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Do you fear death?


Dottleshead

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Have you done all you wanted to do in this world should you suddenly become terminally ill? Are you prepared for the end?  Do you think you'll pass gracefully or will you go out fighting? Will you sit quietly and meditate as the plane crashes to earth or will you be hollering?  Cussing?  Is there enough time left or do you feel like you've been on the planet too long already? Are you fearful, indifferent, prefer to remain ignorant, or are you ready to go?

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4 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

I will not not go gently into that good night, if that's your question.

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Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

From The Poems of Dylan Thomas

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1 minute ago, Mr. Silly said:

I don't fear death.  I am more concerned about the process of dying.  I don't want it to be painful, I don't want it to linger and I don't want to be a bother to others.

That's a pretty common feeling I think.  The dying part is way tougher than the dead part.

When you're dead, there is apparently a chance you become a superhero,  When you're dying, it is pretty much the opposite.  Dying with dignity is a real challenge :( and often a very emotionally traumatizing time for loved ones.

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Don't ever laugh as a Hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks
And all goes well for about a week
And then your coffin begins to leak
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your noes
They eat the jelly between your toes
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes
Your stomach turns a slimy green
And puss comes out like whipping cream
You spread it on a slice of bread
And that's what you eat when your dead
And the worms crawl out and the worms crawl in
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out
Your brain comes tumbling down your snout
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They crawl all over your dirty snout
Your chest caves in and your eyes pop out
And your brain turns to sauerkraut
They invite their friends, and their friends too
They all come down to chew on you
And this is what it is to die
I hope you had a nice goodbye
Did you ever think as a Hearse goes by
That you may be the next to die
And your eyes fall out and your teeth decay
And that is the end of a perfect... day

 

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Something I read from Bradford Smith and try to use it as a guide:

This relatedness of life, as it binds us to all that has passed, surely binds us to the future as well. So the divine spark kindled in us can never really be extinguished for it is part of a universal flame.
Once we have squarely faced the inescapable fact of our own death, we need never fear it but turn and live life to the hilt as we have seen that it should be lived. Then, whether that life be long or short, it will be a full one.

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I don't think I'll ever do everything I want to do, but I don't fear death - I just try to keep it from becoming a near probability.

My biggest fear is living to the point where I'm in constant pain or my mind is gone or I'm too immobile and slow thinking to do anything. I've already told my younger siblings to pull the plug if I get to that point.

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I don’t fear death.  I suppose I ignore death.  Over the last few years I’ve become aware how fragile life is, which means we are much closer to death than we care to admit.  I’ve learned to enjoy the day(s) I have with my wife, family and friends.

Life is fragile...

My best friend who I meet in high school who was a scuba diver, runner, cyclist, healthy, etc… and then for no reason anyone could find, he dies of esophagus cancer in 2018.

Or even myself, back in 2016 my first day of vacation in mid August, I went for a 36 mile ride, then decided to stop at 25 miles, because I had to mow the grass with a push mower for 2 hours.  (it was hot)  That evening,  OMG did I get stomach pain.  Three weeks later, I returned to work after acute pancreatitis.  No one could explain why I got this.  Before that, I don’t think I missed more a total of 4 day of work for sickness since I started working in the mid 70s.

When someone asks me, how are you?  I usually tell them, “I’m on the green side of the grass, it’s a good day”.

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And I am not frightened of dying 
Any time will do, I don't mind
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime

If you can hear this whispering you are dying

Short answer: no. I’m more concerned about mistiming my retirement, so that I work too long and have too little time to enjoy retirement before my time comes. 

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4 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

And I am not frightened of dying 
Any time will do, I don't mind
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime

If you can hear this whispering you are dying

Short answer: no. I’m more concerned about mistiming my retirement, so that I work too long and have too little time to enjoy retirement before my time comes. 

7 hours ago, BR46 said:

I have list of things that I want do before I go. 

Get busy +

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5 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

And I am not frightened of dying 
Any time will do, I don't mind
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime

If you can hear this whispering you are dying

Short answer: no. I’m more concerned about mistiming my retirement, so that I work too long and have too little time to enjoy retirement before my time comes. 

Pinkus Floydus crankus upus

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The whole issue of mortality is front and center right now with my mother, her husband, and my SIL and in probably each case it would be a blessing. In each case, I think they are ready but at least one of the kids hasn't granted permission so they hang on.

My 90y/o mother's husband of 10 yrs, diagnosed with COPD last year and declined rapidly which surprised us as expected him to outlive her. Died Jan 2 and funeral Monday a week ago and was weird to be me described in the obit as the surviving son in law as never really thought of that as getting married at 80 when he was 78, just her late in life husband. She was able to avoid a difficult decision removing from vent or transition with trach (she felt obligated and children's pressure to try everything) as his organs began shutting down. As they were getting in the car for the hour drive to the hospital to initiate and be present as removed from the vent, got a call from the hospital that he died during the night. While I have to respect it, the weirdest part is that they obtained burial plots next to each other, rather him not next to his wife of 51 years, nor her not in a family plot with 3 generations of her family including her first husband, my father, and her3 children who died in their first months. Perhaps it is me, but when kids visit grave sites, seems like would expect both parents they knew to be side by side.

