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I would like to live in a cottage in the woods with a lovely lady wearing a conservative skirt


AirwickWithCheese
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and modest blouse. Her name could be Snow White or Alice although I still don't understand who's Alice? 

There would be a grass landing field surrounded by wildflowers for my friend Wilbur to come and visit us. 

Ralph would live close by and bring Ruby over for walks with Sam. Aire would visit often and I would use asmr massage to heal her leg miraculously. 

Road Runner would mow the grounds in his beautiful vintage 1969 Snapper Comet riding mower. He got it himself and Alice and I don't ask questions and pay him under the table. 

Old#7 would be my true friend. We would drink Ovaltine, Bosco, or Nestle Quik depending on our mood. RG and RO would live in the writer's shack with his award winning writings funding the entire operation. He would be on a monthly stripend. 

Caretaker and I would be friends. WOCaretaker and my Alice would bake pies whilst he and I bicycle around Sherwood Forest reuniting lost pets with their grateful owners. 

Further would visit often. He would tell stories and inevitably fall asleep by the fire at night. 

Kirby would be jealous of Alice and Alice would just disappear. I would give a token gesture search but to no avail. 

SW would be my true friend. He would still tell crass Jewish jokes but I would smile politely knowing he too would disappear someday. Until then, we would bicycle up Mt. McKinley most years and scuba dive with Zephyr in Aruba. 

MrsChris would be friends with Alice and Kirby. Chris is always too busy running his company to visit. J would have a crush on me but MrsChris and I would laugh at her silliness. 

Bikeman would build a little cottage for himself and bike girl. I would insist they get married before carnal knowledge. 

LJ would be the cottage handyman but keep his clothes on at all times. 

Philly Cheese would still be with me and sitting on my lap while we listen to rock and roll muzak.   

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10 hours ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

 

Caretaker and I would be friends. WOCaretaker and my Alice would bake pies whilst he and I bicycle around Sherwood Forest reuniting lost pets with their grateful owners. 

 

How 'bout I bake pies with Alice while you guys go cycling in the forest?

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I would like to live in a mansion on the ocean with the 22 year-old version of Linda Ronstadt. Or, not being picky, I'd accept the substitutions of the 22 year-old versions of Heather Locklear, Diane Lane, Lucy Liu, Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, Denise Richards or Katharine McPhee, one of the few former American Idol finalists that actually went to college at a music conservatory who now plays Paige on Scorpion.

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