Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Share #1 Posted September 23, 2017 I am at the only bar within walking distance of my parent's house, it is a dive bar. As such, it should have young people here but it doesn't. Lots of people my age, and all a lot fatter than me. Most are wearing t-shirts. Virginia vs. Boise State is on all the tv's, college football played on a bright blue field. T-shirt guys seem to be having fun, probably comparing beards and body odors. Two couples sitting across the u-shaped bar from me barely acknowledge each other's presence. The female part of one of the couples is dressed festively and is wearing makeup that exceeds the standards of the bar. She is hoping for more from her taciturn spouse, who prefers to stare straight ahead. She will add this night to the many little disappointments of her adult life, maybe remembering this one in particular when she is 82 years old and wonders why she didn't leave him when she was still bangable. Afroman's "Because I Got High" comes on the jukebox, eliciting smiles from the knowing. Overly-festive lady is one, and danced in her chair for just a moment until she remembered her company. "Jack and Dianne" now as the other quietly desperate couple eat wings without speaking. It looks like they are drinking classic cocktails like 7 & 7's and Jack n' cokes to go with the song. Gastroexploration is their game, Ohio's Vasco de Gama and wife, it seems. Mostly old guys here as the first of the young ladies arrive and rightfully seat themselves away from the unwashed masses. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" plays, a little louder than the previous songs. "Born in the USA" now plays as the bartenders in the corner yell loudly to one another, too loudly. We can hear you. They are all a bit heavier than the should be. Either lots of makeup or no makeup, care too much or not at all. One has pendulous breasts, another has a tattoo on the back of her neck, text that is too small to read. I am looking at the pendulous breasts. The beer is cheap and cold, but not Vienna Inn cold. It is draft for me, but many tables have bottles on the table that no one is collecting. Both of the women of the quiet couples are no longer there and have probably gone to the restroom to cry. The guys continue to show no interest in their surroundings as a country song destroys the mood of the place. Time to go home. 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted September 23, 2017 Share #2 Posted September 23, 2017 It almost sounds like "Otto's" that I visited in the town at the end of the bike trail except Otto's had more interesting people. I would have liked to have spent more time there but it was my turn around point and I still had 28 miles to pedal. As it was I didn't get home in time to make dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted September 23, 2017 Share #3 Posted September 23, 2017 14 minutes ago, Penerope said: I am at the only bar within walking distance of my parent's house, it is a dive bar. As such, it should have young people here but it doesn't. Lots of people my age, and all a lot fatter than me. Most are wearing t-shirts. Virginia vs. Boise State is on all the tv's, college football played on a bright blue field. T-shirt guys seem to be having fun, probably comparing beards and body odors. Two couples sitting across the u-shaped bar from me barely acknowledge each other's presence. The female part of one of the couples is dressed festively and is wearing makeup that exceeds the standards of the bar. She is hoping for more from her taciturn spouse, who prefers to stare straight ahead. She will add this night to the many little disappointments of her adult life, maybe remembering this one in particular when she is 82 years old and wonders why she didn't leave him when she was still bangable. Afroman's "Because I Got High" comes on the jukebox, eliciting smiles from the knowing. Overly-festive lady is one, and danced in her chair for just a moment until she remembered her company. "Jack and Dianne" now as the other quietly desperate couple eat wings without speaking. It looks like they are drinking classic cocktails like 7 & 7's and Jack n' cokes to go with the song. Gastroexploration is their game, Ohio's Vasco de Gama and wife, it seems. Mostly old guys here as the first of the young ladies arrive and rightfully seat themselves away from the unwashed masses. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" plays, a little louder than the previous songs. "Born in the USA" now plays as the bartenders in the corner yell loudly to one another, too loudly. We can hear you. They are all a bit heavier than the should be. Either lots of makeup or no makeup, care too much or not at all. One has pendulous breasts, another has a tattoo on the back of her neck, text that is too small to read. I am looking at the pendulous breasts. The beer is cheap and cold, but not Vienna Inn cold. It is draft for me, but many tables have bottles on the table that no one is collecting. Both of the women of the quiet couples are no longer there and have probably gone to the restroom to cry. The guys continue to show no interest in their surroundings as a country song destroys the mood of the place. Time to go home. Why the fuck aren't you writing for a living ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffJim Posted September 23, 2017 Share #4 Posted September 23, 2017 14 minutes ago, Further said: Why the fuck aren't you writing for a living ? He's too busy doing nothing all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffJim Posted September 23, 2017 Share #5 Posted September 23, 2017 It is a good portrait Penerope. Well done. Not sure if less beer or more is the scrip to get through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted September 23, 2017 Share #6 Posted September 23, 2017 No wonder there's an opioid epidemic in Ohio. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybeegb Posted September 23, 2017 Share #7 Posted September 23, 2017 I'm confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 23, 2017 Share #8 Posted September 23, 2017 4 hours ago, tybeegb said: I'm confused. So is Penerope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted September 23, 2017 Share #9 Posted September 23, 2017 After reading this, I can no longer say I've never been to a bar. You are the Cafe's Kingsley Amis. