think..F them

[Road Runner]

If you are very fair-skinned, you should probably avoid the sun as much as possible.  What people say is irrelevant.

[Dirtyhip]

I like to be Snow White, but comments like these make me go all Evil Queen.

[Dirtyhip]

6 minutes ago, petitepedal said:

Personally I think I get whiter the more I am outside...I do not tan and took a hazing from a gal a few years younger than me..with native American and Italian in her family  background. I would tell her I am  tan...lol we were in the sauna..and she went out laughing to her parents..that I really did have a tan....

After I went to red tones in my hair color..people started saying..gee with red hair you probably need to stay out of the sun. . Who cares what people think..F them

My husband says that I don't really get tan, but that my freckles become more prevalent making me seem much darker.

Most likely true.

[Wilbur ★]

 I can't believe people would comment.  Incredibly inappropriate and rude.  The good news is, you will wrinkle far less, look a lot younger and probably have a much lower chance of skin issues.  My wife is very fair and protects her skin.  She looks 15 years younger than my sun worshiping SIL. 

[Wilbur ★]

Get a tan...!

3 words you will never hear a dermatologist say.   

[Road Runner]

People always told me I looked much better with a tan.  So I spent most of my adult life chasing the "perfect tan".  It did look nice at the time, but I would lose it in the winter and have to start all over in the spring.  I was obsessed with it at times (when I was trying to attract the wimminz).

Three years ago, I came down with skin cancer, most likely the result of my former devotion to the sun.  Melanoma, too; the worst kind.  No more sun for me.  That is why I always ride in the evenings just before dark, to avoid the sun.

[Further]

My hair fell out years ago, I'd see guys with the tanned, bald head and think, that's a good look. So I went for it, burned the shit out of my scalp, never did tan. Now I have scaly itchy crap on my head that the dermo guy tells me is pre cancer and caused by the sun, 15 or 20 years ago.

Now I aim to come back from the beach the same color that I arrived.

I'm short, fat, bald, and old, it'd take one hell of a tan to hide all that.   

[jsharr ★]

Those that can, do.

Those that can't lay around and tan.

[maddmaxx ★]

I am part German.  That's the part that seems to have control over my skin color.  It certainly isn't the Sicilian part.  Much of my riding is done in the wood on trails where there is a lot of shade and shadow so unlike rhodies I don't get much tan from riding.  I am also a skin cancer survivor so I don't look to get a tan in any other manner.

When I met womaxx she thought I was so dark I might have been ethnic but that was from the years of standing in the middle of asphalt fields watching race cars while I waited to drive.  Ultimately that Virginia tan cost me a nice little scar on my face and a couple of uncomfortable weeks with my upper lip stitched back together after a pie slice was removed from it.

I will quite by accident get enough of a tan by the end of the summer that my wrist watch line will show.  That's it, that's all.  If I get a sunburn I usually get pissed at myself.

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

"Get melanoma!"

[Ralphie ★]

2 hours ago, Wilbur said:

Get a tan...!

3 words you will never hear a dermatologist say.   

Not even if they need a new boat?

[Ralphie ★]

1 hour ago, Further said:

My hair fell out years ago, I'd see guys with the tanned, bald head and think, that's a good look. So I went for it, burned the shit out of my scalp, never did tan. Now I have scaly itchy crap on my head that the dermo guy tells me is pre cancer and caused by the sun, 15 or 20 years ago.

Now I aim to come back from the beach the same color that I arrived.

I'm short, fat, bald, and old, it'd take one hell of a tan to hide all that.   

You gotta look better than Danny DeVito.

[Prophet Zacharia]

If it's not one rude thing, it's another that people will say to you. I was in Aruba for two weeks this spring, and I tan fairly well. The comments I endured upon return to my office were endless. Not really mal-intended, but I am not going to talk about my skin pigment with coworkers.

[Further]

1 hour ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

You gotta look better than Danny DeVito.

Danny's looks don't matter, he's got other things going for him

[Ralphie ★]

13 minutes ago, Further said:

Danny's looks don't matter, he's got other things going for him

That hair!  Egads! 

Of course in this pic he is starting to look like Isaac Asimov.

