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Plants: just what the fuck do they think they’re doing?


Randomguy

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The plants were just blowing in the breeze of the air conditioner in the window, curtain pulled back, undirected sun from a cloudy day trying to find focus so sundials can do their job  

“This thing is blotting out the sun” said the unidentifiable plant, annoyed.  

“It is making me chilly. And dry” it further complained  

“Will you shut the fuck up already?” said the other plant, just sitting there looking like it just crawled out of the Cretaceous period.  “Bitch, bitch, bitch, that is all you do.”

”You are ugly as hell” said the first plant “just look at yourself!  It is no wonder bugs won’t eat you”.

”They won’t touch you because you are so caustic” said the broad-leafed Cretaceous  plant to the first “my leaves wither and die when they even get close to your tentacle-like fronds.   You are like some disgusting sea creature, you know, except without the sea, but with all the stench”  

Fucking plants.

 

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38 minutes ago, Bag of dick said:

I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted.  

Bastards!

Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”.  

:angry:

Some plants are famous.

robert-plant-443d9309-e400-43a9-a984-093

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46 minutes ago, Bag of dick said:

I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted.  

Bastards!

Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”.  

:angry:

If you would have used a picture of a mother in laws tongue it would have been believable.

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  • 3 months later...
On 7/1/2018 at 11:01 AM, Randomguy said:

I can’t believe none of you ignorant fuckers liked the observed conversation I recounted.  

Bastards!

Like your plants ever have conversations other than “Hi, I am a plant” and “I am also a plant”.  

:angry:

"This place sucks, no direct sun!"

"Yeah we should leaf now"

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2 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said:

You just made those words up

"But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?"

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  • 3 years later...

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