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So there I was.. a cycling story.

Wilbur

By Wilbur
in The Café

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Wilbur Flahute

Wilbur ★

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My normal road ride started the same direction every day and that took me out to the country and up to the top of the Niagara escarpment.  The road I take is a hilly side road that has a couple of switchbacks.  Once on top of the escarpment, you can run a long way along quiet country roads and scenic farms so it really is, cycling perfection.  Except for this one guy right at the top of the climb... a guy who would become my nemesis. 

This guy, a mid sixties aged RC car fan would run his cars up and down an already narrow road and would buzz you as you road by.  Not a big deal going up hill but coming back down at 60-70 km/hr, it could get in the way.  Over time, I kind of got used to him being there and anticipated his stupidity.

Every now and then I would make a comment like "Really man?"  "Do we have to do this every day?"  He would smile in a sinister sort of way and make a comment like "You aren't that fast" or something.  Even now and then his wife would be gardening, see his silliness and tell him to leave the cyclists alone.  

As the summer progressed, the guy got ballsier with this thing and would race you down hill sometimes getting within a couple feet of me.  This was getting annoying so one day, I slowed, turned around and rode back up the hill to talk to him.  I may have sounded a little confrontational in tone but, he had it coming and I was pissed.   I asked him what he was hoping to achieve other than take down a cyclist and his response was "Just having' fun man, ride faster if you don't like it".  :scratchhead:

I decide that I am getting nowhere with his thought so tell him nicely to keep it away from me when I am riding.  He suggests I take another route if I don't like it.  I rode home a little angered but vowing not to let a childish idiot ruin an otherwise perfect ride.

About a month later, and a month without seeing him, I came down the hill and rounding the corner by his house, the obnoxious smoking 4x4 contraption comes tearing out his driveway chasing me.  This thing was pretty big, fast and loud.  I take a quick glance back to see this maniacal smiling idiot at the controls and he has upped his game.  And budget for toys obviously.  

Now, not only is he chasing me, but taunting me as I ride faster to escape this thing.  He is pacing me just to my left and keeps getting closer and closer.  As I get further down the road he starts zig zagging back and forth just in front of my front wheel.  Then suddenly, he slowed to turn the contraption around.  I don't know what his intent was but I had slowed to survival speed just in case he hit me with it. As I approached, the car shot just in front of me and got stuck under my front tire as I stopped.

I was thinking how I would resolve this.  I was leaning towards a bloody beating but my carbon fibre four inch mini pump wasn't going to cut it.  For some reason, I got off the bike while holding enough pressure on the trapped smoking and screaming car/truck menace. I picked it up as the owner started to run down the road toward me.  I tucked it under one arm and rode off.  The wheels were spinning and the guy was yelling for about a quarter mile.  

Once I got around two switchbacks and out of sight, I came across a farm whose drainage pond came up to the fence line. I casually tossed it over the fence into the bullrushes that surrounded the pond and happily rode away, smiling a sinister smile like the Grinch when he stole Christmas Day. 

 

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parodybot Baroudeur

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Being a redneck knows no International boundary. Redneckism makes you measure things in feet and inches and miles per hour. The guy was pissed because you were ridingng in kilometers per hour. If you simply would have ridden in miles per hour he would have left you alone. You provoked him. You had it coming.

 

By the way your solution was a very redneck solution.

 

Well played.

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