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The story of my trip to Red Robin


AirwickWithCheese

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9 minutes ago, BuffJim said:

My daughter works at Red Robin. I hope you were generous with the waitstaff.

23%. I considered this overly generous and thoughtful considering she had defiled her body with a tattoo.  

No love in the air. Perhaps deep mutual appreciation for nice hairstyles but I feel beholding to Kirby until she informs me otherwise. 

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How did the waitress respond to the $1.27 tip on the the 28.72 bill?

I would have gone with a yellow and sky blue argyle sock to show my devil may care attitude and to get my socks to match my shirt.

The charred burger left me feeling disgusted, reviled and revolted.  Everyone knows that a burger is medium to medium well, with American cheese, iceberg lettuce, diced purple onions, hamburger sliced dill pickles and a generous amount of Frenchs yellow mustard.

I am still debating whether or not I can see past this and give your thread a like.

Also, can you give us a few more physical descriptors of your "date" such as bust size?  Asking for a friend.

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1 minute ago, jsharr said:

How did the waitress respond to the $1.27 tip on the the 28.72 bill?

I would have gone with a yellow and sky blue argyle sock to show my devil may care attitude and to get my socks to match my shirt.

The charred burger left me feeling disgusted, reviled and revolted.  Everyone knows that a burger is medium to medium well, with American cheese, iceberg lettuce, diced purple onions, hamburger sliced dill pickles and a generous amount of Frenchs yellow mustard.

I am still debating whether or not I can see past this and give your thread a like.

Also, can you give us a few more physical descriptors of your "date" such as bust size?  Asking for a friend.

You will like my thread without further hesitation. She is an attractive sort, Jewish, I do not factor in bust size as I am a gentleman. 

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2 minutes ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

You will like my thread without further hesitation. She is an attractive sort, Jewish, I do not factor in bust size as I am a gentleman. 

Even gentlemen have preferences as to bust, derriere, or legs.    I can respect that you did not factor this in, but you still noticed.

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Your orders of overcooked burgers have inspired great disappointment in each other (plus the requisite self-loathing), and you consequently put each other in the 'holiday greeting card' zone right away.  

You need to take her out again and order her a cheeseburger, medium rare, with a runny egg on top, and a lusty alcohol-infused beverage to drink.  Tell her that her eyes are not lifeless from her recent divorce, and there is a glimmer in there that only you can spark.

Then tell her you are going to deliver a movie star kiss, and there is a distinct possibility she may melt somewhat.  Explain that this often happens when vulnerable women kiss you.  You have to deliver at this point, she has waited all her life for this moment with you.

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1 minute ago, Randomguy said:

Your orders of overcooked burgers have inspired great disappointment in each other (plus the requisite self-loathing), and you consequently put each other in the 'holiday greeting card' zone right away.  

You need to take her out again and order her a cheeseburger, medium rare, with a runny egg on top, and a lusty alcohol-infused beverage to drink.  Tell her that her eyes are not lifeless, and there is a glimmer in there that only you can spark.

Then tell her you are going to deliver a movie star kiss, and there is a distinct possibility she may melt somewhat.  Explain that this often happens when vulnerable women kiss you.  You have to deliver at this point, she has waited all her life for this moment with you.

No. I want to date her daughter like bikeman will eventually do. 

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I laughed, I cried. For that I gave you a like. But I was a little disappointed that (and this is the important plot twist that everyone knows will happen) there was no misunderstanding that led to one of you crying and leaving. Only to later come to your senses, and chase one or the other down at the airport to kiss and make up. 

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9 hours ago, team scooter said:

I laughed, I cried. For that I gave you a like. But I was a little disappointed that (and this is the important plot twist that everyone knows will happen) there was no misunderstanding that led to one of you crying and leaving. Only to later come to your senses, and chase one or the other down at the airport to kiss and make up. 

A car chase would have been better. 

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14 hours ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

Last Tuesday, a friend asked me to meet her for lunch at Red Robin. This friend is recent divorcee so this made me feel nervous and apprehensive. 

