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Randomguy

Suppose you were in the woods and found a small crashed plane...

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6 minutes ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

I would say a prayer for Wilbur, cover up the crash site with branches and moss, then call WOWilbur when I got home. 

Wilbur would never crash a plane when he had drug money, he would bail out with it, I am sure.

 

8 minutes ago, Kirby said:

Run away, run away!

But why? 

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9 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Wilbur would never crash a plane when he had drug money, he would bail out with it, I am sure.

 

But why? 

Because somehow I would end up either in jail or killed by the drug dealers.   Or the stress would kill me.

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6 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Wilbur would never crash a plane when he had drug money, he would bail out with it, I am sure.

 

Look, you can't reset the parameters of the fantasy once you've set it out there. 

The money would be US, not Canadian. 

I would build this house. 

 

StorybookCottage6-e1322097617181.jpg.5b5eae1ecea1759d09eb287303a47055.jpg

RO would be schooled in Greenville. You would be sent on an missionary trip to Venezuela. 

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The movie was called "A simple Plan"  Three guys find the crashed plane and $4.4M.  They decide it must be drug money, but then stuff hits the fan in several ways.  The last twist was that one of the finders gets told that it was ransom money, and the FBI said that they have about 10% of the serial number written down and it is only a matter of time before the bills are tracked as they are spent and everybody caught.  The finder burns all the money in a fireplace.

This movie made me sad.  There would have been ways to spend it where they wouldn't be noticed.  Never would I have burned the money.

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6 hours ago, Randomguy said:

The movie was called "A simple Plan"  Three guys find the crashed plane and $4.4M.  They decide it must be drug money, but then stuff hits the fan in several ways.  The last twist was that one of the finders gets told that it was ransom money, and the FBI said that they have about 10% of the serial number written down and it is only a matter of time before the bills are tracked as they are spent and everybody caught.  The finder burns all the money in a fireplace.

This movie made me sad.  There would have been ways to spend it where they wouldn't be noticed.  Never would I have burned the money.

One of billy bobs best, next to sling blade. 

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First see if there were any survivors.

Then I'd try to repair the aircraft.

The money? Report it to the cops after I took photos of the cash and uploaded somewhere just in case the cops are corrupt. Most states you get to keep at least part of it.

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7 hours ago, Randomguy said:

the FBI said that they have about 10% of the serial number written down and it is only a matter of time before the bills are tracked as they are spent and everybody caught.  The finder burns all the money in a fireplace.

Yeah - that foils all of the plans here except Jerry's.  If the Feds actually gave a crap about actually tracking the money, then the serial numbers would allow them to triangulate pretty quickly.  Trickle spending wouldn't work since it still would be traced cash, and a bazillion cameras at registers across the land (and humans who remember $100 bills).  If you really,really, really worked hard at it, you could make it a profession, but living that way would be awful.  In many countries around the world, your dollars better be in crisp as new shape too or they won't accept them as readily as we like to think, so that might screw with trying to live off the grid in some 3rd world country.

Anyway, assuming you'll get caught and in trouble if you spend it, you could just as easily use it for "good" as in divvy into a bunch of envelopes and donate anonymously all around the country. 

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30 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

I would take the money and be very careful about spending it, very slowly.   Probably develop a shell corp. to send it through.

You people know I have a dark side, don't act too surprised.

Have you seen Ozark on Netflix?  Amazing. It would be up your alley. 

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40 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

I would take the money and be very careful about spending it, very slowly.   Probably develop a shell corp. to send it through.

You people know I have a dark side, don't act too surprised.

I can definitely see you as Humphrey Bogart in Treasure of the Sierra Madre! :D

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18 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

Smuggle some out of the country, to a friendlier country.  Caymans or Switzerland...

Need dirty lawyer.

I have just the guy

Better call Saul

*cue lawyer joke

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8 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Bad Santa was a great acting job on his part, too.

Sling Blade and Bad Santa were both awesome.  BBT hates Canada though so I wait until they are on tv.  :) 

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https://buckrail.com/wydot-snowplow-driver-finds-cash-leads-to-felony-drug-bust/

WYOMING – A Wyoming Department of Transportation snowplow driver struck something while plowing near Elk Mountain yesterday. It turned out to be a black Pelican case full of cash.

The WYDOT driver picked up the case and its spilled contents and turned it over to the Wyoming Highway Patrol. The spilled contents of the pelican case held large amounts of US currency. Troopers took the cash to the local office to be processed.

Meanwhile, another maintenance unit was contacted by three individuals in a small Toyota passenger vehicle inquiring about the pelican case that flew out of their car carrier. Maintenance directed them to the local patrol office in Elk Mountain, Wyoming.

When the individuals arrived at the Elk Mountain patrol office, the odor of marijuana was noticed emitting from their vehicle. A Wyoming Highway Patrol K-9 unit responded and the K-9 gave a positive alert.

A search of the car revealed 81 lbs of marijuana, felony amounts of MDMA, a misdemeanor amount of hallucinogenic mushrooms, and felony amounts of liquid THC.

The individuals in the Toyota passenger vehicle were arrested and charged with felony possession of controlled substances.

Wyoming Division of Criminal Investigation and the Wyoming Highway Patrol is currently investigating the case.

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My first thought would be to keep the money and try to figure out how to launder it so that the drug lords couldn't track me down.

I'd probably not spend any of the money for, perhaps, a year and do something like set up a web site where I sold something foreign - travel, jewelry, etc. - whose purchase isn't easily traced, and pay taxes on some of the fake earnings I'd make.  Otherwise it would seem odd that I suddenly had so much spending money.

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My first thought would just be to pay cash for most out of pocket expense and bank the savings.  Cash for groceries, gasoline, clothing, dining out, anything retail or service related like lawn service, etc.

