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Wonder how she felt after I said..


shootingstar
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Last week was at a large group meeting at work.  Sat beside a woman ..we knew each other ie. which dept., job roles. 

She is 78  and still working 80% hrs. She works well and is incredibly alert, organized and walks with straight posture.  She told me of her upcoming vacation to visit her 80 yr. sister. Sis will then want to visit her in our city and they go around seeing the mountains, etc. 

I said I should visit family in Ontario..since my mother turns 85 which I could see a flicker of reflection in her face.. probably reminder sis/her aren't far from that age.  When I said this, I added:  "And you are looking good."  

Maybe it wasn't necessary for me to say this?  But she does look fantastically young.    Is being your 70's psychologically different than being in your 80's?

 

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She says that she doesn't know what to do with all her time....when she tried being retired for about 18 months. Then she was asked to return to work..  She said she doesn't like being with people her age all the time. I get that since being with people all same age group can become abit myopic (but supportive, reassuring at times).

A few months ago, I said if she took an evening or weekend interest course, she would be with a lot more diverse aged people in such classes.

For sure, I am NOT like her...the thought of working beyond 65 is a turn-off for me.

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Yep....I think so.

Reaching eighty is usually regarded as a milestone so I imagine it has an effect. not physically but certainly psychologically. That said, people do differ in their make-up and the life-force in some are tremendously strong and is to be envied. Your state of health is vitally important as ill-health over a long period does undermine your feeling of well-being and your confidence.... making you vulnerable to even the little upsets of life. I speak from experience here as I felt much younger than my years in my late sixties before I experienced ill-health.

How you see yourself does seem to depend upon the company you keep and being with younger people does help with feeling younger.....unless the youngsters persist in kicking away your walker of course.

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i think about my mother and both of my in-laws--- so vibrant in their late 70's and 80's.  For my mom the time between 77 and 79 saw the Parkinson's take her mobility.  For my father-in-law, a fall from a later at 84 was an injury he could not recover from-- first the fall with broken knee cap, then overall weakness as he recovered.  This led to pneumonia and he died from that.  My mother-in-law had some signs of dementia in her late 70's but once my father-in-law passed, she got much worse and at 83 had a stroke from which she did not recover.

The year before my father-in-law's fall, they were cruising the Suez Canal and vacationing in Europe.  They hung out with younger people because they said all their other friends were dead.  They had bought a house to flip.  My mother was at dog shows up to a few months before she passed--- holding court like always.

I guess my point is that sometimes people change psychologically and "feel/act old."  For others the vessel that is their body is what makes the situation change.  My mother was never old even on the day she died and neither was my father-in-law.

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4 hours ago, onbike1939 said:

. Your state of health is vitally important as ill-health over a long period does undermine your feeling of well-being and your confidence.... making you vulnerable to even the little upsets of life. I speak from experience here as I felt much younger than my years in my late sixties before I experienced ill-health.

How you see yourself does seem to depend upon the company you keep and being with younger people does help with feeling younger.....unless the youngsters persist in kicking away your walker of course.

Then we have to find ways to gracefully avoid some rude young 'uns. :) 

4 hours ago, Airehead said:

i think about my mother and both of my in-laws--- so vibrant in their late 70's and 80's.  For my mom the time between 77 and 79 saw the Parkinson's take her mobility.  For my father-in-law, a fall from a later at 84 was an injury he could not recover from-- first the fall with broken knee cap, then overall weakness as he recovered.  This led to pneumonia and he died from that.  My mother-in-law had some signs of dementia in her late 70's but once my father-in-law passed, she got much worse and at 83 had a stroke from which she did not recover.

The year before my father-in-law's fall, they were cruising the Suez Canal and vacationing in Europe.  They hung out with younger people because they said all their other friends were dead.  They had bought a house to flip.  My mother was at dog shows up to a few months before she passed--- holding court like always.

I guess my point is that sometimes people change psychologically and "feel/act old."  For others the vessel that is their body is what makes the situation change.  My mother was never old even on the day she died and neither was my father-in-law.

Parkinson's and dementia are really tough things to live with oneself.

One of the reasons why I could never live in a gated retirement community or a building restricted to over 50 yrs. (which was common in our province, now being slowly outlawed, effective as of only few years ago!), is to be left with the wrong narrow perspective that everyone else around you is crumbling rapidly or is dead.  That's just not the big wide world reality.

How my health is @60 yrs. is quite different from when my mother was same age.... she was moving slower but tired from raising 6 children.  What I see in my mother now, after peeling away her simmering anger/frustration is a bright woman who has a naturally sharp technical mind. (She does certain math calculations in her head. )  And if her life was different with higher level of education, paid job (even if only part-time) that used her brain, less self-isolation,  etc.. However, there's a huge part, I know, she is grateful to have immigrated to Canada and to live a higher quality of life here, in general.  

We can only console ourselves, that her natural intellectual gifts...got transferred to some of her children, who ended up in applied sciences..and related stable careers.  My mother is her most vibrant self...when she is defending the right things in life/her children.  

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24 minutes ago, Further said:

Old is not a number, it is a state of mind, but the state of the body sure can affect the state of mind.

Yup. I recently entertained a friend who was a radonneur, commuter cyclist for approx. 30+ yrs.  She's now 80 yrs.  I think she is feeling older ..because she can no longer cycle.  Her vision, etc.  She used to be a nurse at a rehabilitation hospital, so quite informed about health and good about her own self-care.

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