Your condition is chronic

[Further]

You can take a treatment that will extend your life, but you will be miserable for a month or two. It won't improve your condition, just make you more miserable for a while, and then let you live longer at your 'normal' misery level, which is pretty damn high.

So, do you take it ?

[Longjohn ★]

I'd get a second opinion.

[Wilbur ★]

Depends how miserable I was feeling to begin with.  

[2Far ★]

1 hour ago, Longjohn said:

I'd get a second opinion.

Yer ugly, too. 

[Further]

There have been many opinions, many false hopes. She is pretty damn miserable. 

She wants to take a vacation this summer, taking the treatment would totally ruin the trip. She's going to go with the 'normal' level of pain, and make the trip. Try the treatment in the fall.

There have been so many wrong guesses that betting on this one is a long shot. She doesn't have a lot of time, and would like to get at least more family vacation in. Miserable be damned 

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

1 hour ago, Further said:

So, do you take it ?

I would.

'Misery' - like 'joy' - is a condition determined by the person who allows himself to experience it.

[Square Wheels]

I think deciding quality vs quantity is a very hard and personal choice.  I'm not sure what I would do, probably quality. 

[Airehead]

I am thinking of you both-- tough times.  PS- I would not take it.

[Road Runner]

Hope all works out for the best.  Lots of variables.   My opinion or what I would do doesn't mean anything.

[sheep_herder ★]

Sorry to hear about your situation.  We'll keep you both in our thoughts and  prayers.  I am 'old' so that may affect my answer, but I would not take the treatment.  I also decided a long time ago, that I would not take chemo or radiation if prescribed.  I shocked one surgeon with that comment last year, when I was having a bit of a problem.  Luckily for me, I just had a bad stomach infection. Hope you have safe travels.

[Kirby]

It honestly depends on so many factors, and i certainly wouldn't second guess the decision anyone else made.  For me, it would probably depend on how much extra time the treatment would give and how much I was still able to enjoy other things despite the pain.

Prayers and good thoughts to you and your loved one.

[late]

There are some strains of pot that are quite good with pain. Helped me a lot when I was being treated for cancer.

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

"Chronic, you say?"

[Wilbur ★]

18 hours ago, Further said:

There have been many opinions, many false hopes. She is pretty damn miserable. 

She wants to take a vacation this summer, taking the treatment would totally ruin the trip. She's going to go with the 'normal' level of pain, and make the trip. Try the treatment in the fall.

There have been so many wrong guesses that betting on this one is a long shot. She doesn't have a lot of time, and would like to get at least more family vacation in. Miserable be damned 

I am guessing WoFurther?  Yeah, I would take the vacation and do my best to cope with the conditions.  Meds can wait. 

[late]

20 hours ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said:

"Chronic, you say?"

 

There is a Med forum at autoflower.net. You need permission to enter, but all you have to do is ask. There you will find people dealing with massive chronic pain. I found them to be very helpful. If anyone wants me to talk about it, let me know.

 

https://www.autoflower.net/forums/

[MickinMD ★]

On 6/16/2017 at 7:37 PM, Further said:

You can take a treatment that will extend your life, but you will be miserable for a month or two. It won't improve your condition, just make you more miserable for a while, and then let you live longer at your 'normal' misery level, which is pretty damn high.

So, do you take it ?

This was a question that was debated in 2003 among my mother, dying with stage-3 lung cancer, my sister, a cancer-research nurse at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and my brother and I. Johns Hopkins, perhaps the #1 cancer research hospital in the world, pronounced that my mother only had several months to live: no chance of a cure. A doctor that had worked with my sister in the past and who was hired to an excellent position at another local hospital in the area and had a big research grant, heard through the grapevine my sister's mother had lung cancer and offered to sneak her into a promising drug trial. 

It worked to make her remaining months relatively enjoyable - she was still getting chemo and that left her weak and hurting - but she was able to watch her 2 year-old grandson for 8-10 hours/day, several days/week, up to 2 months before she passed away.

