UglyBob Posted September 25, 2017 Share #1 Posted September 25, 2017 If any of you would like to read a short story, I'd love to know what you think. I've been playing around with first-person present tense. It's not as easy as you might think. This is version seven of the piece. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. The Waking Room - 6x9.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybeegb Posted September 25, 2017 Share #2 Posted September 25, 2017 Like it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted September 25, 2017 Share #3 Posted September 25, 2017 I will check it out tonight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_in Ray Of Sunshine Posted September 25, 2017 Share #4 Posted September 25, 2017 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 25, 2017 Share #5 Posted September 25, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted September 25, 2017 Share #6 Posted September 25, 2017 UB, I thought it was well written and presented a realistic perspective of the narrator's experience. The story used several elements from the narrator's life to bring the hospital events together. Very well done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted September 25, 2017 Share #7 Posted September 25, 2017 I am at work. I will read it later. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share #8 Posted September 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Old#7 said: UB, I thought it was well written and presented a realistic perspective of the narrator's experience. The story used several elements from the narrator's life to bring the hospital events together. Very well done. Thanks. It's just such a departure from what I usually write. I want to use it as a giveaway piece to get email subscribers, but I'm still a little afraid to put it out there in the world. I figured I'd just dip my toes in the water here first to see what guys thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted September 25, 2017 Share #9 Posted September 25, 2017 Nice short story. The first person was well done. I would not be apprehensive about putting that out if I were you. I'm assuming that you have bounced this off those in your writer's circle? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share #10 Posted September 25, 2017 17 minutes ago, Kzoo said: Nice short story. The first person was well done. I would not be apprehensive about putting that out if I were you. I'm assuming that you have bounced this off those in your writer's circle? Yeah, I did. They liked it as well. I guess I'm just need to get over the fear and do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted September 25, 2017 Share #11 Posted September 25, 2017 10 minutes ago, UglyBob said: Yeah, I did. They liked it as well. I guess I'm just need to get over the fear and do it. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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