Indy Posted September 5, 2018 Share #1 Posted September 5, 2018 Well, I finally found out why a long time friend has dropped off the map. She's in the hospital, been there for like 3 weeks now. Daily dialysis and regular blood transfusions. Awesome. She lived right down the road from us before we moved this spring, so we used to see her daily. Used to joke she was my second wife because at time I spent as much time at her house fixing and doing stuff as my own. Had to find out through the round about grape vine. Wife feels really guilty, I keep telling her this has been years coming and we would occasionally comment about her drinking, but nothing we could've done if she didn't want to stop. Sounds like the hospital is just trying to get her healthy enough to go home and then hospice care as they will not consider doing anything unless she's clear of alcohol for six months. Her mother always has a drink too and that is who she will be around all the time, so yeah, slim chance of that happening. From the sounds of things, doubt she even makes it another six months. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #2 Posted September 5, 2018 Them's the rules. You don't get a new kidney till you prove you won't poison it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Posted September 5, 2018 Author Share #3 Posted September 5, 2018 2 minutes ago, maddmaxx said: Them's the rules. You don't get a new kidney till you prove you won't poison it too. Yeap, I got no problem with that either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #4 Posted September 5, 2018 Alcohol is quite insidious. I speak from experience. I gave it up but the old man at 86 continues to drink and I can tell you it isn't a pretty sight. Now me?? I'm just pretty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #5 Posted September 5, 2018 If he lasted to 86 then he must have won the genetic lottery. Most are half brain dead by 50. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-45283401 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #6 Posted September 5, 2018 14 minutes ago, maddmaxx said: If he lasted to 86 then he must have won the genetic lottery. Most are half brain dead by 50. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-45283401 He gets on the bike or treadmill every day for like an hour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #7 Posted September 5, 2018 49 minutes ago, Dottles said: He gets on the bike or treadmill every day for like an hour. To sweat out the poison? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 5, 2018 Share #8 Posted September 5, 2018 3 minutes ago, maddmaxx said: To sweat out the poison? I think so. At his age he has bladder control issues and is too proud to wear Depends. It's not a pretty sight or smell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Posted September 6, 2018 Author Share #9 Posted September 6, 2018 Sorry, need to vent somewhere. Really not doing well with this. It's really kind of sinking in that I'm losing my only actual friend. She's the only person besides my wife I've done anything with. She's my wife's best friend and my only friend. I knew her drinking was bad, but she also hid it often, and no we rarely drank with her. I joke about it, but I probably have a beer a couple times a month, my wife drinks even less often, so we were her good influences as we'd go out and alcohol wasn't involved. My wife has other friends, Shannon was it for me. She's one of the few people that got me and I could be my sarcastic asshole self around. Yeah, I'm not good with this whole "feelings" thing, it sucks. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted September 6, 2018 Share #10 Posted September 6, 2018 2 minutes ago, Indy said: Yeah, I'm not good with this whole "feelings" thing, it sucks. As guys, we're not raised to have feelings, we grunt, punch each other, but never cry together or talk. It's considered weak. It's not though. It only makes you miserable to keep it all inside. Addicts are tough. Had two for parents (both dads), married one (wonder why I didn't see that coming). Probably why I'm so anti-everything. No drugs, no alcohol, no bad foods... I never talk about it either. I don't know you, will likely never meet you, but you seem like a great guy. Go make a new friend or two. It will never be the same as a life-long friend, but they really do help you though tough times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted September 6, 2018 Share #11 Posted September 6, 2018 This is a tough situation because not only are you sad for your friend, you're mad at them too. Very conflicting emotions and it all seems unnecessary. But there are a lot of illnesses that aren't purely physical but are very real. I'm sorry for your friend and sorry that you're going through this. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Posted September 6, 2018 Author Share #12 Posted September 6, 2018 3 minutes ago, Square Wheels said: As guys, we're not raised to have feelings, we grunt, punch each other, but never cry together or talk. It's considered weak. It's not though. It only makes you miserable to keep it all inside. Addicts are tough. Had two for parents (both dads), married one (wonder why I didn't see that coming). Probably why I'm so anti-everything. No drugs, no alcohol, no bad foods... I never talk about it either. I don't know you, will likely never meet you, but you seem like a great guy. Go make a new friend or two. It will never be the same as a life-long friend, but they really do help you though tough times. I got no life long friends, lost touch with all of them around the time my son was born. Seems I was their excuse to get away from their kids, once I had my own, they all disappeared. Then you add in the fact I have bad social anxiety issues, yeah, my wife is good at making friends I just stole one of hers. She doesn't have any others I want to steal. And yes, I tried medication for my anxiety issues, while it helped that, the side effects were worse than the anxiety. But luckily I just happened to be on it when I lost my job last year as it helped getting through that as I'm sure that would've spurred an attack. Yeah, I'm a big ball of fucked up. Ugh, after enough fighting, we are going to go see her in the hospital tomorrow. Her mother was barring anyone from seeing her. Her brother, who I think is a gigantic douche, grew a pair and stood up to her so at least get to go see her now tomorrow. Yeah, I know I'm rambling, my brain is complete swiss cheese this evening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 6, 2018 Share #13 Posted September 6, 2018 Hey, Indy, just don't drink over it. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Page Turner Posted September 6, 2018 Share #14 Posted September 6, 2018 ...some very good people sometimes do self destructive things. I never figured out why. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 6, 2018 Share #15 Posted September 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, Page Turner said: ...some very good people sometimes do self destructive things. I never figured out why. They often don't know themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted September 6, 2018 Share #16 Posted September 6, 2018 Most importantly, do not let drunks drag you down with them. You have a family and a life of your own to live. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted September 6, 2018 Share #17 Posted September 6, 2018 It's a selfish disease. They are circling the drain and all those in the eddy go down with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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