Have you ever...?

[Dirtyhip]

17 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Then I realized that women are fucking nuts

Oh yeah, well I'm rubber you are glue any thing you say bounces off me and sticks to you.  ?

HAHA

[Parr8hed]

14 hours ago, 12string said:

To be fair - just an explanation that you may or may not agree with: the reasoning for that document is that they figure why would you want to take a vow to enter into a Catholic Sacramental marriage if you didn't believe in and plan to practice catholicism?  And if you believe in something, wouldn't you raise your children that way?

Of course, if that's the thinking - it just makes sense that you would raise your kids Catholic so why make you sign something?

I took the vow to enter into the wedding only for my wife.  My wife was raised Catholic and wished to do the sacrament thing by being married in a church.  I had every intention of having a good marriage, treating her right, doing the right stuff.  So the things that they talked about in the classes actually made sense to me.  I had no plans to join the catholic church and certainly no plans to raise my kids that way. 

If you have a product out there that people like and want to use then you should promote it.  If it is a good product they will keep coming back.  When you make people start signing shit that makes it seem cultish.  Just my opinion.  

[Prophet Zacharia]

17 hours ago, Reverend_Maynard said:

I thank you all for being respectful to all in this thread... This is how p&r can be discussed.  ?

Which is why I never thought P&R should be abolished. It’s GOOD to be able to talk about these things, and the news, and get different vantage points. It doesn’t have to  be disrespectful, and shouldn’t be.

[Reverend_Maynard]

3 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

Which is why I never thought P&R should be abolished. It’s GOOD to be able to talk about these things, and the news, and get different vantage points. It doesn’t have to  be disrespectful, and shouldn’t be.

IMO, having a separate P&R fosters the idea that there are different rules or that insults slung in one forum will not affect interactions in another.  When the P&R-ish threads are forced to intermingle with the Weekend Plans thread, it is a good reminder that we are all real humans (most of us anyway ?) with real lives and having a separate area for P&R doesn't make us more or less so.

[Prophet Zacharia]

18 minutes ago, Reverend_Maynard said:

IMO, having a separate P&R fosters the idea that there are different rules or that insults slung in one forum will not affect interactions in another.  When the P&R-ish threads are forced to intermingle with the Weekend Plans thread, it is a good reminder that we are all real humans (most of us anyway ?) with real lives and having a separate area for P&R doesn't make us more or less so.

I can appreciate that. I’d also like to discuss the news and current events.

 I think appropriate moderation, with warning and bans for those who can’t behave, is better than just outlawing certain topics. 

[Prophet Zacharia]

I think this is a great thread. It seems to be well accepted and tolerated by all, and has passed mod scrutiny. 

But would this parallel thread be accepted in the cafe’s current climate? I sense not, but maybe I am mistaken, since I wouldn’t have anticipated this one would be.

“Have you ever tried to have a romantic relationship with someone whose political beliefs were much different than your own?”

[Reverend_Maynard]

9 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

I think this is a great thread. It seems to be well accepted and tolerated by all, and has passed mod scrutiny. 

But would this parallel thread be accepted in the cafe’s current climate? I sense not, but maybe I am mistaken, since I wouldn’t have anticipated this one would be.

“Have you ever tried to have a romantic relationship with someone whose political beliefs were much different than your own?”

I'm not sure, but I'd like to think so...  The success of this thread, and the future success of all hypothetical threads lies in the desire of the participants to be respectful of each other...  We don't have to agree, or even understand each others positions, but we can all make the choice to not say things that we know, or suspect, will be hurtful.  That shouldn't be too much to ask.

[Prophet Zacharia]

1 hour ago, Reverend_Maynard said:

I'm not sure, but I'd like to think so...  The success of this thread, and the future success of all hypothetical threads lies in the desire of the participants to be respectful of each other...  We don't have to agree, or even understand each others positions, but we can all make the choice to not say things that we know, or suspect, will be hurtful.  That shouldn't be too much to ask.

Well said.

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

I think this is a great thread. It seems to be well accepted and tolerated by all, and has passed mod scrutiny. 

But would this parallel thread be accepted in the cafe’s current climate? I sense not, but maybe I am mistaken, since I wouldn’t have anticipated this one would be.

“Have you ever tried to have a romantic relationship with someone whose political beliefs were much different than your own?”

I think it would be fine, as the subject isn’t the politics, only the relationship with someone on the other side. 

[Dirtyhip]

My husband used to identify as a republican. He is not that anymore. ?

