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At the bar, waiting for a date, and already an altercation


Randomguy

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People are horrible. 

So I come in the place, and find two seats at the bar.   A woman comes in behind me and asks if she can have the seat next to me, the one my date would sit in.  I say”sorry”, thinking that would be that. 

She says “I have people I am meeting here”. I say “so do I, and I got here first”. 

She takes an attitude and says “I have more than one”. I pretend to think about it a second, then say “You know what?  I don’t care”.

Bitchy look on her face, as if that would somehow change my mind. I started laughing and shook my head “no”.  

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3 hours ago, shootingstar said:

 

And then date wasn't your thing.  

Well, the hardware was totally different then, actually simpler. ;)  

The hardware is all the same, nothing has changed. 

I just left the date.  We argued a fair bit, and I told her she was wrong pretty regularly.  At the end, she said a couple of times “you have my number, right?”

I don’t understand women. 

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3 hours ago, shootingstar said:

Unfortunate that woman patron was so rude.

And then date wasn't your thing.  

Hmmmmm…. you know I met my dearie...at an evening computer class.  Well, the hardware was totally different then, actually simpler. ;)  

If your future husband had the hardware and you had the software, I'm thinking the interface was magical.

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5 hours ago, Anal Fissure said:

People are horrible. 

So I come in the place, and find two seats at the bar.   A woman comes in behind me and asks if she can have the seat next to me, the one my date would sit in.  I say”sorry”, thinking that would be that. 

She says “I have people I am meeting here”. I say “so do I, and I got here first”. 

She takes an attitude and says “I have more than one”. I pretend to think about it a second, then say “You know what?  I don’t care”.

Bitchy look on her face, as if that would somehow change my mind. I started laughing and shook my head “no”.  

 

5 hours ago, Anal Fissure said:

Nope, just an entitled bitch. 

I actually typed that up more than an hour ago, but the date showed up before I finished it.  I don’t like my date. 

 

1 hour ago, Anal Fissure said:

I definitely didn’t like her at all!

 

1 hour ago, Anal Fissure said:

The hardware is all the same, nothing has changed. 

I just left the date.  We argued a fair bit, and I told her she was wrong pretty regularly.  At the end, she said a couple of times “you have my number, right?”

I don’t understand women. 

 

 

 

 

...I hate to sound all braggy, but BITD, I would have banged your date and gotten a phone number from the bitchy woman, who I would have tried to bang on my way home afterwards. I think you're just not horny enough yet. You still seem to be troubled by principles and some idea that somehow, if we talk long enough, we'll all get along.  Just shut your mouth, smile a lot, and go in for the kill, man.

 

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5 hours ago, Page Turner said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...I hate to sound all braggy, but BITD, I would have banged your date and gotten a phone number from the bitchy woman, who I would have tried to bang on my way home afterwards. I think you're just not horny enough yet. You still seem to be troubled by principles and some idea that somehow, if we talk long enough, we'll all get along.  Just shut your mouth, smile a lot, and go in for the kill, man.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again.......that man has no ambition.

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5 hours ago, Page Turner said:

"...talk less and smile more if you want to get laid."   

from Page Turner's Advice for Dating, sold online and in fine bookstores nationwide .

This is good advice.  

I would be in a different mode if I just wanted to get laid.  I think this is getting in the way of getting laid.  

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18 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

RG you are trying too hard. Somehow the woman for you, is somewhere in your neighbourhood.  Need to ease off and not even think about dating. Then it may happen.

This is great advice if you're a woman.  Every time I tried this approach -- nothing ever happened.  If you're a man and not pursuing, you're going to be lonely.

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31 minutes ago, Dottles said:

This is great advice if you're a woman.  Every time I tried this approach -- nothing ever happened.  If you're a man and not pursuing, you're going to be lonely.

You may be right. Most men don't chat up well with a woman in passing...I mean with a woman which they haven't "targeted" in advance, with a pre-idea.  Or a guy talks too much on the lst round and the woman thinks the guy is nice but abit strange.  It's tough.

Sister 3- met her hubby after they spotted each other in fitness room after work ….at a university campus.

Sister 6- met her hubby via a running club group. They each probably were in regular running groups in same neighbourhood.

Niece- lived in the same shared co-ed house with a bunch of people during university.  She and hubby at the time didn't even pay attention to each other for a yr. 'though they lived in same house.   Then something happened which resulted in a long distance relationship for a yr later,....before they came together in person. 

Maybe RG should join up occasionally in a private cooking group class that some restaurants /breweries/butcher shops organize.  This is bring your own booze and the restaurant is closed off to public.  People pay in advance for a 4-5 courses.  Meet up and chat with a bunch of others. More intimate but not as intimidating /embarrassing for 1-to-1 meet-ups. My partner's son organizes such private meals at his butcher shop in Toronto.  He also provides paid meat cutting classes and um....sausage making classes.  People learn to cut pieces of meat, make sausages and take the goods home too.

