Giving Metal Lathe to Brother-In-Law

[MickinMD ★]

I have a small metal lathe I rarely use which a late uncle gave me in the '90's when I was making telescope mounts.

I haven't used it for anything in several years and when my BIL Brian, who does small motor repair on the side and is our family's main mechanic, asked me about it I told him I'd give it to him.

I said, "I'll tell you the same thing Uncle Tom told me when he gave it to me: "If you sell it while I'm alive, it's mine. If you sell it after I'm dead, it's yours!"

[Kzoo]

I always went by the guideline that if I give something to someone, they owned it and could do what they wanted.  If I was going to put restrictions on a gift it isn't a gift and I would be trying to hold on to it in some way.

[donkpow]

6 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I always went by the guideline that if I give something to someone, they owned it and could do what they wanted.  If I was going to put restrictions on a gift it isn't a gift and I would be trying to hold on to it in some way.

Yeah but the recipient will probably make money off it. Think about it, man! Think about it.

[Kzoo]

Just now, donkpow said:

Yeah but the recipient will probably make money off it. Think about it, man! Think about it.

So?  If you can't accept it don't give it to him.

 

[donkpow]

2 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

So?  If you can't accept it don't give it to him.

 

If you have any more rules I should know about, now's the time to spill the beins.

[Kzoo]

Just now, donkpow said:

If you have any more rules I should know about, now's the time to spill the beins.

Not a rule.  Just one of "Kzoo's Guidelines for a Better Life." (unabridged edition)

He can do what he wants but giving away a unused possession with lifetime strings attached will just lead to a unhappy life.  What about the VCR he gave his brother in 1985?  Huh?  Is he still waking up every day asking himself about that one?

 

[donkpow]

2 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

Not a rule.  Just one of "Kzoo's Guidelines for a Better Life." (unabridged edition)

He can do what he wants but giving away a unused possession with lifetime strings attached will just lead to a unhappy life.  What about the VCR he gave his brother in 1985?  Huh?  Is he still waking up every day asking himself about that one?

 

Oh for crying out loud.

[Kzoo]

Just now, donkpow said:

Oh for crying out loud.

Crying is a sign of weakness.  

 

[donkpow]

Just now, Kzoo said:

Crying is a sign of weakness.  

 

Aren't you the cornucopia of wisdom.

[Kzoo]

Just now, donkpow said:

Aren't you the cornucopia of wisdom.

I can even spell cornopopuia.

 

[Square Wheels]

31 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I always went by the guideline that if I give something to someone, they owned it and could do what they wanted.  If I was going to put restrictions on a gift it isn't a gift and I would be trying to hold on to it in some way.

I give a ton of stuff away, I'm with kzoo here.

[Kzoo]

Just now, Square Wheels said:

I give a ton of stuff away, I'm with kzoo here.

Oh no.

[Wilbur ★]

34 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I always went by the guideline that if I give something to someone, they owned it and could do what they wanted.  If I was going to put restrictions on a gift it isn't a gift and I would be trying to hold on to it in some way.

I gave some carbon bars to a forum member once.  I gave him a similar stipulation that if they didn't work out, he would donate them to another needy cyclist.  They were on eBay 3 days after I sent them.   

[Longjohn ★]

My father in law gave me a big metal lathe, a power hacksaw and some other stuff to go with it. I never picked it up. Now my brother in law is talking about having a big sale and selling all the tools. I’m guessing it will go for less than scrap price and that’s a shame. It’s in perfect condition. 

[MickinMD ★]

2 hours ago, Kzoo said:

I always went by the guideline that if I give something to someone, they owned it and could do what they wanted.  If I was going to put restrictions on a gift it isn't a gift and I would be trying to hold on to it in some way.

OK. Then it isn't a gift.  It's mine but stays at my BIL's house and he can use it all he wants.

If someone asked you for something you had worth several hundred dollars and said they had a need for it, you gave it to them and then you learned they did little with it then sold it, I'm amazed you be happy with the situation.  I think most of us wouldn't.

[Kzoo]

8 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

OK. Then it isn't a gift.  It's mine but stays at my BIL's house and he can use it all he wants.

If someone asked you for something you had worth several hundred dollars and said they had a need for it, you gave it to them and then you learned they did little with it then sold it, I'm amazed you be happy with the situation.  I think most of us wouldn't.

You must have a different definition of the word give.  I have given stuff to others and the end result was different than stated or maybe intended.  A 2006 Honda Accord comes to mind.  I gave it ...  Not my problem, not my concern, no worries on my part.