I showered with my new Dove extra fresh body wash that was part of my Christmas stocking from MomCheese. This left me feeling refreshed, invigorated, but sad that I would be paying for lunch at Red Robin instead of freeloading from Mom. 

It's was raining which seemed to heighten my pleasant lemon scented starched blue oxford. I wore Bass loafers with yellow socks which made me feel I was conveying an attitude of, shouldn't lunch be dutch? and I do not kiss on the first date. 

My friend had her hair in a layered bob haircut which eroused me somewhat but I found her skirt and blouse less conservative than I would prefer. 

Our waitress asked for our drink selections.

I allowed my friend date to order first and she ordered the raspberry lemonade. This made me feel relieved and appreciative since I had noticed the placard advertising 99 cent all you can drink raspberry lemonade. I ordered Mr. Pibb but had to settle for Dr. Pepper since our nice waitress said Red Robin no longer carried Mr. Pibb. This left me frustrated and angry but I did my best to hide my emotions with pleasant small talk and banter. 

She ordered some type of pineapple burger medium well. I find this repulsive but I continued to smile as I listened intently trying to discern her intentions. I ordered the Banzai burger burnt beyond recognition. The food was delicious and the fries indeed were all you can eat which made me feel satisfied and thrifty. 

In the end I offered to buy lunch and she accepted. This made me feel both chivalrous and instantly regretful at the same time. The check arrived and I was relieved to exit for under 30 dollars including tip. 

I never figured out her reason for asking me to lunch. She initiated a peck on the cheek. I acquiesced which made me feel considerate and lukewarm like a Hallmark Christmas movie. 

The End 

Nice try. but not quite up to Kirby's standards!

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I've been to Red Robin twice, not impressed, although it's a step up from most burger chains.

She's on the hunt. That doesn't mean she has her sights set on you, she's evaluating the prospects. If she suddenly shows up in your vicinity, or you get together again, then you are a target.

Rebound sex can be fun, but just as male teens can seem like an octopus, divorced females can also seem like an octopuss. Very tempted to do the obvious joke here.

If you do get together, really, take her someplace nice next time.

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4 minutes ago, late said:

I've been to Red Robin twice, not impressed, although it's a step up from most burger chains.

She's on the hunt. That doesn't mean she has her sights set on you, she's evaluating the prospects. If she suddenly shows up in your vicinity, or you get together again, then you are a target.

Rebound sex can be fun, but just as male teens can seem like an octopus, divorced females can also seem like an octopuss. Very tempted to do the obvious joke here.

If you do get together, really, take her someplace nice next time.

TGI Fridays?  Applebees?

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2 hours ago, BuffJim said:

If your town has an Olive Garden, it would be perfect for a 2nd date:

https://www.grandforksherald.com/lifestyles/food/2350615-eatbeat-long-awaited-olive-garden-receives-warm-welcome

 

If she appreciated the free refills on the fries at RR she might enjoy the all you can eat bread sticks at Olive Garden.  If she does......
 

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1 minute ago, Kzoo said:

If she appreciated the free refills on the fries at RR she might enjoy the all you can eat bread sticks at Olive Garden.  If she does......
 

I think "she eats breadsticks" has replaced "she smokes" but I cannot figure out how to make up a suitable off color rhyme

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25 minutes ago, jsharr said:

I think "she eats breadsticks" has replaced "she smokes" but I cannot figure out how to make up a suitable off color rhyme

She Smokes Eats Bread Sticks in Bed lyrics

Mary’s wiping crumbs from her clothes
Buttery patches strewn across the sheets
The steam rose slowly and was pushed out by the vent
The guiding light was just the tip of her bread stick
She eats bread sticks in bed

Mary doesn’t care about herself
So what chance is there for anybody else
Sometimes I wonder about the heartache that lies ahead
Any day now she’ll not fit in her clothes
She eats bread sticks in bed

Nervous neighbors peeping through the blinds
Piercing sirens cutting through the night
A big jumble settling to rest
They searched for hours
There wasn’t any heartbeat left
She eat bread sticks in bed

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