[Razors Edge ★]

1 hour ago, Reverend_Maynard said:

I'm not sure, but I'd like to think so...  The success of this thread, and the future success of all hypothetical threads lies in the desire of the participants to be respectful of each other...  We don't have to agree, or even understand each others positions, but we can all make the choice to not say things that we know, or suspect, will be hurtful.  That shouldn't be too much to ask.

Great, but if we have one bad apple who likes to toss hand grenades and the rest of us need to suffer?

I like my a "hide an offending comment within a thread and lock the offender out of that particular thread" approach if we want to keep these things around and not use a P&R section.

[Reverend_Maynard]

12 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Great, but if we have one bad apple who likes to toss hand grenades and the rest of us need to suffer?

I like my a "hide an offending comment within a thread and lock the offender out of that particular thread" approach if we want to keep these things around and not use a P&R section.

1) I am not a fan of locking/deleting threads if they take a bad turn.  I've never been a mod here or anywhere, so I don't how much extra mod work this would be, but I much prefer to remove posts within the thread, and warn/suspend/ban the offending parties.  If the OP is the offensive one, then the whole thread would likely get locked down.

2) IMO, there has been far too much rope given to the grenade throwers... we all know who they are long before they suffer any official consequences (shutting down the thread they hijacked doesn't count at all, imo).

TBS... I have no say in these matters.  ?

[Dirtyhip]

31 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Great, but if we have one bad apple who likes to toss hand grenades and the rest of us need to suffer?

I like my a "hide an offending comment within a thread and lock the offender out of that particular thread" approach if we want to keep these things around and not use a P&R section.

I need to learn more about my powers.  I saw the post and considered hiding it, but people were being very civil.  

[Dottleshead ★]

8 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

I need to learn more about my powers.  I saw the post and considered hiding it, but people were being very civil.  

I would like to volunteer to be your first honary banning. Any chance I could request like a 2 minute ban? Thanks.

[Prophet Zacharia]

8 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I think it would be fine, as the subject isn’t the politics, only the relationship with someone on the other side. 

So if we’re discussing crime and corruption in the Executive Office we’re ok, but stay away from policy debates? Asking for my friend.

[Reverend_Maynard]

Adding a follow up/update:

Thursday evening we were playing cribbage when talk turned towards her mother, dying of a terminal illness, and a request that I pray for those affected.  I expressed my condolences, but declined to do any praying.  Talk then turned to whether I believe "just a little", and when I still refused, it was very sad that I did not.  Then started the extremely insulting, IMO, talk of "you look but do not see, listen but do not hear or understand" BS.  Not being interested in changing her beliefs or being equally insulting in return, I merely inquired "Do you think that I could talk you out of your beliefs?" to which she seemed to get the point.  After one final "I know you believe deep down", we said our good nights.  We haven't talked since and honestly, I don't know that I care to anymore.

?

[MickinMD ★]

When I was at college at then-mostly-commuter-college UMBC around 1970, Catholics and Jews were in the vast majority due to middle-class members of those religions tending to push their kids to higher education more than others back then in the Baltimore area.  I dated Catholic and Jewish girls, none of us being particularly religious, and nothing unusual occurred - except with one Jewish girl I dated, a very chesty redhead named Patty. She had a mother who was an artist and there was a nude painting of Patty in the family living room.

Then I dated a girl name Paula, a fellow chemistry major a couple years behind me, who I didn't realize was a born-again Evangelical Christian.  I asked her to a movie and she said, "A church group I belong to is having a Square Dance Experience where we're all going to be taught how to do it. Let's do that instead."

That sounded like a lot of fun, so that's what we did and it was a lot of fun.  But after being there for a short time, I noticed we were the only ones holding hands and I got a strange feeling that was being frowned on by the 50 or so others. I didn't think to ask Paula which "religious group" it was until then and it came as a little shock. It turned out Paula was the rebel of the group, so she was fine with holding hands, etc.  But she was so anti-alcohol, etc. that she didn't fit in with my crowd of fellow, degenerate hippies very well and soon the romance was over.

Later, she married a conservative Catholic guy named Joe that I introduced her to, one of the 9 of us who managed to graduate together with degrees in chemistry from UMBC.  About 7 of us, mostly Catholic but including a Jewish professor, crammed into a car to drive to the wedding.  The name of the Church was vague enough that we couldn't tell if it was Catholic, Joe's religion, or an Evangelical Church.  We argued about what it might be on the drive.

Then we turned a corner and saw the church, including a big banner on the side that read, "Bingo Every Thursday Night!"

Instantly we knew the answer: "A Catholic church!"