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Isn;t it better to air our grievances regularly instead of saving them all up for Festivus?


Ralphie

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Maybe.  

I have grievances, believe me.  I have regret because I didn't air grievances in the past that I should have, thinking that another person would pick up on things eventually (they never did).  I should have brought out grievances that could have been resolved early on.  On the other hand, sometimes you can sound like a grievance machine if all you do is air grievances to the four winds, and it builds no character if you don't suffer some and learn what is a big grievance and what is a mostly tolerable pain in the ass.

Damned if you do, and also if you don't.

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It's better to air some grievances, quietly hold on to some grievances, and let some grievances die away when "holding a grudge" is likely to reduce your quality of life in the long run.

I know of a daughter who won't talk her mother, an aunt who will have nothing to do with her nephew, a father who wants nothing to do with his children, all for reasons that are relatively trivial compared to the loss of family support and love that becomes very important from time-to-time.  My sister or brother and I are very close, but we can have a heated argument that leaves us red-faced. It's always "forgotten" by the next day and we learn from such arguments what "grievances" it's better to avoid raising with each other.

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