Randomguy Posted July 1, 2018 Share #1 Posted July 1, 2018 The plants were just blowing in the breeze of the air conditioner in the window, curtain pulled back, undirected sun from a cloudy day trying to find focus so sundials can do their job “This thing is blotting out the sun” said the unidentifiable plant, annoyed. “It is making me chilly. And dry” it further complained “Will you shut the fuck up already?” said the other plant, just sitting there looking like it just crawled out of the Cretaceous period. “Bitch, bitch, bitch, that is all you do.” ”You are ugly as hell” said the first plant “just look at yourself! It is no wonder bugs won’t eat you”. ”They won’t touch you because you are so caustic” said the broad-leafed Cretaceous plant to the first “my leaves wither and die when they even get close to your tentacle-like fronds. You are like some disgusting sea creature, you know, except without the sea, but with all the stench” Fucking plants. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share #2 Posted July 1, 2018 I dont know the names of plants, you see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
late Posted July 1, 2018 Share #3 Posted July 1, 2018 They like to get me stoned. But then they like me, they said some unkind things about you. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share #4 Posted July 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, late said: They like to get me stoned. But then they like me, they said some unkind things about you. Another view: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted July 1, 2018 Share #5 Posted July 1, 2018 the large leafed one is an elephant ear or alocasia most likely. The smaller, thin leaved plant is most likely a spider plant or chlorophytum cosmosom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share #6 Posted July 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, jsharr said: the large leafed one is an elephant ear or alocasia most likely. The smaller, thin leaved plant is most likely a spider plant or chlorophytum cosmosom Thank you, Mr. Hanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted July 1, 2018 Share #7 Posted July 1, 2018 Just now, Bag of dick said: Thank you, Mr. Hanks! You are welcome. Now you have an elephant in the room that everyone can ignore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share #8 Posted July 1, 2018 I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted. Bastards! Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted July 1, 2018 Share #9 Posted July 1, 2018 38 minutes ago, Bag of dick said: I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted. Bastards! Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”. Some plants are famous. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted July 1, 2018 Share #10 Posted July 1, 2018 46 minutes ago, Bag of dick said: I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted. Bastards! Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”. If you would have used a picture of a mother in laws tongue it would have been believable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share #11 Posted October 23, 2018 I moved the plants, btw, my bedroom is a plant-free zone. Thanks for asking, you fuckers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedalphile Posted October 23, 2018 Share #12 Posted October 23, 2018 A plant based rant? I like it, sustainable and environmentally sound ranting, have at it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted October 23, 2018 Share #13 Posted October 23, 2018 On 7/1/2018 at 10:50 AM, jsharr said: chlorophytum cosmosom You just made those words up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted October 23, 2018 Share #14 Posted October 23, 2018 On 7/1/2018 at 11:01 AM, Randomguy said: I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted. Bastards! Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”. "This place sucks, no direct sun!" "Yeah we should leaf now" 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted October 23, 2018 Share #15 Posted October 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: You just made those words up "But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted October 23, 2018 Share #16 Posted October 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, jsharr said: "This place sucks, no direct sun!" "Yeah we should leaf now" "I don't know. I've set down my roots" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted October 23, 2018 Share #17 Posted October 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Mr. Silly said: "I don't know. I've set down my roots" "This place has really gone to pot" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted October 23, 2018 Share #18 Posted October 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, jsharr said: "This place has really gone to pot" "It stems from having to live with RG" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted October 23, 2018 Share #19 Posted October 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: "It stems from having to live with RG" At least he fertilizes daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted October 23, 2018 Share #20 Posted October 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, jsharr said: At least he fertilizes daily. "He is seedy that way." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr Posted October 23, 2018 Share #21 Posted October 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: "He is seedy that way." "Beats anything I ever saw" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedalphile Posted October 23, 2018 Share #22 Posted October 23, 2018 Another rich vein of comedy gold here you guys, great work. And fungi have their moments, too, one said to t’others, I am out of here, chaps, it’s simply too crowded, just not mush room. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Share #23 Posted October 27, 2021 Plants are dicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted October 27, 2021 Share #24 Posted October 27, 2021 9 minutes ago, Randomguy said: Plants are dicks. some are woody 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie Posted October 28, 2021 Share #25 Posted October 28, 2021 I’m a veg, Danny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted October 28, 2021 Share #26 Posted October 28, 2021 On 10/23/2018 at 9:55 AM, Randomguy said: Thanks for asking, you fuckers! You are welcome, ewe fucker! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie Posted October 28, 2021 Share #27 Posted October 28, 2021 6 minutes ago, Wilburger said: You are welcome, ewe fucker! That was baaaad! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn Posted October 28, 2021 Share #28 Posted October 28, 2021 On 7/1/2018 at 10:50 AM, jsharr said: the large leafed one is an elephant ear So you’re telling me that’s what they fry up and serve at the fair? I don’t think so. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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