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Bad day


Longjohn

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27 minutes ago, Dottie said:

My mom used to say just after she started feeling normal again from her last chemo treatment, she would get knocked down again on her next treatment.  Chemo treatment is a constant state of feeling crappy and being demoralized.

My wife is on a twice a day oral chemo. No chance to start feeling better between treatments.

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1 hour ago, Longjohn said:

My wife is on a twice a day oral chemo. No chance to start feeling better between treatments.

It's horrible. Basically poisoning your system. Killing off a new growth cells. Horrible stuff... I understand why some patients pass on it and accept the outcome. If you're constantly and gravelly sick all the time, at some point it becomes philosophical about what course of action to take and what's it worth

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My daughter is now cancer free, but the chemo side effects will be a life-long consequence. In her case, it was the right decision. It all comes down to weighing longevity vs quality of life. My dad was very close to quitting dialysis when he passed. He was tired of fighting it. 

I hope and pray for the best for WoLJ and for you. 

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1 hour ago, Scrapr said:

Oh John...I'm so very sorry. Sometimes i had to press WoScrapr to do something like go to the Dr. She didn't want to bother them. I'm like  ....they want to help you. Prayers sent for you & your family

I’m sure the reason she didn’t want to go yesterday was because she felt so horrible she didn’t want to try to travel. It’s an ordeal to get her to the doctor. Just getting her dressed, getting her into the stair lift, getting her into the wheelchair, getting her into the car, listen to her gagging while I drive over a half hour to the doctor, getting her back into her wheelchair and into the cancer center, go back and park the car. The problem is the way this is progressing it will probably be even harder on Monday. I might need to have an ambulance take her to a hospital that her doctor works out of.

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1 minute ago, groupw said:

My daughter is now cancer free, but the chemo side effects will be a life-long consequence. In her case, it was the right decision. It all comes down to weighing longevity vs quality of life. My dad was very close to quitting dialysis when he passed. He was tired of fighting it. 

I hope and pray for the best for WoLJ and for you. 

My wife has had neuropathie in her feet ever since she had six months of chemo 11 years ago. It was worth it.

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5 minutes ago, groupw said:

My daughter is now cancer free, but the chemo side effects will be a life-long consequence. In her case, it was the right decision. It all comes down to weighing longevity vs quality of life. My dad was very close to quitting dialysis when he passed. He was tired of fighting it. 

I hope and pray for the best for WoLJ and for you. 

This is true for womaxx as well.  The second bout of colon cancer involved chemo.  It probably saved her life for a number of years, but some of the side effects will be with her forever.

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1 hour ago, Razors Edge said:

Thinking about you and your wife, and sending lots of hopes and prayers.

My FiL, in his 80s with recurring bouts of cancer, had a helluva time with his last chemo treatments a year or so ago.  After two treatments, one of my SiLs (a nurse) jumped in and made sure the doctors re-evaluated the chemo mix.  They agreed to change it up, since one of the drugs was suspected of causing a severe adverse reaction. Anyway, it worked in that the new chemo mix did not have the same awful side-effects.  

My FiL would NOT have changed things up without the intervention of my SiL. He would have gutted it out until it was completed, he was hospitalized, or the chemo doctor realized the mix was bad.  Hopefully, on Monday, you get some better options to try.  I think the "squeaky" wheel might need to be you, if your wife and her doctor aren't fully understanding or expressing the impact the current chemo mix is having.  Sadly, though, sometimes there is no other mix available.

In any case, as ever, we all are in amazement at your steadfast support and care for your wife. It is wonderful even in these sorts of challenging times.

Our oncologist who got her through five recurrences over the past 20 some years retired at the end of 2018. We decided since we had to find a new oncologist we  would find one that wasn’t in jeopardy of not accepting her insurance. I feel confident that this guy is where we should be. Many types of chemo cannot get through the brain barrier. This drug does, I think it may be time to take her off it. Her oncologist is constantly tweaking her medications to control the side effects as best he can. Right now she is so wore down I don’t think she can take more.

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My mother was hit hard by her 2-per-week chemo treatments.  My sister is a cancer research nurse at Johns Hopkins Hospital and made sure mom was taking the iron and appetite-enhancement meds she was prescribed.  I made sure she was eating because Johns Hopkins warned us that lack of nutrition was a major problem among cancer victims.  I would do things like stop at Panera and pick up a bowl of each of the four soups they had, drive to mom's and tell her I wasn't leaving until I watched her eat the bowl of her choice - and put the others in the fridge for later. Recovering from chemo might put her in a bad mood and she'd say things like, "I'm YOUR mother. I'll tell YOU when I want to eat."  But I stood my ground until she did.  And she did maintain her weight through out the ordeal.

People can be real helpful when you explain the situation. My boss, the school principal, had my schedule rearranged so my planning period was at the end of the day and I was allowed to leave an hour before school ended on mom's chemo days.

When a foot of snow was due mom was still in pretty good shape and resolved to stay at home alone. So I stopped at a favorite sub shop and told the woman working there that I wanted a couple 6" Philly Cheese Steak subs and a couple cold subs. When I told her it was for my dying-of-cancer mother until the snow was cleared, she told me her husband had died of cancer the previous year.  She ended up putting together a kit with stuff in containers so mom could load the sub rolls fresh at home.

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John, you know Mrs. Fleet is in my daily prayers. Lean on your family right now. Those boys love their momma and you too. Cancer may be in one person but it hits the whole family. Definitely take her by ambulance on Monday. The ride will be more comfortable for you both.  This is a very wise plan, not a cop out. God gave you that big brain so you could help others-  if she isn’t feeling a lot better use the ambulance. 

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13 minutes ago, Airehead said:

John, you know Mrs. Fleet is in my daily prayers. Lean on your family right now. Those boys love their momma and you too. Cancer may be in one person but it hits the whole family. Definitely take her by ambulance on Monday. The ride will be more comfortable for you both.  This is a very wise plan, not a cop out. God gave you that big brain so you could help others-  if she isn’t feeling a lot better use the ambulance. 

Instead of an ambulance do you have Medical transport? Might be cheaper.  Friend of ours was just getting into paramedic stuff. As she was a noob she got on the medical transport duty. Usually a Sprinter van but without all the life saving stuff on the inside. Not any lights & siren either

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I don’t know what is available in my area. A lot will depend on what happens this weekend. My son is on his way over right now, he will help me make some decisions. My wife is trying to figure out how to work the tv right now. She never has trouble with that so something is affecting her brain now.

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46 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I don’t know what is available in my area. A lot will depend on what happens this weekend. My son is on his way over right now, he will help me make some decisions. My wife is trying to figure out how to work the tv right now. She never has trouble with that so something is affecting her brain now.

So glad your son is coming to have a look see with you.  

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