Please explain this to me

[Frank Calico Cat]

Ladies and gentlemen of the Café, I'm just a fertile male calico cat. My mother was a calico from the poor side of Greenville who met a traveling Himalayan selling catnip from Charlotte. Your Café frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the alert bells of your notifications make me want to get out of my Persian catbed.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message in my inbox, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive fertile male calico mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a dog like these dogs are locked up in a cell within their own homes, where is the humanity and justification in this? I ask the offending forumite to explain themselves. Thank you.

 

[Ralphie ★]

So you are sort of like a frozen caveman lawyer?