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Do you get sophisticated humor?


Randomguy

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2 minutes ago, TrentonMakes said:

A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended.

The tailor asks: “Euripides?”

The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”

So I posted something that I thought was funny in another post, but thought "Oh no, someone won't get it and I will be roasted alive" and I took it out.  Now I feel dirty and compromised, and whorish in a too-chaste and no fun way.  :(

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Mr. Heisenberg is driving on the freeway and a police officer stops him for speeding.

The officer walks up to Heisenberg's car and asks him, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

Mr. Heisenberg says "Officer, I have no idea how fast I was going, but I know exactly where I am."

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Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy.

After years of peaceful co-existence, the Amati family decided to put a sign in their shop window saying: “We make the best violins in Italy.”

The Guarneri family soon put a sign in their window proclaiming: “We make the best violins in the world.”

Finally, the Stradivarius family posted this sign outside their shop: “We make the best violins on the block.”

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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.”

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

—Emo Philips

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