[Square Wheels]

We put a lot of things we are giving away at the curb.  We've given perfectly working ACs, a nearly brand new microwave in the box, furniture...

Once we put an older bike, just needed a little tender loving care.

A few weeks later, I saw it in the neighbors yard, the rich neighbors yard.  At first I was frustrated, but I got over it quickly.

If I'm giving it away, I'm giving it away.  To whomever needs it for whatever they need it for.

[Razors Edge ★]

19 hours ago, Kzoo said:

So?  If you can't accept it don't give it to take it from him.

It's a two way street, eh?

But I am in the "just give shit away and if that person wants to keep, loan, sell, donate, whatever it, then I don't care.  It also would inform any future decisions.  I generally give my old iPhone to random next gen kids in the family, and once it leaves my hands, it is theirs.  They can keep it or use it as a trade in, or put it in a drawer. It is no longer needed by me, so who cares???

Now, on the other hand, with FAMILY heirlooms, there is definitely a right of first refusal for all members of the family.  A painting or furniture or  toy or some keepsake that has been "in the family" stays in the family until there is no one left who wants it.

[Kzoo]

29 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

It's a two way street, eh?

But I am in the "just give shit away and if that person wants to keep, loan, sell, donate, whatever it, then I don't care.  It also would inform any future decisions.  I generally give my old iPhone to random next gen kids in the family, and once it leaves my hands, it is theirs.  They can keep it or use it as a trade in, or put it in a drawer. It is no longer needed by me, so who cares???

Now, on the other hand, with FAMILY heirlooms, there is definitely a right of first refusal for all members of the family.  A painting or furniture or  toy or some keepsake that has been "in the family" stays in the family until there is no one left who wants it.

I understand the family keepsakes.  This as a lathe he gave to his BIL to use in his side business.  We aren't talking about a painting of Aunt Gertrude.

[Razors Edge ★]

4 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I understand the family keepsakes.  This as a lathe he gave to his BIL to use in his side business.  We aren't talking about a painting of Aunt Gertrude.

But if I say "You can have this if you promise to use it or give it back so I can get it to someone who will.", then why do you think it is acceptable to agree but break that agreement?  If you can't agree, don't take the item.  It's fairly straightforward.  Sure, the "alive/sell " part bit is overkill, but the basic agreement is still one a person ought to honor.

[Kzoo]

I didn't say it was acceptable to break any agreement (I'm trying real hard not to use the word dolt here - holidays and all).  I said he has a different definition of the work 'give'.  

[Razors Edge ★]

6 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I didn't say it was acceptable to break any agreement (I'm trying real hard not to use the word dolt here - holidays and all).  I said he has a different definition of the work 'give'.  

It's between him and his BiL.  BiL was free to accept (with conditions) or decline (unconditionally).  I agree that I don't do that with "normal" stuff, but it seems like it is fairly common practice for folks to put conditions on giving - whether that is good form or not. 

[Kzoo]

10 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

It's between him and his BiL.  BiL was free to accept (with conditions) or decline (unconditionally).  I agree that I don't do that with "normal" stuff, but it seems like it is fairly common practice for folks to put conditions on giving - whether that is good form or not. 

Dolt - there I said it.  Now we both feel better.

 

[donkpow]

29 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

I understand the family keepsakes.  This as a lathe he gave to his BIL to use in his side business.  We aren't talking about a painting of Aunt Gertrude.

Just because you don't value a lathe as a family keepsake doesn't mean others don't. Giving it to be applied to help with the success of the relative is different than dumping it in his backyard.

[Prophet Zacharia]

On 12/26/2019 at 3:20 PM, Square Wheels said:

I give a ton of stuff away, I'm with kzoo here.

Except for that laptop you’re giving to Ralph. There needs to be strict posting quotas associated, and some quality parameters, too. Please.

[Square Wheels]

33 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

Except for that laptop you’re giving to Ralph. There needs to be strict posting quotas associated, and some quality parameters, too. Please.

Nope, just finished wiping it.  Will go in the mail tomorrow.  He's free to do what he wants with it.

[Kzoo]

22 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

Nope, just finished wiping it.  Will go in the mail tomorrow.  He's free to do what he wants with it.

But if he sells it before he dies he needs to send the money to Mick.

[Square Wheels]

1 minute ago, Kzoo said:

But if he sells it before he dies he needs to send the money to Mick.

What if he sells it after he dies?

[Prophet Zacharia]

5 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

What if he sells it after he dies?

Then he’s confirmed as being evile.