Kirby Posted August 23, 2018 Share #1 Posted August 23, 2018 I had an early morning doctor's appointment today. Even though it's only a checkup, it made me apprehensive. I left extra early because the office is near a school and sometimes there are delays due to school buses or summer campers. There was a lot of traffic on the highway, so I was glad I left early. I got there well before my appointment which made me feel very organized. While I was there, someone came in without an appointment but saying very loudly that she had an emergency. This made the office people very flustered. Eventually the nurse came out and took the woman into the office, so the waiting room didn't hear any more about the drama. This was very anti-climactic for everyone in the waiting room. My checkup was uneventful which made me feel relieved. After my appointment, I stopped at a bagel store near the doctor's office. When I have to go to the doctor's office, I like to treat myself to an indulgent breakfast after the appointment. Looking forward to my bagel is the best part of the doctor's visit. I ordered a blizzard bagel toasted and cream cheese and was filled with anticipation and excitement. I got to the office to find a good parking space open up just as I got there which made me feel very lucky. I came into the office and sat down to enjoy my tasty bagel treat, only to find out they had left off the cream cheese and coated the bagel in some greasy thing they called butter. I tried a bagel quarter and it was a big disappointment. It made me feel sad and a little queasy. I threw out the rest of my bagel and started my work day. The End. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 23, 2018 Share #2 Posted August 23, 2018 What's on a Buzzard Bagel? Do the remove the feathers first? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Parr8hed Posted August 23, 2018 Popular Post Share #3 Posted August 23, 2018 Now I will not be able to rest until I find out what the big emergency was. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Popular Post Share #4 Posted August 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Kzoo said: What's on a Buzzard Bagel? Do the remove the feathers first? Blizzard Bagel, you dolt. They mix the bagel into a big cup of ice cream like material and turn it upside down when they had it to you. 1 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Share #5 Posted August 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Parr8hed said: Now I will not be able to rest until I find out what the big emergency was. I am going with prolapsed rectum. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BuffJim Posted August 23, 2018 Popular Post Share #6 Posted August 23, 2018 4 minutes ago, Parr8hed said: Now I will not be able to rest until I find out what the big emergency was. Some Jackass shot themselves in the finger with a nail gun. And couldn't get it out themselves. 2 1 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 23, 2018 Share #7 Posted August 23, 2018 Just now, jsharr said: I am going with prolapsed rectum. Brought on by early onset PRI 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffJim Posted August 23, 2018 Share #8 Posted August 23, 2018 11 minutes ago, Kirby said: I had an early morning doctor's appointment today. Even though it's only a checkup, it made me apprehensive. I left extra early because the office is near a school and sometimes there are delays due to school buses or summer campers. There was a lot of traffic on the highway, so I was glad I left early. I got there well before my appointment which made me feel very organized. While I was there, someone came in without an appointment but saying very loudly that she had an emergency. This made the office people very flustered. Eventually the nurse came out and took the woman into the office, so the waiting room didn't hear any more about the drama. This was very anti-climactic for everyone in the waiting room. My checkup was uneventful which made me feel relieved. After my appointment, I stopped at a bagel store near the doctor's office. When I have to go to the doctor's office, I like to treat myself to an indulgent breakfast after the appointment. Looking forward to my bagel is the best part of the doctor's visit. I ordered a blizzard bagel toasted and cream cheese and was filled with anticipation and excitement. I got to the office to find a good parking space open up just as I got there which made me feel very lucky. I came into the office and sat down to enjoy my tasty bagel treat, only to find out they had left off the cream cheese and coated the bagel in some greasy thing they called butter. I tried a bagel quarter and it was a big disappointment. It made me feel sad and a little queasy. I threw out the rest of my bagel and started my work day. The End. Hi Kirbster, As much as I wish I could say 'I feel your pain, I can't. I didn't have a Dr. Appt. this morning, and my pumpernickel bagel had no dearth of cream cheese. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Share #9 Posted August 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Kzoo said: Brought on by early onset PRI There is never just one poo event. