Road Runner Posted May 20, 2019 Share #1 Posted May 20, 2019 I have. About half way through yesterday's ride on my usual tree-lined route, I looked down at my right forearm and noticed a large splatter of black poop. l don't know when it happened. I never felt a thing. I looked down for some reason and there it was. No way to wipe it off, so I had to finish my ride with a big wad of poop on my arm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted May 20, 2019 Share #2 Posted May 20, 2019 Accidentally or on purpose? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted May 20, 2019 Author Share #3 Posted May 20, 2019 3 minutes ago, Zephyr said: Accidentally or on purpose? Either. I'm not sure in my case. It may have been on purpose. Birds seem to like to torment me, for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #4 Posted May 20, 2019 Just now, Road Runner said: I have. About half way through yesterday's ride on my usual tree-lined route, I looked down at my right forearm and noticed a large splatter of black poop. l don't know when it happened. I never felt a thing. I looked down for some reason and there it was. No way to wipe it off, so I had to finish my ride with a big wad of poop on my arm. I was approaching the midway point of a 50 mile ride, and felt something hit my right bicep. I looked down and it was either bird poop or a splattered bug. In either case, I got the brilliant idea to just drift to the side of the trail - still riding at speed - and pull a leaf off a tree/bush to use to wipe my arm clean. I reached out and grabbed a nearby leaf, used it to wipe away the goop on my arm, and continued on my way amazed at my quick thinking and a job well done. ... The next day began TWO weeks of the WORST case of POISON IVY I have ever had. Huge blisters on my right arm that immobilized me on the couch for days. Only a strong prescription of steroids or some such drug was able to finally beat back the beast. In the top 10 most awful and depressing times of my life so far. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #5 Posted May 20, 2019 Not for free 2 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted May 20, 2019 Author Share #6 Posted May 20, 2019 3 minutes ago, Razors Edge said: I got the brilliant idea to just drift to the side of the trail - still riding at speed - and pull a leaf off a tree/bush to use to wipe my arm clean. I thought about riding up next to a bush with a lot of foliage and while still at speed, extending my arm into the bush just enough to wipe away the poop. But then I remembered how accident prone I am and how, at least in my case, there was a very good chance of such a maneuver going very wrong. So I lived with the poop. During the last of my ride, I started imagining all kinds of strange diseases that one might contract from extended exposure to bird poop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheep_herder ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #7 Posted May 20, 2019 Yes, by lambs and birds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted May 20, 2019 Share #8 Posted May 20, 2019 Many years ago I was fishing in a boat with Daughter#1 - she was about 6. I was wearing shorts and a bird pooped on by leg. She thought it was very funny and has mentioned it several times since. Last week we were at her place and as we were outside saying our good-byes a bird pooped in her head. I don't believe in karma but if I did... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted May 20, 2019 Share #9 Posted May 20, 2019 My dad had a large walk in aviary and he raised doves. One of my chores was to rake out the poop and yeah I got pooped on quiet a bit. I got nailed a few times on rides too. My daughter used to have these explosive blow outs that would overwhelm her diaper. She got me a few times. Got peed on by car crash victim going into shock but her bowels held. She was cute too but it was still nasty... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Indy Posted May 20, 2019 Popular Post Share #10 Posted May 20, 2019 I don't think you can truly claim to be a parent if you've never been pooped on. That said, I also grew up on a hog farm. I've been pooped on A LOT!!! 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted May 20, 2019 Share #11 Posted May 20, 2019 Been bird pooped a couple times. Friends have a parrot and knowin we are animal people they often leave him out when we are over. It is not uncommon for him to fly over and land on you and drop a little poop. When my oldest was months old I was holding her in the shower and she pooped on me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted May 20, 2019 Author Share #12 Posted May 20, 2019 6 minutes ago, Indy said: I don't think you can truly claim to be a parent if you've never been pooped on. I cleaned a lot of nasty diapers, but I don't remember being actively pooped on. And I was smart enough to avoid the boy-peeing-when-you-remove-his-diaper thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted May 20, 2019 Share #13 Posted May 20, 2019 13 minutes ago, Road Runner said: I cleaned a lot of nasty diapers, but I don't remember being actively pooped on. And I was smart enough to avoid the boy-peeing-when-you-remove-his-diaper thing. Boy got my wife in the face once when she was changing his diaper! He never got me. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted May 20, 2019 Share #14 Posted May 20, 2019 Sorry no baby poop stories. Got pooped on by a fat seagull at Granville Island, Vancouver...a place that's known for aggressive seagulls while people sit outdoors to eat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post JerrySTL ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Popular Post Share #15 Posted May 20, 2019 Shortly after Page Turner had some coffee. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted May 20, 2019 Share #16 Posted May 20, 2019 Although this didn’t happen to me it’s worth sharing. In HS we would always eat our lunches outside in the “quad”. Several of us were on the bench and my buddy Jim was telling a story while holding a hot dog. He hadn’t taken a bite yet and as he’s talking a seagull crapped directly on his hot dog! I mean it spread perfectly like it was black relish! Me and another guy saw the crap land on his hotdog and we looked at each other in shock, like holy shit did you see that!?!? Just at that moment Jim finished his story and went to take a bite! Whoa hold up dude!!! One of the best executed crap jobs ever! That seagull must have been a bombardier in a previous life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #17 Posted May 20, 2019 My car yes.....me not so much except for the rides that end up with horseshit on my shins. That's one of the disadvantages of riding on rural trails with horse riders who have no concept of cleaning up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickinMD ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #18 Posted May 20, 2019 No, but large birds seem to like to dive-bomb dark blue cars. Ever since I got the Pearl Blue Honda Fit I've had to make sure I've got plenty of spray cleaner and paper towels on hand. There was this kid in Catholic elementary school named Charles who wasn't very socially skilled. When we played tag or ball games, etc. on the playground, Charles stood and watched. One day, we were playing and one of us noticed Charles was sitting next to the wall of the church and there were pigeons at the edge of the roof directly above him. Sure enough, one of them let loose on Charles as our whole group watched. The poor guy was known as "shithead" throughout the 8th grade. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BR46 Posted May 20, 2019 Share #19 Posted May 20, 2019 Never stand behind a cow that coughs. And I know this first hand. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airehead Posted May 20, 2019 Share #20 Posted May 20, 2019 a less pleasant part of my work over the years has been working with students who engage in maladaptive behaviors such as fecal smearing. After the first couple of times it becomes no big deal. That said, days are better if it doesnt happen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted May 20, 2019 Share #21 Posted May 20, 2019 6 hours ago, ChrisL said: Although this didn’t happen to me it’s worth sharing. In HS we would always eat our lunches outside in the “quad”. Several of us were on the bench and my buddy Jim was telling a story while holding a hot dog. He hadn’t taken a bite yet and as he’s talking a seagull crapped directly on his hot dog! I mean it spread perfectly like it was black relish! Me and another guy saw the crap land on his hotdog and we looked at each other in shock, like holy shit did you see that!?!? Just at that moment Jim finished his story and went to take a bite! Whoa hold up dude!!! One of the best executed crap jobs ever! That seagull must have been a bombardier in a previous life. Good on you kids for telling him! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now