The Story of my Trip to the Grocery Store

[Kirby]

I worked vary late the night before and only got 90 minutes of sleep.  This made me feel loopy.  I decided to go shopping on the way home from work.  This made me feel productive.  I looked at food for MomKirby and couldn't decide between some takeout salmon or beef stew, so I got her both of them.  This made me feel a little wild.  Then I went to the bakery section to get a dessert for lunch with MomKirby and my sisters. I went to point out the dessert I wanted, and another woman came up to the bakery.  I let her go ahead of me and that made me feel generous.  When she went to order, she put both her hands on the handle of my cart as if it were her own.  Surprisingly (but with complete justification) this filled me with rage.

The woman asked the bakery clerk if the cannolis were fresh, and she replied "yes".  The woman told me smugly that she always asks if a cannoli is fresh because you can't be too careful with cream. I asked her if she really thought the clerk would tell her if they weren't fresh.  This made her feel shocked and a little uneasy.  This made me feel a little wicked and a little happy.

When I went to check out, the clerk put all my purchases in lovely, strong plastic bags.  This made me feel bittersweet because it was the last weekend for free plastic bags at the store. The clerk asked me if I wanted to double bag one of the bags and I said yes for old times sake.  This made me surprisingly satisfied.

When I left the store there were some girl scouts selling girl scout cookies.  I bought a box of thin mints to bring into work and a box of Samoas for MomKirby.  This reminded me of my selling girl scout cookies when I was younger and made me feel all nostalgic.

The End.

[Ralphie ★]

So good that you didn;t mug an old bag for her marble rye :D

 

[JerrySTL ★]

35 minutes ago, Kirby said:

The clerk asked me if I wanted to double bag one of the bags and I said yes for old times sake. 

You know there a two-bagger joke in there somewhere but I'm not crass enough to make it.

[AirwickWithCheese]

Kirby, I can't show MomCheese this story. You let your emotions run wild. I agree on the plastic bags though. 

[KrAzY]

If it makes you feel any better, I have spent most of my day at a grocery store. So far from 7am-3pm, and now I just got back till midnight and will be back at 5am.

I don't use paper or plastic.. I use my backpack for hauling all my loot home on my motorcycle.

[Kirby]

22 minutes ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

Kirby, I can't show MomCheese this story. You let your emotions run wild. I agree on the plastic bags though. 

I bet MomCheese wouldn't like anyone touching her grocery cart either!

[sheep_herder ★]

Maybe you should have asked her if she was going to push for you? The other day I was following a lady with bright greens running shoes into Albertsons.  While getting our carts, I asked her if they glowed in the dark or if they were just bright.  She laughed and said 'just bright'.

[Wilbur ★]

I want a cannoli.  My lactose and gluten intolerance and sugar allergy are all that stands in the way...

[Page Turner]

3 hours ago, AirwickWithCheese said:

Kirby, I can't show MomCheese this story. You let your emotions run wild.

.............

[Page Turner]

...I did not leave the yard today. This made me feel safer and at the same time more responsible.

[Parr8hed]

12 hours ago, Kirby said:

 I went to point out the dessert I wanted, and another woman came up to the bakery.  I let her go ahead of me and that made me feel generous.  When she went to order, she put both her hands on the handle of my cart as if it were her own.  Surprisingly (but with complete justification) this filled me with rage.

 

I was walking into Qdoba yesterday because I got busy and didn't have time to pack a lunch.  I let a lady walk in in front of me.  There was a moderate sized line and we got through it fairly quickly.  I was eying the quesadilla ingredients with eager anticipation because I was up next.  Then the lady in front of me (that I let in) pulls out her lists and orders her office's lunch while I stare hungrily at the quesadilla fixin's.   

[BuffJim]

We need a sequel. How can you top this today?

11 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I was walking into Qdoba yesterday because I got busy and didn't have time to pack a lunch.  I let a lady walk in in front of me.  There was a moderate sized line and we got through it fairly quickly.  I was eying the quesadilla ingredients with eager anticipation because I was up next.  Then the lady in front of me (that I let in) pulls out her lists and orders her office's lunch while I stare hungrily at the quesadilla fixin's.   

That's dirty pool.  Let me know if you need us to rough her up.