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Share #10 Posted August 23, 2018 Just now, BuffJim said: Hi Kirbster, As much as I wish I could say 'I feel your pain, I can't. I didn't have a Dr. Appt. this morning, and my pumpernickel bagel had no dearth of cream cheese. What the hell are you doing in a prolapsed rectum and bagel thread when Hawaii is about to be wiped off the face of the earth by a hurricane or typhoon or whatever? sheesh. You are almost as bad at being DeathJim as @Kzoo is at rating parodies. Sorry to have to tell you that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 23, 2018 Share #11 Posted August 23, 2018 Just now, jsharr said: There never just one poo event. This might just be the answer to every forum question today. If the shoe fits.... Or in this case, if the shoe stepped in the poo, wear it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Popular Post Share #12 Posted August 23, 2018 4 minutes ago, BuffJim said: Some Jackass shot themselves in the finger with a nail gun. And couldn't get it out themselves. NOMINATED!!!! I seriously just laughed out loud on that one and narrowly missed spraying my monitor with coffee!!!! @Kzoo will drop off your trophy, a certificate suitable for framing and your basket of potato points on his way home from weed eating over at @Zackny's place 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Share #13 Posted August 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Kzoo said: This might just be the answer to every forum question today. If the shoe fits.... Or in this case, if the shoe stepped in the poo, wear it. If the poo shits, bear it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 23, 2018 Share #14 Posted August 23, 2018 1 minute ago, jsharr said: NOMINATED!!!! I seriously just laughed out loud on that one and narrowly missed spraying my monitor with coffee!!!! So did I but I refused to comment back to SlackerJim cause it might distract him from the impending doom in the Pacific. Oh. wait, my bad. SlackerJim doesn't seem to care about the lives of those facing this death storm. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 23, 2018 Share #15 Posted August 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Kzoo said: So did I but I refused to comment back to SlackerJim cause it might distract him from the impending doom in the Pacific. Oh. wait, my bad. SlackerJim doesn't seem to care about the lives of those facing this death storm. The way I see it, DeathJim is laughing in the face of death, from the safety of upstate NY. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 23, 2018 Share #16 Posted August 23, 2018 1 minute ago, jsharr said: The way I see it, DeathJim is laughing in the face of death, from the safety of upstate NY. SlackerJim isn't really in 'upstate' NY. He's in Buffalo which is just down the shore from Cleveland. Please don't confuse Buffalo with the real 'upstate' NY. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted October 4, 2018 Author Share #17 Posted October 4, 2018 I went to the doctor again today, and this time my bagel was just perfect. If my morning is disappointing, it won't be the fault of the bagel shop this time. Plus, since it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the doctor's office gave out nifty notebooks with all sorts of inspiring messages written on them. Definitely an upgrade from my last visit. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #18 Posted October 4, 2018 12 minutes ago, Kirby said: I went to the doctor again today, and this time my bagel was just perfect. If my morning is disappointing, it won't be the fault of the bagel shop this time. Plus, since it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the doctor's office gave out nifty notebooks with all sorts of inspiring messages written on them. Definitely an upgrade from my last visit. So how did you feel about the direction your thread was hijacked? What do you expect from a bunch of junior high boys? i wore out the haha smiley on this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #19 Posted October 4, 2018 I'm glad to hear that Kirby is healthy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #20 Posted October 4, 2018 Any prolapsed rectums or blizzard bagels on this trip? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted October 4, 2018 Author Share #21 Posted October 4, 2018 I ordered an oat bagel this time, so no blizzard bagel. And I expect thread drift at the Cafe. Most threads are a sort of stream (or puddle) of consciousness. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #22 Posted October 4, 2018 10 minutes ago, Kirby said: I ordered an oat bagel this time, so no blizzard bagel. And I expect thread drift at the Cafe. Most threads are a sort of stream (or puddle) of consciousness. My stream is very strong, which surprises me at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #23 Posted October 4, 2018 1 hour ago, jsharr said: My stream is very strong, which surprises me at times. You're in luck. You can save those extra 5 minutes in the morning waiting and waiting and waiting. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #24 Posted October 4, 2018 On 8/23/2018 at 11:30 AM, jsharr said: I am going with prolapsed rectum. Sounds like a cranial/rectum insertion to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #25 Posted October 4, 2018 3 hours ago, Kirby said: it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month That's every month for me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted October 4, 2018 Share #26 Posted October 4, 2018 3 hours ago, jsharr said: My stream is very strong, which surprises me at times. Are you taking Urigro? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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