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Nate
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that you people need a lesson in the concept of chili.

 

Chili is not one of these liberal "everybody gets a trophy" sort of hippy love fests

 

No, it isn't.

 

And Chili isn't a Neuveaux Couisine either. You don't get to put kale and pepperment and tofu in chili. Or seafood, although shrimp is nice, or Portobello mushrooms or a drizzle of ranch dressing

 

Although you shouldn't use onions, you definitely don't use tomatoes. This is not spaghetti sauce with chili powder in it

 

The rule of thumb is: anything you saw on the cooking network....forget all that

 

Now I already went through the history and reasoning behind chili in the other thread, so I won't trot back through all that again, but you people got to take a look at yourselves...you're completely ignoring a native Texan in JSharr, and me who thanks to the oil industry grew up in Texas,....two of the forumites who actually know what real chili is supposed to taste like...guys who have seen men shot down where they stood in cantinas in west Texas over a bowl of chili...

 

and you nevermind what those guys say and you listen to.... a Canadian and some joker in NEW YORK CITY????

 

are you people nuts???

 

Listen, chili is Texas heritage! Would you tell Colonel Sanders how to fry chicken? Would you tell a Tennessee grandma how to make biscuits? Would you tell Bostonians how to make chowder?

 

hey...Would you tell a hippy how to roll joints? :scratch head:

 

I mean think about it people

 

chili aint got no beans in it yall

 

that's just the way it is

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I missed/ignored the discussion of chili. But thought you'd like to know what the internet thinks of chili.

 

 Hey, you're not going to get a good reference from me if you keep on like that

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Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.

CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !

CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).

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 Hey, you're not going to get a good reference from me if you keep on like that

 

 

I just perused the discussion. I can see why the original thought of chili had no beans but thats saying you also have to only eat "true" pizza if it is only yeasted dough and tomato paste. Only. Because thats how they made in in 1830.

 

If we did that then where would all the wonderful food be?

 

I personally like a white chicken chili with beans and serrano peppers.

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I just perused the discussion. I can see why the original thought of chili had no beans but thats saying you also have to only eat "true" pizza if it is only yeasted dough and tomato paste. Only. Because thats how they made in in 1830.

 

If we did that then where would all the wonderful food be?

 

I personally like a white chicken chili with beans and serrano peppers.

 In Texas, we would just git a rope right now

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Every morning when I leave for work I have a small herd of toads try to get in our garage when I open the overhead door. It takes a few minutes to herd them back out. What's up with that?

Dang wildlife. ;)

At the house where I used to live with my parents I was late for work one morning because there was a cow standing directly behind the garage door when it opened.  She would not budge.  I finally had to put my Jeep in gear and slowly push her out of the way. 

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At the house where I used to live with my parents I was late for work one morning because there was a cow standing directly behind the garage door when it opened.  She would not budge.  I finally had to put my Jeep in gear and slowly push her out of the way. 

Yikes! Sometimes cows get loose and wander the roads at four in the morning. But I've never had one in my driveway.

Dang bovines. ;)

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In Texas, we would just git a rope right now

this was taken from the International Chili Society's history of chili.

"Our travels through Texas, New Mexico, and California, and even Mexico, over the years have failed to turn up the elusive "best bowl of chili." Every state lays claim to the title, and certainly no Texan worth his comino (cumin) would think, even for a moment, that it rests anywhere else but in the Lone Star State

There may not be an answer. There are, however, certain facts that one cannot overlook. The mixture of meat, beans, peppers, and herbs was known to the Incas, Aztecs, and Mayan Indians long before Columbus and the conquistadores."
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International Chili Society? Chili is a part of Texas heritage. Its not an International Food Those commie pinko chili apologists are rewriting the cookbooks for their own illegitimate purpose

 

Its like telling the Japanese how to make sushi

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You couldn't be more wrong, Texas chili is an abomination.  No beans, geez, and no tomatoes?  So it is just spiced beef, and that is chili?  Wth is going on with Texas?  And shrimp?  Mushrooms too, for dawg's sake?  Ranch?  

 

No sir, you have pissed away all credibility in food matters.

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You couldn't be more wrong, Texas chili is an abomination.  No beans, geez, and no tomatoes?  So it is just spiced beef, and that is chili?  Wth is going on with Texas?  And shrimp?  Mushrooms too, for dawg's sake?  Ranch?  

 

No sir, you have pissed away all credibility in food matters.

 

you're gonna wish you was with Travis and those boys at the Alamo if you keep talking like that! :P

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you're gonna wish you was with Travis and those boys at the Alamo if you keep talking like that! :P

 

Mushrooms and shrimp and ranch really don't sound right with chili.  My dad used to make chili without beans, and it did taste like pasta sauce with chili powder in it.  I liked it a little though, but to me it just wasn't chili without the beans

 

So if you weren't going to use the froufrou shrooms, sea-roaches, and RANCH FRICKIN' DRESSING ( :o ), how would you make chili?

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I really don't give a damn about the history of chilli.

My recipe is simple and pretty tasty.

1lbs ground beef

2 cans of chilli hot beans

1 can of Rotell hot (habenero based)

1 or 2 fresh jalepenos

season to desired taste.....chilli powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and a bay leaf.

 

brown beef, add other ingredients and simmer for at least an hour.

Some times I'll add some smoked sausage.

Ladel/spoon into bowl and add cheese.

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I really don't give a damn about the history of chilli.

My recipe is simple and pretty tasty.

1lbs ground beef

2 cans of chilli hot beans

1 can of Rotell hot (habenero based)

1 or 2 fresh jalepenos

season to desired taste.....chilli powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and a bay leaf.

 

 served over pasta, right? :P

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alright..here is how you make chili...start with some meat. Any kind of meat. Rattlesnake works good, assorted varmints, or even beef

 

then you cook it down in some water with dried spices and salt. You can use a little beer. The best kind to use is a Lone Star Longneck.

 

Then you use a little corn meal to thicken it up. Its basically meat in a corn meal gravy

 

That's chili

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alright..here is how you make chili...start with some meat. Any kind of meat. Rattlesnake works good, assorted varmints, or even beef

 

then you cook it down in some water with dried spices and salt. You can use a little beer. The best kind to use is a Lone Star Longneck.

 

Then you use a little corn meal to thicken it up. Its basically meat in a corn meal gravy

 

That's chili

 

But what about beans, and a smidgen of tomato?  Cheese?  A little onion?

 

You forgot the damn beans!

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Proper chili...true real and proper chili uses fava beans, tofu crumbles, artichoke, kale and sun-dried tomato. Some will use a lemon garlic herb mix, but if you do it right, it's fresh lemon zest and fresh pressed Asiatic garlic cloves.

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