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Do you think it is better to have relationships with other people?


Randomguy

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2 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

You wouldn't be on this forum at all if you didn't think it was better to have a remote, anonymous relationship with us.

Sometimes people on the forum don't understand me and get all bent out of shape, not asking for clarification, people that I previously thought wouldn't have done that.  More than half a year later and I still feel weirded out a bit by one such incident.

But besides the forum, I meant people in the real world.  Was there ever an ecosystem not composed of hippies where people lived in relative harmony?

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18 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

  Was there ever an ecosystem not composed of hippies where people lived in relative harmony?

...that whole hippie commune peace and love thing is a myth, perpetuated by people who never experienced it.:(

I could tell you stories about my time on the hippie organic vegetable farm that would make you feel safer in New York City.

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2 minutes ago, Page Turner said:

...that whole hippie commune peace and love thing is a myth, perpetuated by people who never experienced it.:(

I could tell you stories about my time on the hippie organic vegetable farm that would make you feel safer in New York City.

I figured that was a drug-infused myth.  Chicks not shaving their legs is no kind of like I want to be part of.

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1 minute ago, Randomguy said:

Well, if it could stop being like a Rick & Morty adventure, I would be happier.

...it's not about happiness, man.  It's about acceptance.  Once you start accepting without prejudicial expectations, you'll be a lot happier.

Sometimes, life is just a big pile of shit, and it's not like you have much control over a lot of it.  Some you do, with regard to yourself, but that's about it.

 

Your ex ol' lady is gonna be what she is for the foreseeable future (unless you have her whacked).  The only thing you have control over is whether you let her push your buttons.

And having her whacked is fraught with even greater personal and spiritual peril, so as a practical solution it's out.:(

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3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

That is assuming you aren't dependent to a small degree on others for things like employment or living conditions, or whatnot.

oh, i see.  You are talking the  Theodore J. Kaczynski  route.  I had you pegged for many things, RG, but I must admit I didn't see it coming.

 

Image result for unabomber

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1 minute ago, Page Turner said:

 

Your ex ol' lady is gonna be what she is for the foreseeable future (unless you have her whacked).  The only thing you have control over is whether you let her push your buttons.

And having her whacked is fraught with even greater personal and spiritual peril, so as a practical solution it's out.:(

I am actually not talking about her, I have accepted that she is gonna be bitter and angry that her stupid behavior caused me to tell her I no longer wanted to be affiliated with her in any capacity, and that she is turning into a potato.   And I wouldn't try to get her whacked, because she is whacky already, and RO is mystifyingly attached to her.  If she got hit by a bus, it would solve some immediate problems, though, but it would create different problems at the same time.

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Yes.... conversation with yourself isn't necessarily going to make you think...

Unfortunately..what we experience along the way sometimes colors how we approach relationships...and by the time we have figured all of that and moved on....so has the opportunity... Life is a huge challenge and I think it is helped by relationships...

Sometimes I feel too damn alone...but hey that is how the world turns

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4 minutes ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

DIdn;t da bombs actually cost him money?  How did he support himself?

Quote

 

After resigning from Berkeley, Kaczynski moved to his parents' home in Lombard, Illinois, then two years later to a remote cabin he had built outside Lincoln, Montana, where he could live a simple life with very little money and without electricity or running water,[41] working odd jobs and receiving some financial support from his family.[8]

His original goal was to become self-sufficient so that he could live autonomously. He taught himself survival skills such as tracking game, edible plant identification, organic farming, bow drilling and other primitive technologies.[42] He used an old bicycle to get to town, and a volunteer at the local library said he visited frequently to read classic works in their original languages. Other Lincoln residents said later that such a lifestyle was not unusual in the area.[43]

By 1975, Kaczynski had decided it was impossible to live peacefully in nature because of the destruction of the wildland around his cabin by real estate development and industrial projects.[42]He later recalled being shocked on a hike to one of his favorite wild spots:

 

...Wikipedia

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2 hours ago, Randomguy said:

Sometimes people on the forum don't understand me and get all bent out of shape, not asking for clarification, people that I previously thought wouldn't have done that.  More than half a year later and I still feel weirded out a bit by one such incident.

But besides the forum, I meant people in the real world.  Was there ever an ecosystem not composed of hippies where people lived in relative harmony?

My father, his eldest brother and a couple of my cousins were heavy drinkers.  There were a few bars they frequented that I occasionally visited where it seemed "never was heard a discouraging word." Of course, that was an escape from the "real world." But it was tempting to spend time there! My uncle and another guy played banjoes -for free- on Friday nights in one of them - it was their home away from home.

But when we set up relationships with others - in the real world or here - isn't because of the sense of support you get from a group, even if it's a group of two?  The attractions of those bars have similarities to what attracts us to relationships in general.

There have been some tough times in my life where I'm so glad I had the support, sympathy, of the "quit crying, Nancy," advice from those relationships.

My nephew, who lost his infant son Tucker last Winter as many here know, had trouble adjusting back to regular high school afterward and finished the school year on home teaching. He went from being a very popular advanced-academic student and tall, broad-shouldered athlete to almost a recluse. I keep urging him to keep or reestablish friendships because he's going to need them as he recovers. He's been going to a gym three days/week lately and he's going on a school trip, including a few close friends, to Spain for a week or so this month. I'm going to be doing some hiking, Washington D.C. sightseeing, Baltimore Orioles, etc. stuff this summer and want to take him AND a couple of his friends, too.  I hope that starts getting him back to normal.

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30 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

My nephew, who lost his infant son Tucker last Winter as many here know, had trouble adjusting back to regular high school afterward and finished the school year on home teaching. He went from being a very popular advanced-academic student and tall, broad-shouldered athlete to almost a recluse. I keep urging him to keep or reestablish friendships because he's going to need them as he recovers. He's been going to a gym three days/week lately and he's going on a school trip, including a few close friends, to Spain for a week or so this month. I'm going to be doing some hiking, Washington D.C. sightseeing, Baltimore Orioles, etc. stuff this summer and want to take him AND a couple of his friends, too.  I hope that starts getting him back to normal.

This  example proves that positive in-person relationships with just 1-2 people, is helpful when times get really tough and a person feels alone/no one understands them.

All the activity in the world will not replace the loss of his baby son. Mick, hope you spend quiet time just to be with him,....just you and him.  

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I think it depends on the people.  Lots of people are caring, kind, funny, creative, smart, loyal or have other redeeming qualities that make them good friends or the kind of people you'd like to have a relationship with.   But there are some people who should just be avoided as well.

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49 minutes ago, Kirby said:

I think it depends on the people.  Lots of people are caring, kind, funny, creative, smart, loyal or have other redeeming qualities that make them good friends or the kind of people you'd like to have a relationship with.   But there are some people who should just be avoided as well.

...I can truthfully say I am one of the above.:flirtyeyess:

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