But, finally, the time came when she began to have hallucinations, which indicated the cancer cells were spreading through her body. She recognized they were hallucinations and they didn't cause any real problem - typically she would see a young blonde woman with two small, blonde kids - a boy and a girl. They would disappear in a flash if mom tried to touch them.  There was more severe chemotherapy available and some other meds to try, but they would involve living in pain and not a great prolongation of life.  After we talked about it, Mom said she wanted the doctor to give her a "Do Not Resuscitate" order that would be presented to any hospital she might enter in an emergency. She and her doctor agreed she could stop chemo. She didn't want to live miserably.

In the first week of June, 2003, I drove her several hours to Williamsburg, VA, where we enjoyed the Colonial stuff and attended my cousin's wedding, at which she danced. On June 26, we celebrated her birthday and she liked the lasagna we had so much she had two large platefuls - for which she walked into the kitchen and served herself. Two days later, on June 28, she began to quickly go downhill, barely recognizing anyone or speaking much and then passing away on June 30.

THAT is how I want to go. Live if it's tolerable pain but then let me go before it gets bad.  In contrast my father, in 1992, kept going farther downhill for month after month with cancer plus kidney/liver partial failure, would have periods of remission, then go downhill again. His last words were, "I think it's time to check out."  And after all that pain and time, he said it as a positive thing. I don't want to hang on like that.

[Square Wheels]

Read (or as I did. listen to) Being Mortal.  It was good and helps with decisions such as these.

[jsharr ★]

There are probably no words that I could share that would help in a situation such as this.

I would take quality of life over quantity of life.  You and your wife know best how she can deal with adversity.

What ever decision you make that my heart hurts along with yours and that I will keep you in my prayers.

[Ralphie ★]

11 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

Read (or as I did. listen to) Being Mortal.  It was good and helps with decisions such as these.

Atul Gawande is an excellent author.  

 

[Square Wheels]

1 minute ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

Atul Gawande is an excellent author.  

He works at my hospital, I'll see if he wants to do lunch next week.

[Ralphie ★]

2 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

He works at my hospital, I'll see if he wants to do lunch next week.

I bought my daughter a couple of his books on iBooks.

[petitepedal ★]

I also liked reading Being Mortal...it was also a Frontline episode on PBS...quality of life...It is hard to watch someone you love disappear and become the symptoms of a debilitating illness   Sending prayers and hugs out to both of you.

[jsharr ★]

Check please

[Razors Edge ★]

On 6/16/2017 at 7:37 PM, Further said:

You can take a treatment that will extend your life, but you will be miserable for a month or two. It won't improve your condition, just make you more miserable for a while, and then let you live longer at your 'normal' misery level, which is pretty damn high.

So, do you take it ?

What's the alternative? A shorter life and 'normal' misery level?

Seems like if it is a LOT longer life (years, not months or weeks), treatment is the way to go. If it is not significant, why bother?

Tom

[donkpow]

Depends. What's a gig like that pay?

[maddmaxx ★]

I'm not so sure about the chemo thing.  Womaxx finished hers two years ago and is still going strong, albeit with a slightly diminished memory and some lingering neuropathy.  I'm positive her choice would be for the chemo if she had it to do over again.  During her treatments we met many people who had been receiving chemo for years.  Some looked pretty bad and others were so normal you might not know they were in a chemo program so I guess it's a little from column a and a little from column b when it comes time to make a choice.

[MickinMD ★]

I'd take the treatment then study the Vulcan techniques Mr. Spock used to shut off pain.

[Randomguy]

On 6/16/2017 at 9:41 PM, Square Wheels said:

I think deciding quality vs quantity is a very hard and personal choice.  I'm not sure what I would do, probably quality. 

I would choose quality over quantity, without know more details.

[JerrySTL ★]

There's another angle to consider. You may have seen the life extending cancer drug Opdivo advertised on TV. It often extends the life of cancer patients about 3 months if you start taking it a year before. So far so good; however, they don't tell you that the treatment costs $10,000 a month and many insurances don't cover it. So taking it could cost you around $120,000 out of pocket to live 3 months longer. I'd rather leave that $150,000 to my wife so that she can get a new husband live a more comfortable life.