Dearie told me just recently of a woman cyclist who clearly was after him...just after he and ex separated. But before he met me.  I was a little surprised to know of the woman....who I didn't expect to be so blatantly a chaser. So I hear of this story for the lst time...after he and I have been together for last 26 yrs.  Good thing he was in divorce shock and thinking of his children, at that time he didn't pick up on her offer.

Anyway he and I met a yr. later..sitting in a high school classroom in the evening.

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24 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

You may be right. Most men don't chat up well with a woman in passing...I mean with a woman which they haven't "targeted" in advance, with a pre-idea.  Or a guy talks too much on the lst round and the woman thinks the guy is nice but abit strange.  It's tough.

Sister 3- met her hubby after they spotted each other in fitness room after work ….at a university campus.

Sister 6- met her hubby via a running club group. They each probably were in regular running groups in same neighbourhood.

Niece- lived in the same shared co-ed house with a bunch of people during university.  She and hubby at the time didn't even pay attention to each other for a yr. 'though they lived in same house.   Then something happened which resulted in a long distance relationship for a yr later,....before they came together in person. 

Maybe RG should join up occasionally in a private cooking group class that some restaurants /breweries/butcher shops organize.  This is bring your own booze and the restaurant is closed off to public.  People pay in advance for a 4-5 courses.  Meet up and chat with a bunch of others. More intimate but not as intimidating /embarrassing for 1-to-1 meet-ups. My partner's son organizes such private meals at his butcher shop in Toronto.  He also provides paid meat cutting classes and um....sausage making classes.  People learn to cut pieces of meat, make sausages and take the goods home too.

Dearie told me just recently of a woman cyclist who clearly was after him...just after he and ex separated. But before he met me.  I was a little surprised to know of the woman....who I didn't expect to be so blatantly a chaser. So I hear of this story for the lst time...after he and I have been together for last 26 yrs.  Good thing he was in divorce shock and thinking of his children, at that time he didn't pick up on her offer.

Anyway he and I met a yr. later..sitting in a high school classroom in the evening.

 

Agreed.  What I found is that just pursuing alone couldn't be the only goal.  It's too obvious, too awkward, and too creepy.  There had to be an activity that both parties had an interest in so the focus was not on 'securing a partner' but rather on the activity itself -- even if the activity and the opportunity of meet the 'other' were held equally high.  Putting myself into a common interest urn with a number of similar minded females flinging around me meant far better odds that there would be a quality collision.

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30 minutes ago, Dottles said:

 

Agreed.  What I found is that just pursuing alone couldn't be the only goal.  It's too obvious, too awkward, and too creepy.  There had to be an activity that both parties had an interest in so the focus was not on 'securing a partner' but rather on the activity itself -- even if the activity and the opportunity of meet the 'other' were held equally high.

Agree.  If 'meeting' becomes fruitless, then if one's interest in activity is for real and it's a real learning experience, then less is lost.  Admittedly I did take evening art classes and did not at all, consider meeting anyone. So nothing happened...before  I met him.  Looking back, I don't recall anyone "eligible" to me.

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1 minute ago, shootingstar said:

Agree.  If 'meeting' becomes fruitless, then if one's interest in activity is for real and it's a real learning experience, then less is lost.  Admittedly I did take evening art classes and did not at all, consider meeting anyone. So nothing happened...before  I met him.  Looking back, I don't recall anyone "eligible" to me.

There is an excitement that comes along with being single.  The options seem limitless and nothing like making that connection with someone.  Perhaps one of the most exciting, memorable things out there.  Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to have that freedom, but almost immediately I recall the long, lonely nights.  The struggles to learn to be happy living alone with oneself.  The struggles of trying to be connected with those around me.  The struggles to be 'in the game' and wasting time and money trying to meet somebody special.  Making compromises to get one's needs met.  Egad it's a lot of work.  I love being married.  If given a choice, I don't think I'd ever go back.

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I've several female friends..who are still single (and no children).  I know that if the right guy came in their lives, they would eventually ..jump.  These are women who each would not be comfortable at all, be in a bar. It's just not their orientation at all.

They each live productive lives, part of a loving extended family. Each of them are aunts also. Never done drugs, several university educated.  And probably casually looking for someone probably  tolerant of diversity, change in the world but rooted/asking for respect, sharing.... and fidelity.  I'm sorry for saying the latter,  for real from a lot of women.  I don't care for all the jokes about banging and one night stands. It's foreign probably to a lot of women I know personally.  No, I'm not religious.  I guess my female friends and I don't sit around and make raunchy jokes about guys. (Other chick groups maybe different. I actually avoid that sort of talk with other women.)  We're usually too busy catching up on talking about other stuff in life. 

Just having lived a far more duller life I guess.  :) (Though it's been exciting enough with dearie and all.)  In the eyes of some friends initially, to be with a partner who is divorced with children, was a radical departure and surprise because that's not what they expected of me.

