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family drama


KrAzY
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20 minutes ago, BuffJim said:

You don’t need to bother us with all of it, but you could bother us with a bit more. Which family member is facing the nasty C? Forgive me if I  am supposed to remember. 

It is my wife's aunt that we moved to Texas from California a little one a year ago. Everything got dumped on to my wife and me to figure out and this all has been going on a little over a month now. 

We are dealing with finding Dr's, ADA transportation, and possibly becoming power of attorney.. 

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1 hour ago, KrAzY said:

It is my wife's aunt that we moved to Texas from California a little one a year ago. Everything got dumped on to my wife and me to figure out and this all has been going on a little over a month now. 

We are dealing with finding Dr's, ADA transportation, and possibly becoming power of attorney.. 

pretty much what happened to the "Golden Couple" (my brother & his wife) My folks favored them big time. Saw all of their kids games year around. I remember only one Scout meeting for our boy...ever. But brother was selected for POA. Which sucked them into care the last 3 or 4 years. Plus clean out of the family home. SIL would not let us help. We offered several times. 

I wish you well @KrAzY

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1 minute ago, Scrapr said:

pretty much what happened to the "Golden Couple" (my brother & his wife) My folks favored them big time. Saw all of their kids games year around. I remember only one Scout meeting for our boy...ever. But brother was selected for POA. Which sucked them into care the last 3 or 4 years. Plus clean out of the family home. SIL would not let us help. We offered several times. 

Family trust is about ready to be distributed

without getting too deep into details.. I am going KRAZY... been on the phone many many hours the last few days staring things away, and will be surprised with the diagnoses if this goes on more then 7 months to a year. 

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it really is a bunch of work. For medical care that is why I like Kaiser. All in one. Finding providers one by one would drive me nuts right now. It's about a full time job. My SIL had 3 binders for Mom & Dad each. The Memory care guy asked for medical records. She pulls out a bag with the full medical records. Guy's jaw dropped. LOL

To be fair when Mom & Dad moved to assisted living, then Memory care we all came together & toured the facilities and decided together

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4 minutes ago, Scrapr said:

it really is a bunch of work. For medical care that is why I like Kaiser. All in one. Finding providers one by one would drive me nuts right now. It's about a full time job. My SIL had 3 binders for Mom & Dad each. The Memory care guy asked for medical records. She pulls out a bag with the full medical records. Guy's jaw dropped. LOL

To be fair when Mom & Dad moved to assisted living, then Memory care we all came together & toured the facilities and decided together

my biggest issue right now is transportation.. not many people will or can transport a person in a wheelchair. 
The county she lives in has the DCTA, but it will take 30-40 days after the paperwork is filled out for them to approve the application to transport her if the team it needed, one taxi company will transport her from her house to the Dr's and back but they want $85 round trip.. the milage is only 18 miles round trip max. another company that will transport her both ways refuse to do it because she falls within the DCTA area, and we are back to the 30-40 day weight. 
She does however own her own ADA van and can transport herself, but when she moved to TX she never got a new title or registration for it so it is now 1 year and a month expired.  I had the vehicle picked up by AAA to take to a repair shop to see if it can be fixed to pass inspection. 
While all this is going on, Her Dr wants to see her in a few days to figure out when chemo will start. not including on us trying to find a lower to do the POA and everything else out. 
 

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Sending you and your family hugs Krazy...some states are better for this kind of care than others...and I'm not sure you are in the right one :whistle:  SOme communities and counties also have more things in place for seniors...

The thing I learned with my aunt is...there are no guidelines...and each county is different...let alone each state....

Good Luck

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5 hours ago, petitepedal said:

some states are better for this kind of care than others...

While this is true, as you know, there are Medicare requirements that care providers have to follow.  One of the tricks is to know the regulations.  Many communities have organizations or Senior Services that can help.  NEVER fail to use them.

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3 hours ago, Kzoo said:

While this is true, as you know, there are Medicare requirements that care providers have to follow.  One of the tricks is to know the regulations.  Many communities have organizations or Senior Services that can help.  NEVER fail to use them.

Medicare is weird here... She gets too much from her retirement to be on wither one. If she was they would dock her check, and then she could not live or afford anywhere to live because of the amount they leave you with. I even looked at companies that would feed her for low cost, and such, but it is not going to happen. for now we are just working on one thing at a time.. 

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10 minutes ago, KrAzY said:

Medicare is weird here... She gets too much from her retirement to be on wither one. If she was they would dock her check, and then she could not live or afford anywhere to live because of the amount they leave you with. I even looked at companies that would feed her for low cost, and such, but it is not going to happen. for now we are just working on one thing at a time.. 

Have you checked in with someplace like this North Central Texas Aging and Disability Resource Center (NCTADRC) of Collin County

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23 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

Yes I have, and then they gave me a name and number of someone in our county that can help. For now they can not until I take over full control with her finances. 
Since she is still in sound mind, I can not do anything until she either gets diagnosed with impairment or give up her rights to me and the wife. 

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