Still use bank account to pay for mortgage, cars, other large items.

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4 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

My first thought would be to keep the money and try to figure out how to launder it so that the drug lords couldn't track me down.

This is the rub - you would be relatively ignorant of where the money came from.  If it was drug lords, it would be as simple as doing the trickle spending, eventually going somewhere else to live, and not really being caught by the IRS for doing something overkill like buying a Ferrari with cash.  

However, if the truth behind the money is the Feds with them also knowing the serial numbers of the money and having methods in place for monitoring when/where that money is spent - AND you are ignorant of that info - then you're screwed almost any which way. If you somehow KNOW about the Feds - connected dots somehow? - then you have a shot but it won't be a real simple process.

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27 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

This is the rub - you would be relatively ignorant of where the money came from.  If it was drug lords, it would be as simple as doing the trickle spending, eventually going somewhere else to live, and not really being caught by the IRS for doing something overkill like buying a Ferrari with cash.  

However, if the truth behind the money is the Feds with them also knowing the serial numbers of the money and having methods in place for monitoring when/where that money is spent - AND you are ignorant of that info - then you're screwed almost any which way. If you somehow KNOW about the Feds - connected dots somehow? - then you have a shot but it won't be a real simple process.

This was copied and pasted from another site.

 

Every state has laws requiring the return of money or property if it is possible to identify the owner. As a result, if you find a wallet full of cash and an ID, you cannot legally pocket the cash because the owner is recognizable. The same holds true for a bank envelope full of money (especially if it has a receipt in it), a purse, or even an abandoned vehicle. If the owner is not easily identified, most states still require that you contact local law enforcement and give the money to them for a period of time to allow the owner the opportunity to claim it. Should the rightful owner fail to surface after a certain period of time, every state's laws will allow the finder to take the money as his or her own. Doing otherwise is considered theft, and the reasoning should be obvious: everyone ever accused of theft would just claim that they found the stolen property if there was not this legal obligation to try to return lost things to their owners.

This brings us back to the usual hauls one finds on the street: pennies or the stray dollar bill. Obviously, the time and expense of trying to find someone over a few dollars is so prohibitive that, while very technically illegal, keeping these sums is acceptable. As the old Latin saying goes, “de minimis non curat lex:” the law does not bother with trivial things. Of course, if you find this money and someone is walking around looking for it, then you would be breaking the law if you lied and said you had not seen it just so you could keep it. 

For added protection, particularly if you find an unusually large sum of money, you may wish to enlist the assistance of an attorney. Not only will the attorney be able to help you ensure the return of your property by law enforcement should the original owner fail to claim it, they can also guide you through the appropriate legalities and tax consequences for keeping the money (yes, even found money can be taxable income as far as the IRS is concerned). Whatever you do, learn from my mistake and do not give the money to anyone other than the police, no matter how honest they look; you will probably never see it again.

 

 

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9 minutes ago, jsharr said:

This was copied and pasted from another site.

 

Every state has laws requiring the return of money or property if it is possible to identify the owner. As a result, if you find a wallet full of cash and an ID, you cannot legally pocket the cash because the owner is recognizable. The same holds true for a bank envelope full of money (especially if it has a receipt in it), a purse, or even an abandoned vehicle. If the owner is not easily identified, most states still require that you contact local law enforcement and give the money to them for a period of time to allow the owner the opportunity to claim it. Should the rightful owner fail to surface after a certain period of time, every state's laws will allow the finder to take the money as his or her own. Doing otherwise is considered theft, and the reasoning should be obvious: everyone ever accused of theft would just claim that they found the stolen property if there was not this legal obligation to try to return lost things to their owners.

This brings us back to the usual hauls one finds on the street: pennies or the stray dollar bill. Obviously, the time and expense of trying to find someone over a few dollars is so prohibitive that, while very technically illegal, keeping these sums is acceptable. As the old Latin saying goes, “de minimis non curat lex:” the law does not bother with trivial things. Of course, if you find this money and someone is walking around looking for it, then you would be breaking the law if you lied and said you had not seen it just so you could keep it. 

For added protection, particularly if you find an unusually large sum of money, you may wish to enlist the assistance of an attorney. Not only will the attorney be able to help you ensure the return of your property by law enforcement should the original owner fail to claim it, they can also guide you through the appropriate legalities and tax consequences for keeping the money (yes, even found money can be taxable income as far as the IRS is concerned). Whatever you do, learn from my mistake and do not give the money to anyone other than the police, no matter how honest they look; you will probably never see it again.

 

 

How does this help us??? We're all (except Jerry) trying to spend the moolah WITHOUT getting caught/killed/taxed!

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Google tax havens, if you're going to keep it. Then get a good lawyer, one with some international experience.

I think it's doable, but you'd have a lot to learn.

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OK, I gave this some thought during the nooner & after the latest episode of RD. If I had a little time, I'd replace the money in the duffel with cut newspaper, replace the duffel in the plane, soak it in the appropriate type of fuel & light it up. Even if they found the plane, and any remains of the burned duffel, they'd be stymied by the newspaper.

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2 minutes ago, late said:

Google tax havens, if you're going to keep it. Then get a good lawyer, one with some international experience.

I think it's doable, but you'd have a lot to learn.

Yeah - for 4 million, I think once you got it out of the country, the Feds wouldn't give a crap.  Drug dealers also wouldn't notice if you weren't already on their radar or from a very small town.

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You people are morally decrepit.  You all know the right thing to do, yet insist on choosing to sin.

I would first look for survivors, treat any as best I could with my extremely limited and likely fatal medical expertise, then immediately call the police to tell them about the fatal accident and $1 million drug dollars in the plane.

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