 

 

[Further]

6 minutes ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

That hair!  Egads! 

Of course in this pic he is starting to look like Isaac Asimov.

 

 

Gettin that Yoda thing going, wisdom trumps looks

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

6 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

 I said "No.  You need to be less offensive.  This is my genetics and I am NOT ashamed."

I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better reply.  It's like dropping the Acme anvil on Wile E. Coyote. 

[jdc2000]

Potential rude and snappy comebacks:

"Those tanning sprays are waaay to expensive, and they don't look all that good."

"You need to hit the gym and build up some muscles."

 

[MickinMD ★]

7 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

...and other similar rude remarks like that are beginning to return.

It's warming up here.  That means that shorts are back in season.  

I am a white girl. I'm a combo of German, Welsh and Irish.  This means that I don't tan really well.  I can get a light tan, if I spend countless hours ramping up in the tanning bed, and then maintaining it in the direct sun at careful intervals.  I could also spray tan my skin with a concoction of toxic chemicals and dyes.  However, this is not worth it, IMHO.  

To make matters more troubling, I wear body armor when I ride.  Usually, my knees, shins and elbows are covered up.  Yes, I am fair skinned. Sometimes, before a tropical trip, I might prep the skin in a booth, just to avoid a terrible sunburn, thus ruining an expensive trip.

So, when I bust out the skin, it is very light in tone.  People are so rude.  I was at a pool last year and someone had the nerve to say "WOW, you need some color."  I said "No.  You need to be less offensive.  This is my genetics and I am NOT ashamed."   She was surprised at my retort, but I am not taking this shit anymore.

Why do people think it is OK to insult my skin tone?  I don't hear people saying to others "WOW.  You are SO ethnic.  Your skin is too dark."

Help me come up with witty replies to these asshole "Get a tan." comments.

I'm Irish, German, and Polish and don't tan well in general either - I need to get a head-start with a little sun every day or, as happened after one long day in the sun at Ocean City, Maryland, my friends start calling me "Beet."  When I played high school spring sports my last two years of high school and when I coached them in the '80's and '90's, practice began in March and by the time May was done I already had a pretty good tan on my face, arms, and legs.

Those areas seem to be conditioned now, but my back near my shoulders and chest still burn easily.  I need to start going shirtless 1/2 hour of so per day to get ready for my Caribbean Cruise in August.

[Randomguy]

I honestly like the way I feel when I get as tan as I generally get.  Finally, I get some vitamin D that way and feel good.  Last summer I got out for about half an hour in the heat of the day.  I worked up gradually, it was nice.

[LoneWolf]

8 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

Help me come up with witty replies to these asshole "Get a tan." comments.

Enjoy your malignant melanomic future.

You know, in Europe and the Philippines, pale skin is craved. (True story:  in the Philippines, you can buy skin bleaching creams.  They want to be pale like us).

I'd rather stay off the grill than find myself medium rare.

***

I'm pale.  Personally, I could shiv a git what others think.  So I'm the ivory to someone else's ebony --so what?

[Ralphie ★]

The sunlight not being able to keep up thing is so you.

It will make them stop and think.

 

 

[maddmaxx ★]

DH, faster than speeding sunlight.

[Longjohn ★]

12 hours ago, Further said:

. Now I have scaly itchy crap on my head that the dermo guy tells me is pre cancer and caused by the sun, 15 or 20 years ago.

Have I got a cure for you. One comes in a small tube and you spread it on your Actinic  keratosis once a day for two weeks. The retail price for this cure is $1,600 a tube if you don't have insurance  it's called Carac I  think. The other stuff comes in a tiny pump bottle and is only $1,200. It's called Zyclara. I'm finishing my two week course of treatment tomorrow. After a couple years the condition returns and you get to do it all over again. If you don't treat it it turns into Squamous Cell Carcinoma . They treat that with a scapel.

[Dirtyhip]

12 hours ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better reply.  It's like dropping the Acme anvil on Wile E. Coyote. 

In all honesty, I was ready for her. This wasn't our first rodeo with comments about my skin with her. We spent some time together I gyms and she made plenty of comments of a critical  nature. 

Luckily, I didn't say "the jerk store called..."