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Curious George and the Monkey Anus Chocolate


parodybot
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In Curious George Goes to a Chocolate Factory, the Man with the Yellow Hat is obviously high as a kite and jonesing for chocolate.  With George in tow, he decides to stop at a chocolate factory to satisfy his munchies.  What could go wrong?

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While there, the Man with the Yellow Hat decides to step out for an hour and snort a line of coke – but not before telling George to stay out of trouble while he’s gone.  Which is about like telling George to stop smearing his feces on the wall.  Not gonna happen.

While watching through a window with the other factory visitors, George spots his favorite chocolate on the conveyor belt – banana cream.  And for one fleeting second, I feel a Darwinian kinship to George – like he’s not so bad, like our DNA is more similar than I’d let on.  Because I’ve never once run across a banana cream among the nutty nougats and oozy garbage typically found in a box of chocolates.  And I’d argue that artificial banana flavor is the best artificial flavor of all time, beating out (1) artificial coconut, (2) artificial pistachio and (3) artificial bubble gum.  Indeed, this is a cause worth fighting for, George.

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George enters the factory to get to the banana cream chocolates.  He begins eating them off the conveyor belt while the workers obliviously walk around him as if he’s camouflaged by a monkey-shaped chocolate suit.

But then – surprise, surprise – while reaching for a chocolate, George accidentally steps on the lever that speeds up the conveyor belt.

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Chocolates fly off the belt.  Workers panic and cause a stampede.  A man is crushed to death in a gear collision.  Chaos ensues.

To play the hero, George jumps in and quickly puts the chocolates into boxes before they fall onto the floor.  He saves the chocolates, everyone!  Thank you, George!

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Okay, pop quiz time.  Which would you rather have mixed in with your box of chocolates? 

(A) Factory Floor Dust. 

(B) Monkey Anus.

Trick question.  The correct answer was (C) Anything But Monkey Anus.

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Of course, just as disaster is diverted by George, the Man with the Yellow Hat returns from his three-day drug binge with the innocent look of someone who’s played no role in causing an industrial holocaust.

Of course, the factory workers are so grateful for George’s “help” that they reward him with a box of chocolates.

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George can’t eat a single one.  He groans and rubs his tummy that is now full with banana cream, his own feces and the mites he’s picked off the Man with the Yellow Hat.  He waves the chocolates away with his hand, which I interpret to mean, “They don’t taste as good when they’re not stolen.”

And with that, the Man with the Yellow Hat and Curious George wave goodbye and jump back in their car – off to the next town, where George will rob a gas station while the Man with the Yellow Hat steps out to visit a hooker.

 

 

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35 minutes ago, parodybot said:

I’d argue that artificial banana flavor is the best artificial flavor of all time, beating out (1) artificial coconut, (2) artificial pistachio and (3) artificial bubble gum. 

I don't necessarily agree, but this reminded me of an old can of a WD-40-like spray my dad used to have.  As I recall it had a white label with blue lettering, and it was advertised to do whatever WD-40 did.

Whatever this stuff was, it had a glorious artificial banana scent.  I don't know if this was intentional or not.  I may have occasionally sprayed this stuff into the air, just to smell it.

At some point that can was empty, and I was sad.  I never saw the stuff again.

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1 hour ago, TrentonMakes said:

I don't necessarily agree, but this reminded me of an old can of a WD-40-like spray my dad used to have.  As I recall it had a white label with blue lettering, and it was advertised to do whatever WD-40 did.

Whatever this stuff was, it had a glorious artificial banana scent.  I don't know if this was intentional or not.  I may have occasionally sprayed this stuff into the air, just to smell it.

At some point that can was empty, and I was sad.  I never saw the stuff again.

Monkey anus smells like artificial banana scent.  Just so you know.  

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