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My Son May Be Done With Baseball...


ChrisL
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He told me yesterday he's done and was going to tell the coach yesterday but I asked him to wait until Monday which he said he would.  I spoke to him last night and he said he just wants to live a regular life, get a job and go to school which he cant do with practice and gamenschedule. He also doesn't want to be sore for 3 months in season.

I told him that was fine, it's your life and if you are not happy playing then don't play. But also realize once you quit you cant go back and not many kids get to do what you do so you need to be 100% certain this is what you want. He seems certain tho so he'll probably be done as of Monday.  

I'm a little disappointed as he has the skills to play at a high level but I understand if he's lost the passion to play it's just not worth it.  I do see a much different person when he plays softball as opposed to baseball.  He has fun, smiles and laughs when playing softball. We never see that gonna baseball diamond..

It was a 14 year run of year baseball, the last 10 years rear round, but it looks like it's over.

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I certainly understand this, there comes a point where you realize you've gone as far as you can and it's time to move on.  Pretty much everyone who's competed in high level sports comes to this conclusion sooner or later.  Some of us just realize it sooner than others and that it's time to move on with are lives.

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3 minutes ago, Indy said:

I certainly understand this, there comes a point where you realize you've gone as far as you can and it's time to move on.  Pretty much everyone who's competed in high level sports comes to this conclusion sooner or later.  Some of us just realize it sooner than others and that it's time to move on with are lives.

The thing is I think he can go farther. The coaches are priming him for a key role in their rotation.  But you are right, he just wants to be a regular kid and im OK with that too.  As long as he's happy Im happy.

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Just now, donkpow said:

Not everybody has a single focus in life. It takes a lot to be a professional athlete. Even through college, those guys live in a cage.

Yeah baseball life is year round with long days in the weight room and on the field.  

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I understand this Chris.  We went through this with our son who played a high level of hockey.  It got to the point that he wasn't enjoying himself and therefore wasn't willing to put in the effort off the ice anymore.  He walked away, but 5 years later he still plays the odd pick-up game and plays with his friends where he laughs and fools around.  He tells me he loves THIS game, not the game he was playing competitively

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It can be hard for elite athletes to transition when their sports career is over.  I've read a lot of interviews and talked to people who say that so much of their lives (their friends, their family's money, all their time) is committed to the sport, that it can be hard when that stage is over.  They don't know who they are without their sport to define them.

It sounds like your son is doing a lot of thinking about how he wants to define himself and what he wants in his life.  That can be hard for everyone involved since the family has been supporting him in achieving his goals for so long.  But he will have other goals, and freeing up some time may help him identify what those are.

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8 minutes ago, Kirby said:

It can be hard for elite athletes to transition when their sports career is over.  I've read a lot of interviews and talked to people who say that so much of their lives (their friends, their family's money, all their time) is committed to the sport, that it can be hard when that stage is over.  They don't know who they are without their sport to define them.

It sounds like your son is doing a lot of thinking about how he wants to define himself and what he wants in his life.  That can be hard for everyone involved since the family has been supporting him in achieving his goals for so long.  But he will have other goals, and freeing up some time may help him identify what those are.

Wow, very well stated!

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9 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

I know when my dream of a professional soccer career went crashing down in the flames of an injury I eventually became a referee.  I still had a passion for the game but without as much of the pain.

 

Perhaps he will return to the game later.

Not likely he'll be able to play at a collegiate level once he quits but you never know. He took my roster spot on our slow pitch team and loves playing softball.  He can play for fun as long as he wants.  

I don't see him coaching or umpiring though. 

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Regret is a horrible thing later in life.  Encourage him to really do some soul searching and make sure that he is totally at peace with his decision now, and in the future.

I have a similar struggle with my sons and scouting.  My passion is not theirs, but I look back on my youth and how I did not continue in Scouts after a move from OK to TX.  Not important at the time, but I see all the opportunities that the Scouts have to do incredible stuff and how the title of Eagle Scout can open doors and wish they saw what I see.

Like you and most parents, all we want is for our children to be happy, productive, healthy humans.