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #10 Posted September 23, 2017 7 hours ago, tybeegb said: I'm confused. Yeah, that blue football field was weird as hell. Idaho, go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #11 Posted September 23, 2017 11 hours ago, Further said: Why the fuck aren't you writing for a living ? What? I never considered that, plus I have never studied up how to properly do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted September 23, 2017 Share #12 Posted September 23, 2017 You could do it undoubtedly but you would need to curtail your cursing. I see you writing for Redbook or Esquire magazine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #13 Posted September 23, 2017 2 hours ago, AirwickWithCheese said: After reading this, I can no longer say I've never been to a bar. You are the Cafe's Kingsley Amis. You and I will dig up Kingsley's corpse and go chat up conservatively-dressed women at a proper Victorian pub in the countryside. We can invite them to see our etchings, and they would certainly agree. We could later offer to trade our captives with Square Wheels, as RFW could benefit from a change of scenery. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted September 23, 2017 Share #14 Posted September 23, 2017 I am attracted to your avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #15 Posted September 23, 2017 2 minutes ago, AirwickWithCheese said: I am attracted to your avatar. Penerope has an interesting look, as though she will soon be hosting her own contortion vlog somewhere. I would watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Come Lately Name Posted September 23, 2017 Share #16 Posted September 23, 2017 Sociologists must spend a lot of time in dive bars. (If they don’t, they probably should). I don’t think anywhere else gives as much insight into the human condition. People in their natural state. (Even when they’re putting on, for the sake of others, there’s something to be learned from observing this). This one seems to be a study in banality. Ordinary, stale and unexceptional. Bleak. My experience in such places seems to be the opposite. Maybe it’s because the clientele is more transitory in this one? The dive bars I’ve been in seem to be testaments to perseverance in the face of adversity. Humor seems to be the means of coping. Bitter, gallows humor, to be sure, but humor nonetheless. Maybe it’s because the bars I’ve been in have their regulars and the cast and crew are more familiar to me. Some of the funniest bits of spontaneity I’ve heard have been in dive bars: Once, while eating lunch in a local watering hole and watching the news, the old Dodge truck commercial came on - the one where, as the announcer walks toward the camera, extolling the virtues of the new truck, they drop one from out of frame, behind him. It slams down, in emphasis. Down the bar from me, one guy points to the screen and says “I bought that truck!” Local working guys lined the bar one afternoon, after work and one of the guys hollers down to the head of the DPW: “Hey! Ricky! When you gonna come and get those branches in front of my house?” The response from the other end of the bar was immediate: “Burn ‘em. I don’t want to get out of the truck”. Someone was once commenting about how our local family of fish-poaching, deer jacking ne’er do wells have moved up the social ladder (a little) from their beginnings in the local trailer park - “You can take the Cesarios out of West Ave, but you can never take the West Ave out of the Cesarios...” “Yeah, and you can never get the deer out of their cellar, either” came back, drily, from someone else. I don’t think I’ve ever observed moments like that in a more upscale bar. There there seems to be a more businesslike atmosphere. You’re there for a purpose - to socialize within strict guidelines. To be seen. To make an impression. It’s all very sterile, with an undertone of desperation. Yeah, I’ve witnessed fights, marital discord and empty overnight relationships forming, but I’ll take the real atmosphere of a dive bar over any upscale bar, anytime. Besides, they don’t have pickled eggs at fancy bars, so fuck ‘em. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted September 23, 2017 Share #17 Posted September 23, 2017 5 minutes ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said: Besides, they don’t have pickled eggs at fancy bars, so fuck ‘em. Those I can deal with - but when someone takes a bite out of a pickled cow tongue, I'm out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Come Lately Name Posted September 23, 2017 Share #18 Posted September 23, 2017 Just now, RalphWaldoMooseworth said: Those I can deal with .....not the next day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted September 23, 2017 Share #19 Posted September 23, 2017 1 hour ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said: Sociologists must spend a lot of time in dive bars. (If they don’t, they probably should). My university degree is in Sociology, so basically I have a licence to invent words. One of my fourth year study projects was on dive bars in our local area, basically sitting and doing what RG just did. It was really interesting. I am still a big fan of people watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airehead Posted September 23, 2017 Share #20 Posted September 23, 2017 So sad. Does it make you want to carve out something different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted September 23, 2017 Share #21 Posted September 23, 2017 Sounds like the area I grew up in..one reason I left...only local activities were centered around the bars..and the bars are pretty much as described above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Come Lately Name Posted September 23, 2017 Share #22 Posted September 23, 2017 20 minutes ago, Zephyr said: My university degree is in Sociology “Would you like to Supersize that?” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #23 Posted September 23, 2017 3 hours ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said: This one seems to be a study in banality. Ordinary, stale and unexceptional. Bleak. My experience in such places seems to be the opposite. Maybe it’s because the clientele is more transitory in this one? I like dive bars, this one was weird. In an odd spot, just locals. It is for people with little imagination who will not venture beyond 5 miles of their homes for anything. "What should we do, it is Friday?" "I dunno, television?" "We do that every night!" "Ok, the dive bar a mile from home? I am not going anywhere else on Friday, all the idiots are out". Admittedly, it was an odd time. Probably most of the regulars don't want to come out on Friday, when the amateurs finally exit their homes and don't know how to act. It was also before the younger crowd will want to go there, probably preferring to wait out the amateurs, too. I am glad this bar is there, though, it is a mid-point for a few mile walk I can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share #24 Posted September 23, 2017 1 hour ago, Airehead said: So sad. Does it make you want to carve out something different? Yuh huh. It is interesting to observe people in their natural environment, though. People are fun to watch, even if they are serving in the cautionary role. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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