Do you lie?

[Square Wheels]

I suppose there is no way to evaluate your response.

I am currently dealing with a liar at work.  It's bothering me to the point I am considering leaving.  I am not in a good mood.

Why don't we get rid of that person?  You have no idea how hard that is in our environment.  It would take at least a year, and then we usually get sued once we terminate someone.

[donkpow]

I know a guy who knows a guy.

[Green Grass]

Do I lie?

I think you are one cool mo' fo'.

What do think?  Do I lie?

[2Far]

http://www.askamanager.org/search-results?q=liars

[Wilbur]

Yes, that is my preferred position for sleep. 

[donkpow]

Examine the rewards received from the behavior and you will know the cause. Determine if the person is habitual or pathological liar.

[Longjohn]

I try to lie for at least five or six hours a day.

[bikeman564™]

26 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

It would take at least a year, and then we usually get sued once we terminate someone.

We got sued once after letting someone go. IIRC there was a monetary settlement.

[Kzoo]

Many many years ago I worked with a guy, we'll call him Jim ('cause that was his name).  Jim was the Purchasing Manager at a company I worked for.  Jim was a pathological liar - at least that's was the diagnosis of Dr Kzoo.  Jim would lie about what he had for lunch.  His office was right next to mine and it was a daily comedy show listening to conversations he had.  Why and how he kept his job I have no idea.  Jim was a great guy to be around, you just couldn't trust a thing he said.  I worked in engineering and I had to deal with parts and vendors and that meant I had to deal with Jim.  Once I understood that he lied about everything (with a smile) I could deal with him.  If I needed something from him, I confronted and openly questioned everything he said.  Eventually we could get to a version of the truth.

Good luck SW with your liar.

[donkpow]

I imagine people who are 'pathological' liars feel really bad about it and would change it if they could. I agree with Kzoo, in that case, you should work to get what you need.

[Parsnip Totin Jack]

I lie like a dog. But my honesty compels me to tell you that I made up what I just said. Trust me.

[maddmaxx]

I always lie.

 

We can make an appointment to see both docs tomorrow.

[pedalphile]

1 hour ago, Wilbur said:

Yes, that is my preferred position for sleep. 

Funny stuff, and good to know you don't kip sitting up in your pilot seat.

[ChrisL]

My motto is to just own it.  I'd rather tell the truth and deal with the consequences than tty to lie out of something. 

[Chris...]

[Longjohn]

[2Far]

55 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

I always lie.

 

He's lying.

[parodybot]

Only when I don't

[Dirtyhip]

Not really.  I might lie, when someone shows me a picture of their baby, or for the sake of saving their feelings.  For serious matters, No.  Why would I?  It makes zero sense to lie.

Sometimes, I have been too honest at work.  That has cost me dearly in promotion and ladder climbing.  I tell it like it is, and don't kiss ass.  Upper management doesn't like people who are not yes people.  Whatever.  I have a clear conscience and a clean nose.  F em.

[Square Wheels]

3 hours ago, donkpow said:

Determine if the person is habitual or pathological liar.

I'm going with habitual and sociopathic.  They lie a lot, others have complained to me.  I have been lied to at least three documented times, this time I was made to look incompetenct due to their lie.  We met with their boss, discussed it and, and even though they agreed what they said was not true, continued to maintain that they don't lie.

[maddmaxx]

54 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

I'm going with habitual and sociopathic.  They lie a lot, others have complained to me.  I have been lied to at least three documented times, this time I was made to look incompetenct due to their lie.  We met with their boss, discussed it and, and even though they agreed what they said was not true, continued to maintain that they don't lie.

You understand the difference between lying and modifying the truth don't you?

[Kzoo]

11 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

You understand the difference between lying and modifying the truth don't you?

Yes.  Ok, to be honest , no. 

[Randomguy]

I think almost all people lie at least occasionally, most quite often, or at least more often than you think.

When do I lie?  Like most people, out of convenience.  "Hey, you wanna do something tonight?"  RG, not feeling like doing anything and a sensitive soul is asking:  "Nah, I have to do this or that or the other (which is true most of the time, which makes this very plausible).

"Did you do anything fun today?"  RG: "Just the usual"  This is when I don't feel like getting into a long and detailed discussion with someone about something you know they make painful somehow, or won't get without spelling out every damn detail.  For instance, I have a buddy that will launch into a diatribe about chinese food being the most unhealthy food in the world if I said I had it that day, so I would lie and maybe say I had tacos instead.  Just didn't feel like hearing nonsensical ranting about chinese food, which seems way healthier (most of it) to me than eating most mexican food.

I might lie about my desire to watch something on tv if I know other people are into something.  I visit my parents, and I will watch old sitcoms with them that are mildy cute, but not really very good, then say that I liked them.  I could probably think of a hundred little things I might lie about in a week to soothe someone's feelings or save myself a little time or hassle, and I think most, if not all, the people here are the same.

Big things I don't lie about.  I don't lie on my resume, I don't augment experience, I don't lie about anything (or lie through omission) that would cause other people harm, and I don't lie to jerk people around.  Again, I think most people on the forum are the same.

I also think you are a damn liar if you don't admit it.

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

11 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

It's bothering me to the point I am considering leaving. 

I suspect you have the expectation that the person should tell the truth, which in fact is a reasonable expectation in most cases.

I would suggest that you try re-setting your view to one where you expect the person to not tell the truth; in other words you expect  that person to lie.

Then I would suggest you try differentiating between the behavior and the person.  You can despise the behavior, which may allow you enough separation to tolerate the person - at least enough that you can deal with him on a professional level so you don't feel like quitting your job.

I would also suggest that, to the extent possible, you minimize any verbal communication, restrict personal interaction and contact, and put any communication in an email.

In the end, you don't have to like the person, be pals, and go fishing with him; you only have to work with him just enough to use him to get your job done.

[Further]

I'm basically honest.  But there may be 'versions' of story's, depending on the audience...   

[Slow_Guy_On_Bike]

I don't lie, I lay.

[Some Old Guy]

On 10/20/2017 at 8:42 AM, Square Wheels said:

I am currently dealing with a liar at work.  It's bothering me to the point I am considering leaving.  I am not in a good mood.

Why don't we get rid of that person?  You have no idea how hard that is in our environment.  It would take at least a year, and then we usually get sued once we terminate someone.

How do we know you aren't lying about this?   

[Square Wheels]

8 hours ago, Tim Burr said:

How do we know you aren't lying about this?   

Trust me.