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Movie review: Mary Poppins is utter garbage


Randomguy

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4 minutes ago, KrAzY said:

So it was utter garbage, and not completely trash. Did they recycle any of the old movie for this one?

I don't remember much from the first movie, but definitely throwing chunks of nostalgia in.  

The reviews were mixed, either totally terrible or totally wonderful.  I wonder what the "wonderful" reviewers were taking, because that stuff surely cures all.

Keep in mind that when I am at a kids movie, my expectations go away, and I am cool with the movie if RO is happy with it.  This was something so bad, though, a different kind of beast, and weirdly so.

So you had good talent involved in this on all levels and there is the whole pedigree thing, so I will try to explain.

*****The spoilers start now, btw, turn back now if don't want to know anything.

The whole look of the movie is apocalyptic grey, always washed out and/or wet.  Fine, they are supposed to be in London, but this was end of the world grey, and in every scene.  The kids were fine actors, but didn't have much to work with in terms of dialog.  The adult's lines were simply vapid, there was little character development and it was all one-note.  The evil banker, the poorly functioning father with unexplained dead wife/mother.  The father's sister.  All sickly sweet.

Mary Poppins herself was basically sterile, and it was impossible to see any joy in her.  What was her motivation?  She seemed to enjoy nothing about life or take any satisfaction in anything.  

There is a lamplighter in every scene almost, also vapid.  He sings and dances, and I suppose he helps do certain things, but he could have been written out and it wouldn't change much.  He, like MP, knows everyone in London.

High production values, but everything thing seemed way overwrought, and they tried to make everything just super magical in a very forced way.  The songs didn't suck, but I don't remember anything from them, and they are way too long.  Many stem from abstract tangents that have nothing to do with the plot, and you just have to wonder "why?"

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW

Then at the end, they really forced some really stupid shit.  They had to get to the bank to save the family house before midnight, or the evil banker takes the house.  They find something that will save the house, but all agree that it will take too long to drive there and deliver this in time, your classic race against the clock that is mathmatically determined by all that there is no way to win "unless MP can turn back time", to which she implies knowingly that she can.  She tells the family to go towards the bank and she will take care of the time aspect.  Her solution?  Having an army of lamplighters bicycle there faster than the family in the motorized vehicle, climb Big Ben and stop the clock so the stroke of midnight doesn't happen.  Geez.

Anyway, it is ok for kids without the learned ability to tell quality from crap and alzheimer patients who just go along with anything.  Otherwise, the movie is a big tedious nothing.  There should be a better result from all the obvious talent working on the project, but it came out all uninspired and bleh.  I suggest you not reward this kind of crap with views.  If it wasn't cold and wet and a holiday, I would have chosen different activities.

Anyway, the whole thing was tedious after a very short while.  Things just happened, and you weren't meant to think in any way.  There was no nuance to offer anyone with a lively mind, the plot itself was thin, Mary Poppins was bleh, songs and dances completely forgettable.  This was a 15 minute short stretched to over two hours.  

It will make money because it has ties to a past movie, it is aimed at kids and people who have no minds at, and it came out at the holiday where people try to entertain kids who aren't used to entertaining kids for long periods (visiting relatives and parents suddenly having their kids for way extended periods of time and running out of things to do).

 

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This past week, I looked at the reviews of a lot of 2017-18 movies I haven't seen and decided to pass on the new Mary Poppins movie.

I have, or will get when available, these 2017-18 movies based on interests + reviews: Wonder Woman (2017), First Man (about Neil Armstrong, 2018), Aquaman (2018), Fantastic Beasts: the Crimes of Grindelwald (about Harry Potter's Dumbledore, 2018), Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018), Blade Runner 2049 (2017) Blade Runner (1982), Darkest Hour (about Churchill, 2017), Despicable Me 3, Coco (2017), and Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017).

For a stocking-stuffer-type present to the extended family, I put together a ton of photos and videos from our 2018 summer vacation to Deep Creek Lake and 2017 Caribbean Cruise on USB stick drives and filled each one up with the movies above and also these I liked a lot: Despicable Me 1 & 2, Jumanji (1995). Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017), Amadeus: Director's Cut (1984), Avatar (2009), Mila Kunis movies: Friends With Benefits (2011) and Bad Moms (2016), Blazing Saddles (1974), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Gandhi (1982), Jennifer Lawrence Movies: Hunger Games Complete and Silver Linings Playbook (2013), National Treasure 1 & 2, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Scary Movie 1-5, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-4, The Martian (Matt Damon 2015), The Notebook (excellent tear-jerker! 2004), the complete Jurassic movies, and many more.

 

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I am not sure I would ever want to watch this new Mary Poppins with a kid.  But kids rule in their choice... I guess.

Well, think: Would anyone redo " The Sound of Music", movie and find someone that replaces Julie Andrews in her characterization and ...vocal/singing ability.  It was made in a particular era..only less than 25 yrs. when Nazi Germany fell. That movie was probably popular for children and some adults because it wasn't too long ago from WWII.

 

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1 minute ago, shootingstar said:

I am not sure I would ever want to watch this new Mary Poppins with a kid.  But kids rule in their choice... I guess.

Well, think: Would anyone redo " The Sound of Music", movie and find someone that replaces Julie Andrews in her characterization and ...vocal/singing ability.  It was made in a particular era..only less than 25 yrs. when Nazi Germany fell. That movie was probably popular for children and some adults because it wasn't too long ago from WWII.

 

I would agree that trying to replace Julie Andrew in anything is unwise.

SOM was also a horrible movie, btw, I have mentioned that here before.  At least you had scenery and a few good songs, though, so there is that.

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3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I would agree that trying to replace Julie Andrew in anything is unwise.

SOM was also a horrible movie, btw, I have mentioned that here before.  At least you had scenery and a few good songs, though, so there is that.

Dearie's mother loved the movie and songs.  Her fav was "Edelweiss". So I started to see the movie from her perspective.....her life before WWII and before Nazis controlled their lives. 

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3 minutes ago, Kirby said:

I tolerated the original because even though it wasn't true to the books it had its own charm and heart.

I have read that the author hated the first version and wouldn't allow Disney near her again while she lived.  She sounds cool and feisty and opinionated in all the good ways.

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I have always found kids movies need a little help to make it more enjoyable for me.. pot helps a lot as long as I ha e a large Coke and a big bucket of popcorn. 

I'm really looking forward a little pot and the Pokemon movie. 

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  • 5 months later...
On 12/25/2018 at 12:58 PM, Randomguy said:

I have read that the author hated the first version and wouldn't allow Disney near her again while she lived.  She sounds cool and feisty and opinionated in all the good ways.

They made a movie, Saving Mr Banks, about the process of making the movie and PL Travers's reaction to the Disney version. I haven't seen it, but it got good reviews.

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