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Don't Make This A Habit!


Razors Edge

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...but I do find nun jokes funny :D

Mother superior at the grocery: "I would like to have 120 bananas for the convent."

Salesman: "If you buy such a large quantity, it is more economic to buy 144 of them."

Mother superior: "Oh well, we could always EAT the other 24."

 

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Used to do tax appraisals, long time ago. Did a couple abandoned convents. Don't know why, but that stuck with me.

The one I remember was in Vermont. Catholics like to dress up their churches a bit. That was plain, looked like a dorm in a factory town. Looked like a grim place to live.

 

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A drunk walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how tall is a penguin.

Bartender: I don't know. Maybe 2 feet.

Drunk: A really big penguin?

Bartender: 3 feet.

Drunk: The world's biggest penguin?

Bartender: 4 feet tops.

Drunk. Damn. I must have run over a nun.

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11 hours ago, JerrySTL said:

A drunk walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how tall is a penguin.

Bartender: I don't know. Maybe 2 feet.

Drunk: A really big penguin?

Bartender: 3 feet.

Drunk: The world's biggest penguin?

Bartender: 4 feet tops.

Drunk. Damn. I must have run over a nun.

A drunk walks into the Vatican and encounters the Pope. He asks the Pope how tall the shortest Nun is.

Pope: Most are quite average in height. Certainly, none are shorter than 4 feet tall.

Drunk: So no really tiny & short ones?

Pope:: Definitely there are none shorter than 4 feet.

Drunk: And any idea how tall the world's biggest penguin would be?

Pope: 4 feet tops.

Drunk. Damn. I must screwed a penguin.

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A nun is walking home when she gets stopped by a guy who says he is going to have sex with her.  She shrugs and lifts her habit up around her waist, so he drops his pants around his ankles.

He says "I thought you'd put up more of a fight'

To which she replied, "I'm not going to fight at all."

"Really, why not?"

"Because I can run faster with my habit around my waist than you can with your pants around your ankles"

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