Kzoo Posted August 8, 2018 Share #1 Posted August 8, 2018 Let me set this up. There are 2 trout streams on my 1.9 acres of land. One that runs through our side yard and a larger one that runs across the back of the property in the woods. The back one is fairly large (maybe averaging 12 ft across in most sections there). We have a nice manicured walk to the stream in the back from our back yard. WoKzoo had a question for me last night. A co-worker of hers unexpectedly lost their daughter at Christmas time last year. They had the body cremated and asked if they could come early Saturday evening and access the stream from our property to spread her ashes in the stream. WoKzoo was a bit skeptical about it. I have no issue with it. What would you say? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickinMD ★ Posted August 8, 2018 Share #2 Posted August 8, 2018 They might, in the future, consider the site of the ash scattering their memorial site to their daughter. So I'd suggest to them another body of water unless you'd have no problem with that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted August 8, 2018 Share #3 Posted August 8, 2018 The trout won’t eat ashes, they should have just ground her up and fed her to the fishies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted August 8, 2018 Share #4 Posted August 8, 2018 17 minutes ago, Longjohn said: The trout won’t eat ashes, they should have just ground her up and fed her to the fishies. ? 56 minutes ago, MickinMD said: They might, in the future, consider the site of the ash scattering their memorial site to their daughter. So I'd suggest to them another body of water unless you'd have no problem with that. Or maybe they were looking at it from the daughters perspective and it was an idilic place for her to rest? If it were my land I wouldn't have an issue with it. Oh hey can I come by with my fly rod!?!? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted August 8, 2018 Share #5 Posted August 8, 2018 I would be OK with it. But the memorial aspect is something to consider. You're OK with them 'visiting' their daughter, but should you sell the property they might lose that access 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted August 8, 2018 Share #6 Posted August 8, 2018 Can I be dumped there too? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Page Turner Posted August 9, 2018 Share #7 Posted August 9, 2018 ...most people who choose a stream or river,do so with the idea that the ashes of their departed will be further scattered downstream and eventually end up in the ocean. At least, that's my understanding. So I'm not sure about the people wanting visitation rights as some sort of memorial. Have you asked them ? That might be most direct in getting an answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groupw Posted August 9, 2018 Share #8 Posted August 9, 2018 We have pre-arranged my dad’s funeral. When he started dialysis, we wanted to be ready for everything. Dad has chosen cremation. The funeral home let us know that technically, cremains are considered hazardous material. There are only a couple shipping companies that will transport them. They said if we want to spread them somewhere, they don’t want to know about it. If your friends have been told the same, they may be hesitant to spread them in public view. I would let them. We are talking about dividing the ashes to spread Dad’s at some of his favorite places. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted August 9, 2018 Share #9 Posted August 9, 2018 I would feel a little uncomfortable about it (for no specific reason that I can name), but I doubt I'd have the heart to tell them no under the circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #10 Posted August 9, 2018 Had the son of a resident carry "mom" around in a little metal urn/ball in his pocket...all the time..even brought her to the closing of her unit when the sold it... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted August 9, 2018 Share #11 Posted August 9, 2018 Why the hell not? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudge ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #12 Posted August 9, 2018 My first thought was Sure. But Mick had a good point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #13 Posted August 9, 2018 Let 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #14 Posted August 9, 2018 An odd request if it had no connection to the person, but certainly one I would have no problem honoring. We spread my granddad's ashes in the Atlantic Ocean, and that was a nice memory. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #15 Posted August 9, 2018 I can see both sides. Doing something nice for someone who is grieving would be wonderful, but the down side of it becoming a shrine, a pilgrimage, etc exists. Case in point. There is a park ench in our neighborhood that faces out onto a street where I assume a fatal accident occurred. There is a broken tree on the median that has a cross and wreath by it and the bench is often adorned with flowers, a wreath, candles, etc. I have never seen the mourner but it is obvious that someone is grieving and visiting the site, even years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Posted August 9, 2018 Share #16 Posted August 9, 2018 I'm another one that initially thought sure, but then the memorial idea would have me saying no. If you ask me, there are far to many of these makeshift memorials. I'm not a fan of them, obviously this is slightly different as it's not the place they died, but I don't understand wanting to remember the exact place someone died and even the nicest, ones (some way to elaborate) with in a decade I've seen become dilapidated eye sores but people are hesitant to take them down and risk offending someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share #17 Posted August 9, 2018 We have told them yes. I don't know this family. The only connection is that WoKzoo has worked with the lady for a few years. I don't think there will be a memorial issue. They can access the same place by parking beside the road just down from our drive and walking 70 feet down stream. Going through our back yard is much more convenient. I have no problems with them doing it. WoKzoo thinks it's a but creepy when she thinks about taking the grandskids in the stream on a hot day to kick around in the water. It's a fast moving stream. The ashes will be washed down stream and most will be in the Kalamazoo river within an hour or so. I have no idea if the young lady has connection to the stream. Maybe she enjoyed trout fishing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #18 Posted August 9, 2018 Will it spoil the fishing? It actually wouldn't bother me if kept quiet and a one time thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share #19 Posted August 9, 2018 8 minutes ago, Wilbur said: Will it spoil the fishing? It actually wouldn't bother me if kept quiet and a one time thing. No and it is also legal as in the state of Michigan human ashes are not considered hazardous. They can be spread on private land with permission and in waterways. I would have an issue if it was me and I tossed her ashes in the stream and as I watched them float down stream a brown trout came up and eat some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 9, 2018 Share #20 Posted August 9, 2018 I have been involved in ash spreading twice. Once, to lay to rest Danny, an Irish setter who was part of the crew on a boat that I sailed on. Sunset sail with Oh Danny Boy playing on the stereo. Second time was spreading the ashed of my grandfather over the grave of my grand mother in Corpus Christi. It was a windy day and they ended up blowing back on Martha and I as my father spread them. Not the best of days that one. Very long day and it was an emotional ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted August 9, 2018 Share #21 Posted August 9, 2018 Good call Kzoo. I have been involved in 3 ash spreadings in public areas, and none of them did it turn into a shrine. In each case they did the spreading so that their loved one would be everywhere, as opposed to one set place to return to. Just make sure they only dump the ashes. I was diving near Salt Lake City one time and found a whole urn in the lake, ashes still inside. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted August 10, 2018 Share #22 Posted August 10, 2018 7 hours ago, Zephyr said: Just make sure they only dump the ashes. I was diving near Salt Lake City one time and found a whole urn in the lake, ashes still inside. Talk aboot "you're doing it wrong"! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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