Best of luck.  I am pulling for you and your son.

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20 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Regret is a horrible thing later in life.  Encourage him to really do some soul searching and make sure that he is totally at peace with his decision now, and in the future.

I have a similar struggle with my sons and scouting.  My passion is not theirs, but I look back on my youth and how I did not continue in Scouts after a move from OK to TX.  Not important at the time, but I see all the opportunities that the Scouts have to do incredible stuff and how the title of Eagle Scout can open doors and wish they saw what I see.

Like you and most parents, all we want is for our children to be happy, productive, healthy humans.

Best of luck.  I am pulling for you and your son.

That's why I asked him to wait a couple of days to be absolutely sure.  But in hindsight I saw it this summer.  He played in a collegiate summer league but skipped numerous games which he never did before.  He also was pretty lax  in his off season conditioning.  He may not have come to grips with it then but he may have been done well before yesterday.

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It sounds like he has made a mature decision. He knows his heart isn't in it any longer to the level it needs to be. Good advice to ask him to take a couple more days after he made it real and spoke the words to his Dad. Sounds like a good kid with a wise Dad. 

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My daughter played softball all through college.  She never thought about quitting.  But she had a good friend who decided after high school she didn't want to play anymore and she turned down potential scholarships to play in college.  She was a good pitcher and received a lot of awards in high school.  She sat out a year and started missing it, so she walked on at the college she was attending and pitched for three more years.

If your son decides not to play, there will come a time when he questions that decision regardless of whether it was the right decision for him or not.   

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32 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

Make sure you do not push his decision based on your wishes.  Back his choices.  It's important to him.

The only thing I want is for him to be happy.  However this is a decision with a certain finality, not like should I get a hair cut now or tomorrow.  I just asked him to ponder it a few days to be sure.

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We went through a similar thing with our daughters and swimming.  They loved it up until about age 12-13 where they peaked, but after that it became a chore and they just didn't like the competitiveness and single focus.  They quite right after high school.  I think they liked the high school swimming a lot better than the uber-competitive USA swimming.   

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Seems your son might have thought a lot about this. What else does he seem to be good @ off the baseball field?  He does he sense this other interest/natural skill in himself at this time?

My niece is 16 yrs. old and has been in competitive gymnastics for past few years. I was a little shocked to see what she could do....taking running leaps into handsprings, multiple twists, etc. from one end of rm. to another, parallel bars..  She has had to come terms with her injuries and probably because her body is maturing in a way also..  It's practice nearly every evening for at least 3 hrs. straight each time.  I am not sure what other interests/strengths she has naturally developed off the gym mat.  So that's important.

Another nephew now 30, was in provincial competitive swimming for at least 8 years of his life.  A lot of rigorous training.  One hear stories from him of being kicked in the head while in water, etc.  At least for a short time, excellence in a sport instills discipline, perseverance which can translate to other areas in life. For sure, this hopefully will help your son.

 

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11 hours ago, ChrisL said:

He told me yesterday he's done and was going to tell the coach yesterday but I asked him to wait until Monday which he said he would.  I spoke to him last night and he said he just wants to live a regular life, get a job and go to school which he cant do with practice and gamenschedule. He also doesn't want to be sore for 3 months in season.

I told him that was fine, it's your life and if you are not happy playing then don't play. But also realize once you quit you cant go back and not many kids get to do what you do so you need to be 100% certain this is what you want. He seems certain tho so he'll probably be done as of Monday.  

I'm a little disappointed as he has the skills to play at a high level but I understand if he's lost the passion to play it's just not worth it.  I do see a much different person when he plays softball as opposed to baseball.  He has fun, smiles and laughs when playing softball. We never see that gonna baseball diamond..

It was a 14 year run of year baseball, the last 10 years rear round, but it looks like it's over.

Consider it a good thing that he knows what he wants and what he doesn't. If you're not happy doing something you'll eventually fail because your heart isn't in it. I'm one of those who think you should find what you enjoy doing and make a living out of it. No sense depending on a job that makes you unhappy.

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