My mother, would not be surprised if sometime this year...just hope it is her heart which would be quick. Currently in hospital, extreme pain (and disoriented on pain medication)  following surgery yesterday for skin grafting of third degree burns on hand and lesser burns to the face clearing away dead skin only during the surgery, plus the surgery will need to be repeated in 3 days or so as used cadaver skin to allow further healing, then repeat with skin from her thighs which they were afraid would be rejected (wasted resource) in her current condition. My mother has limited mobility using a walker, and the burns occurred when she was scrambling some eggs, not for her but for her dog who of course became excited under foot tripping her up and apparently reached out placing her hand(s) on the burner trying to break her fall while carrying the frying pan. Today or tomorrow should have the results of the long delayed biopsy eventually obtained last week and fully expect it to be colo-rectal cancer that imaging and other tests suggested but my sister held on to "surgical sponge left behind in hemorrhoidal surgery" in July which was probably a misdiagnosis and potentially punctured the tumor, spreading it. Will be interesting hearing the staging, lymph node involvement and proposed treatment if an for a 90 y/o, plus probably couldn't begin chemo for anyone reducing their immune system in the middle of burn recovery. The sunrise picture I posted last week was my spending the night at mom's two days after the funeral as I took her to the hospital in Tampa (and hour away) that AM for the colonoscopy at the cancer center - and I will spare you the pictures from the colonoscopy as they don't look good. This colonoscopy was a reschedule as she was admitted to hospital with dx of congestive heart failure when originally scheduled and the anesthesiologist almost didn't do the colonoscopy until received records that heart function, while low, was high enough. 

My SIL, while a medical mess through out her life and always having to one-up other's medical issues, like my wife's concussion or various surgeries, shifting discussion back to her. She is probably in later stages of COPD and absolutely refusing assisted living or moving in with her son. She had a grapefruit size non-malignant brain tumor removed 15 yrs ago in a surgery that stretched over 7 hours. Couldn't get all of it so suspect has grown back. It is the side of the brain that affects decision making, impulsivity and speech which drives us crazy as any plans (assisted living, moving in with son's family, etc) she cancels at the 11th hour. Currently in the hospital/nursing home cycle (result of a fall), readmitted two days after that discharge (confusion, disorientation, infection) from nursing home with about a week left of Medicare authorized days. Given her history, don't know if she will make it the required 60 days outside a hospital to begin a new 30 day Medicare nursing home eligibility. Private pay would totally devastate her finances. We will probably drive the two hours to visit her on Friday.

All of these stacked together in a narrow timeframe really bring out the issue of ones own mortality. With me, it's simple. Burial in a national cemetery as a military benefit and spouse is also eligible.

 

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14 hours ago, jsharr said:

Hopefully stage 4 is a sudden transition from stage 3 with little to no pain.  The first three stages have been painful

Wouldn't count on it, but hospice palliative care helps. When my step-father (mother's second husband - not the third discussed above) in the final days of pancreatic cancer there is pain as bodily organs shut down and blood chemistry becomes all out of whack. Of course he became disoriented seeing lions in the back yard, etc,he was on heavy doses of morphine. Mom felt the urge to overdose him, but couldn't with her religious beliefs - plus it is good as she would be blaming herself forever. A very difficult decision. With cancer and other prolonged death process, for the survivors it is not a grieving process but a relief that finally at rest with no pain and suffering.

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27 minutes ago, Tizeye said:

Wouldn't count on it, but hospice palliative care helps. When my step-father (mother's second husband - not the third discussed above) in the final days of pancreatic cancer there is pain as bodily organs shut down and blood chemistry becomes all out of whack. Of course he became disoriented seeing lions in the back yard, etc,he was on heavy doses of morphine. Mom felt the urge to overdose him, but couldn't with her religious beliefs - plus it is good as she would be blaming herself forever. A very difficult decision. With cancer and other prolonged death process, for the survivors it is not a grieving process but a relief that finally at rest with no pain and suffering.

I rode the cancer hospice care palliative care roller coaster with my father in law.  I would rather have the massive coronary and be gone than linger with cancer.  

Few of are as lucky as David Olney, who passed this week during a singing performance.  He said "I am sorry" put his head on his chest and passed away on the stool he was sitting on.  Did not fall off, did not drop his guitar.  Sad and tragic yes, but he died doing what he loved.

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11 hours ago, Page Turner said:

...everybody dies.  You can't fear what appears to be a universal human experience. Unless maybe you believe in hell and eternal torment.  In which case you ought to get your shit together while you still can.

I swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell!

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