Mr. Silly Posted July 11, 2018 Share #1 Posted July 11, 2018 Once upon a time I had a pizzaburger hot dog for lunch. It went through me like a freight train. This made me feel anxious. I made to the restroom in time and as a bonus, there was no one else in there. This made me feel relieved. I took the stall furthest from the door and sat down. I quickly unloaded Round 1. I guess I moved slightly because the motion sensor on the flusher thought I was done so it flushed the toilet, soaking my ass in the process. This made me want to die. After a bit I was able to relax and dropped Round 2. This made feel MUUUCH better. I got cleaned up and got up but this time motion detector did notice me moving. I waved my hand over the motion detector and still nothing happened. This left me concerned; had I turned into a vampire? How do I flush it now? Maybe can sneak out and no one will know it was me. This made me feel irresponsible. I noticed a button on the side of the motion detector and decide to push it. This caused the toilet to flush which made me feel relieved at first but water shot up and since I was leaning over, almost splashed me in the face. I pulled back in time but it still made me mad at the inventor of the motion detector flush toilet and long for the day of the handle I could sanitarily flush with my foot while keeping my face out of the splash zone. The End 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted July 11, 2018 Share #2 Posted July 11, 2018 3 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: Once upon a time I had a pizzaburger hot dog for lunch. It went through me like a freight train. This made me feel anxious. I made to the restroom in time and as a bonus, there was no one else in there. This made me feel relieved. I took the stall furthest from the door and sat down. I quickly unloaded Round 1. I guess I moved slightly because the motion sensor on the flusher thought I was done so it flushed the toilet, soaking my ass in the process. This made me want to die. After a bit I was able to relax and dropped Round 2. This made feel MUUUCH better. I got cleaned up and got up but this time motion detector did notice me moving. I waved my hand over the motion detector and still nothing happened. This left me concerned; had I turned into a vampire? How do I flush it now? Maybe can sneak out and no one will know it was me. This made me feel irresponsible. I noticed a button on the side of the motion detector and decide to push it. This caused the toilet to flush which, This made me feel relieved at first but water shot up and since I was leaning over, almost splashed me in the face. I pulled back in time but it still made me mad at the inventor of the motion detector flush toilet and long for the day of the handle I could sanitarily flush with my foot while keeping my face out of the splash zone. The End Can't we file this under First World Problem and just move on? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share #3 Posted July 11, 2018 1 minute ago, Kzoo said: Can't we file this under First World Problem and just move on? I think you're downplaying the significance of my story. A was a real roller coaster ride of a trip to the restroom. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted July 11, 2018 Share #4 Posted July 11, 2018 1 minute ago, Mr. Silly said: I think you're downplaying the significance of my story. A was a real roller coaster ride of a trip to the restroom. Yeah well the story about it wasn't exactly a page turner. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #5 Posted July 11, 2018 3 minutes ago, Kzoo said: Yeah well the story about it wasn't exactly a page turner. No, but it was a crap burner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Page Turner Posted July 11, 2018 Share #6 Posted July 11, 2018 6 minutes ago, Kzoo said: Yeah well the story about it wasn't exactly a page turner. ...of course not. I am a person of refined sensibilities and exemplary decorum. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerrySTL ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #7 Posted July 11, 2018 17 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: I guess I moved slightly because the motion sensor on the flusher thought I was done so it flushed the toilet, soaking my ass in the process. This made me want to die. All the toilet motion sensors at work have toilet paper covering them for this reason. They are way too sensitive. We push the little button to flush - the old-fashion handle would be much easier. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #8 Posted July 11, 2018 3 minutes ago, Page Turner said: ...of course not. I am a person of refined sensibilities and exemplary decorum. <snicker> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share #9 Posted July 11, 2018 5 minutes ago, JerrySTL said: All the toilet motion sensors at work have toilet paper covering them for this reason. They are way too sensitive. We push the little button to flush - the old-fashion handle would be much easier. I want to kick the guy who invented the motion sensor flusher in the nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #10 Posted July 11, 2018 42 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: I want to kick the guy who invented the motion sensor flusher in the nuts. Would you feel different if the motion sensor flushed your nuts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #11 Posted July 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Kzoo said: Can't we file this under First World Problem and just move on? I think this may be a parody. Perhaps you should toss it into the parody meter and hit the make up a score button? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerrySTL ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #12 Posted July 11, 2018 This post got me thinking. I've been to some rest stops on the Interstates where most everything is automated. When you sit up from the toilet, it flushes (if not beforehand). You then put your hands in a receptacle in the wall and soap comes out followed by water. A minute or so later, the hand dryer comes on. What could they automate next? Auto wiping would freak me out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #13 Posted July 11, 2018 10 minutes ago, JerrySTL said: This post got me thinking. I've been to some rest stops on the Interstates where most everything is automated. When you sit up from the toilet, it flushes (if not beforehand). You then put your hands in a receptacle in the wall and soap comes out followed by water. A minute or so later, the hand dryer comes on. What could they automate next? Auto wiping would freak me out. I went in one where there was this hole in the stall wall.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted July 11, 2018 Share #14 Posted July 11, 2018 43 minutes ago, jsharr said: I think this may be a parody. Perhaps you should toss it into the parody meter and hit the make up a score button? I did. All I got was crap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #15 Posted July 11, 2018 Just now, Kzoo said: I did. All I got was crap. did the parody meter flush it on it's own? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted July 11, 2018 Share #16 Posted July 11, 2018 Yup. Until it I didn’t know it had an auto flush mode, huh? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrapr ★ Posted July 11, 2018 Share #17 Posted July 11, 2018 1 hour ago, jsharr said: I went in one where there was this hole in the stall wall.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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