I Was Misled!

[Razors Edge]

...by the headline

Naked Intruder Found Inside Daycare Center In Stafford: SCSO
A woman was arrested after breaking into a kids learning center in Stafford and being found naked: Stafford County Sheriff's Office.

So far, so good.  "Naked Intruder" and "being found naked", and this attached mugshot have me thinking I (and @Parr8hed ) might be onto something:

[Razors Edge]

...however, I then read this and my hopes are dashed:

Shortly before 5:30 a.m., an officer was summoned to the Kids on the Move Learning Center for a reported breaking-and-entering incident. Upon arrival, he found a woman dressed in black standing inside the building holding a fork in each hand. When he took her into custody, she told him he was making a mistake because she was the daycare owner's wife.

So, WTF?????

But, yes, Parr would.

[jsharr]

And the hits just keep coming, as it were

https://patch.com/virginia/fredericksburg/woman-pulls-down-mans-pants-restroom-stafford-scso

[Razors Edge]

...but, apparently, this guy wouldn't

Looking better than the day before(!), she seemed to make the mistake of not picking the right guy to play with.

A man said he had stopped at the Wawa to use the restroom. While doing so, a woman in a bathroom stall in the men's restroom reached out from underneath and began tugging on his pants, "pulling them in a downward motion."

He left the restroom and called police, who found the woman in the restroom and arrested her.

[jsharr]

So @Razors Edge how hard was she trying to pull down your pants and how hard did you fight back?

[Razors Edge]

Just now, jsharr said:

And the hits just keep coming, as it were

https://patch.com/virginia/fredericksburg/woman-pulls-down-mans-pants-restroom-stafford-scso

Hey, I was laying out a storyline!!!  You bastard!

[jsharr]

Just now, Razors Edge said:

Hey, I was laying out a storyline!!!  You bastard!

Please do not get naked and stand in my doorway holding forks, telling people you are my wife.

[Razors Edge]

Just now, jsharr said:

So @Razors Edge how hard was she trying to pull down your pants and how hard did you fight back?

Note that there is no mention of how much time elapsed between the "pulling them in a downward motion" and the "left the restroom".  Nor any mention of what happened in that gap.

[Razors Edge]

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

Please do not get naked and stand in my doorway holding forks, telling people you are my wife.

Well, "mistress" or perhaps "dalliance" does sound more exciting!

[Parr8hed]

She may have some issues.  

[JerrySTL]

12 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

She may have some issues.  

On drugs or needs to be on drugs.