Randomguy Posted January 22, 2019 Share #1 Posted January 22, 2019 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentonMakes Posted January 22, 2019 Share #2 Posted January 22, 2019 A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?” 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #3 Posted January 22, 2019 I know a joke about Aristocrats. It is very sophisticated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share #4 Posted January 22, 2019 2 minutes ago, TrentonMakes said: A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?” So I posted something that I thought was funny in another post, but thought "Oh no, someone won't get it and I will be roasted alive" and I took it out. Now I feel dirty and compromised, and whorish in a too-chaste and no fun way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #5 Posted January 22, 2019 What do get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #6 Posted January 22, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #7 Posted January 22, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #8 Posted January 22, 2019 Mr. Heisenberg is driving on the freeway and a police officer stops him for speeding. The officer walks up to Heisenberg's car and asks him, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" Mr. Heisenberg says "Officer, I have no idea how fast I was going, but I know exactly where I am." 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Popular Post Share #9 Posted January 22, 2019 Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies. The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!" The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger. The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentonMakes Posted January 22, 2019 Share #10 Posted January 22, 2019 this old one - why was 6 afraid of 7? (because 7 8 9) I've seen many variations and this is my favorite - Why was 6 afraid of 7 in Canadian hexadecimal? .... because 7 8 9 A. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #11 Posted January 22, 2019 Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of peaceful co-existence, the Amati family decided to put a sign in their shop window saying: “We make the best violins in Italy.” The Guarneri family soon put a sign in their window proclaiming: “We make the best violins in the world.” Finally, the Stradivarius family posted this sign outside their shop: “We make the best violins on the block.” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted January 22, 2019 Share #12 Posted January 22, 2019 Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over. —Emo Philips 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share #13 Posted January 22, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted January 22, 2019 Share #14 Posted January 22, 2019 43 minutes ago, Randomguy said: Do you get sophisticated humor? No. That's why I hang out here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted January 22, 2019 Share #15 Posted January 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, Road Runner said: No. That's why I hang out here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share #16 Posted January 22, 2019 4 minutes ago, AirwickWithCheese said: I think the candle is not the best substitute for a pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12string Posted January 22, 2019 Share #17 Posted January 22, 2019 Look, if you want me answer your polls you need to ask using smaller words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now