Depressed, don't give a fuck Wednesday

[Dottleshead]

I met up with my father yesterday at the doctor's office and it was really bad. I am glad I was there but it was tough to see him. Basically he couldn't keep himself from sliding out of the wheel chair and he looked defeated. I was able to see the X-ray and he's got a titanium rod basically the whole length of his femur. The surgeon showed me where the break had been and it really hasn't healed up the way they would have liked. Now he is in a catch-22 that if he doesn't start using it, he will lose the use of it. But if he does, it may break again. So if he sits, he loses the use of it. If he tries and breaks it, he most likely is off to a nursing home. There is a small chance he can recover but it seems clear to me even if he does, he will be a former shell of himself.  In the meantime, I have a very annoying test bug that needs to be fixed and quite frankly I could careless. I just don't want to be here. It's really hard to motivate myself.

[petitepedal]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I wish I had some wisdom to give you. 

[Ralphie]

For the work situation, this is why I like to take wednesdays off. Five days in a row is just too much for me now. 

The old man situation is a much tougher nut to crack.

 

[jsharr]

Sorry man.  This sucks for everybody.  My dad is in his 80s and is a shell of his former self.  Getting old sucks but the alternative may be worse.  Maybe not.  

[AirwickWithCheese]

Thank you for being there for him.  

[Ralphie]

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

Sorry man.  This sucks for everybody.  My dad is in his 80s and is a shell of his former self.  Getting old sucks but the alternative may be worse.  Maybe not.  

It is not a panacea, but taking care of yourself sure helps.  Biking is great unless you get taken oot. 

[2Far]

What about a recumbent type stationary bike?

He can work on the range of motion & put as much resistance on it as he can stand.

[Dottleshead]

21 minutes ago, 2Far said:

What about a recumbent type stationary bike?

He can work on the range of motion & put as much resistance on it as he can stand.

He has one at home.  We need to get him home first.  As it stands, he is now getting aggressive physical therapy.

[jsharr]

15 minutes ago, Dottie said:

He has one at home.  We need to get him home first.  As it stands, he is now getting aggressive physical therapy.

I do passive aggressive physical therapy.  

Now do 10 eye rolls and 5 door slams.

[Kzoo]

Activity is the key to survival.  The one year survival rate of the elderly with hip fractures is bleak.  It has to be the same for similar breaks like the femur and pelvis.  Inactivity leads to circulation issues, congestive heart issues, pulmonary issues..... 

Make sure he listens to the therapists.  My parents both went through therapy sessions with flying colors.  My FIL fought the system and paid dearly for it.

[Dottleshead]

41 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

Activity is the key to survival.  The one year survival rate of the elderly with hip fractures is bleak.  It has to be the same for similar breaks like the femur and pelvis.  Inactivity leads to circulation issues, congestive heart issues, pulmonary issues..... 

Make sure he listens to the therapists.  My parents both went through therapy sessions with flying colors.  My FIL fought the system and paid dearly for it.

Thanks Kazie.  Yeah, the old man has been a trooper fighting through many physical ailments.  This will be his biggest test by far.  He's 86 and worked out almost daily for the last 50 years.  But he looks pretty defeated right now.  I'm not saying he won't or can't rebound -- but he's got a big slope ahead of him.

[Dottleshead]

[Green Grass]

4 hours ago, Dottie said:

He's 86 and worked out almost daily for the last 50 years.

That's great.  Hopefully he's itching on getting back at it.  Also, remember mental attitude matters...yours included.  Be positive for him.

I liked 2 Far's idea about the stationery recumbent.

 

All the best...

[Dottleshead]

Thanks Goat.

[Kirby]

I am sorry you and he are dealing with this.  It's not easy to see the ones we love have such difficult challenges.  But it sounds like he's had good habits all along and I hope they can help him now.

[Dottleshead]

Thanks Kirb.  It's out of my hands. Not sure he's going to do it. 

[Parr8hed]

I wish that I could share some words that would help you.  I just got nothing. 

[onbike1939]

This is all very sad Dottie but when one becomes old then there is little certainty about anything any more and particularly about health matters. You must take care of yourself, as you yourself have to be well to take care of these things and it is easy to allow things to get on top of you.

If it's any comfort, I find that as I get older I become more fatalistic about the prospect of popping off.......I think that there is a growing acceptance of this with increasing age. My greatest fear is that I live for too long burdened with intractable health problems and that is not something I'd welcome.

[MickinMD]

On 4/24/2019 at 12:48 PM, Dottie said:

I met up with my father yesterday at the doctor's office and it was really bad. I am glad I was there but it was tough to see him. Basically he couldn't keep himself from sliding out of the wheel chair and he looked defeated. I was able to see the X-ray and he's got a titanium rod basically the whole length of his femur. The surgeon showed me where the break had been and it really hasn't healed up the way they would have liked. Now he is in a catch-22 that if he doesn't start using it, he will lose the use of it. But if he does, it may break again. So if he sits, he loses the use of it. If he tries and breaks it, he most likely is off to a nursing home. There is a small chance he can recover but it seems clear to me even if he does, he will be a former shell of himself.  In the meantime, I have a very annoying test bug that needs to be fixed and quite frankly I could careless. I just don't want to be here. It's really hard to motivate myself.

I sounds like if he does try to use and it breaks, he's in no worse final condition than if he doesn't use it.  Please try to provide an atmosphere where he can motivate himself to give its use a try.  Motivation always comes from within but others can provide the attitude, inspiration, and conditions for that motivation to find itself.  Good luck!

[Dottleshead]

2 hours ago, MickinMD said:

I sounds like if he does try to use and it breaks, he's in no worse final condition than if he doesn't use it.  Please try to provide an atmosphere where he can motivate himself to give its use a try.  Motivation always comes from within but others can provide the attitude, inspiration, and conditions for that motivation to find itself.  Good luck!

True.  I try to tell him every time I see him that he is both wanted and needed.  He has value.  All of which is true.

[Prophet Zacharia]

My father in law is in a bad state, and I blame his nursing home. He was admitted for an infection in his vertebrae and resulting inflammation of the disc, requiring IV antibiotics for 6 weeks. Which was “fine”, but the nursing home had him on a five day a week PT regimen, which he couldn’t complete due to pain. So now his six weeks are up, his pain has just started to improve, but hasn’t progressed in PT to the point that he can come home. Still can’t get out of bed to go to the bathroom on his own, let alone do steps. But his insurance won’t authorize any additional skilled nursing to contine PT.

My wife is filing complaints with the Department of Aging, the nursing home shouldn’t have been doing/billing PT while the infection still raged on, he should have only started PT now, so he didn’t burn through the insurance benefit. The nursing home doctor countered that he shouldn’t have been discharged from the hospital while his pain was so incapacitating. But that wasn’t his choice. But the DOA won’t have any impact on getting a continued insurance auth, so it’s self-pay time.