However the single women I know, just continue on with life...because they each have to, they need to continue since life offers a great deal ahead.

 

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37 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

I've several female friends..who are still single (and no children).  I know that if the right guy came in their lives, they would eventually ..jump.  These are women who each would not be comfortable at all, be in a bar. It's just not their orientation at all.

They each live productive lives, part of a loving extended family. Each of them are aunts also. Never done drugs, several university educated.  And probably casually looking for someone probably  tolerant of diversity, change in the world but rooted/asking for respect, sharing.... and fidelity.  I'm sorry for saying the latter,  for real from a lot of women.  I don't care for all the jokes about banging and one night stands. It's foreign probably to a lot of women I know personally.  No, I'm not religious.  I guess my female friends and I don't sit around and make raunchy jokes about guys. (Other chick groups maybe different. I actually avoid that sort of talk with other women.)  We're usually too busy catching up on talking about other stuff in life. 

Just having lived a far more duller life I guess.  :) (Though it's been exciting enough with dearie and all.)  In the eyes of some friends initially, to be with a partner who is divorced with children, was a radical departure and surprise because that's not what they expected of me.

However the single women I know, just continue on with life...because they each have to, they need to continue since life offers a great deal ahead.

 

...I met my current partner (20 or so years ago) at a Tai Chi workshop taught by Al Huang, who was previously a close associate of Alan Watts ( who apparently nobody reads any more. :( ). We did not share spaghetti, but I offered her half my brown bag lunch sandwich.  :)  I find that most women respond well to someone who is willing to feed them.  Most men, too.

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1 hour ago, Dottles said:

 Think of us as a private book showing club.

...to quote Amorosa,  "It's all in the book, Chuck.  If you want to see it, buy the book."

Or to quote Anne Coulter, "The left's logic deficit is a topic I explore thoroughly in my book. Buy it and prepare to have your blood run hot."

OTOH, Schopenhauer is purported to have written: “Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them; but as a rule the purchase of books is mistaken for the appropriation of their contents.”

 

So I don't know what to tell you.

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4 hours ago, Zephyr said:

This part could be it's own thread.  I sense so good stories among this crowd and yet likely zero usable Intel for RG

OK here is some good advice.  Enlist in the military or become a cop.  I know I'm not the best looking guy around but a young fit dude in uniform seems to draw the ladies in like moths to a flame.  Cmon Zephyr you know it's true too. ?

I had a fair amount of girls ask me out on duty and not all that many off duty.  But the one that stuck I met off duty.

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18 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

OK here is some good advice.  Enlist in the military or become a cop.  I know I'm not the best looking guy around but a young fit dude in uniform seems to draw the ladies in like moths to a flame.  Cmon Zephyr you know it's true too. ?

I had a fair amount of girls ask me out on duty and not all that many off duty.  But the one that stuck I met off duty.

Or be a firefighter like Page was.. well, he met her at tai chi.  

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2 hours ago, shootingstar said:

Or be a firefighter like Page was.. well, he met her at tai chi.  

...all those women who fall for the uniform only see you as a sex object. :(  nttawwt 

But it only gets you so far.  Then one morning you wake up and want to talk about something, and you find out she's never read Alan Watts.:(

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On 8/19/2018 at 12:07 AM, Anal Fissure said:

The hardware is all the same, nothing has changed. 

I just left the date.  We argued a fair bit, and I told her she was wrong pretty regularly.  At the end, she said a couple of times “you have my number, right?”

I don’t understand women. 

I don't know if it applies to your date, but a lot of women will put up with a lot of arguing in return for security.

I used to frequent a bar where I was amazed how consistently I was hit on by women and told my friends.

One, a woman, said, "The women in that bar should have "HH" branded on their foreheads."

I asked, "HH?" and was told something like, "Husband hunter. They didn't see a ring on your left hand. That bar attracts a lot of those who are single -especially those with kids - and having trouble making ends meet."

Now that I'm retired, at Senior Centers there are a lot of women who, thanks to our shamefully limited Medicare, have problems or are unable to afford prescriptions and look for men like myself who have excellent insurance through a pension where adding a new spouse instantly is no problem.

Such women will put up with a lot of argument in return for security. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with their attitude - they're in a tough situation.

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2 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

I don't know if it applies to your date, but a lot of women will put up with a lot of arguing in return for security.

I used to frequent a bar where I was amazed how consistently I was hit on by women and told my friends.

One, a woman, said, "The women in that bar should have "HH" branded on their foreheads."

I asked, "HH?" and was told something like, "Husband hunter. They didn't see a ring on your left hand. That bar attracts a lot of those who are single -especially those with kids - and having trouble making ends meet."

Now that I'm retired, at Senior Centers there are a lot of women who, thanks to our shamefully limited Medicare, have problems or are unable to afford prescriptions and look for men like myself who have excellent insurance through a pension where adding a new spouse instantly is no problem.

Such women will put up with a lot of argument in return for security.

So whatcha waiting for!?!?!? ?

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