Jon KITguy

Long time has been.  Jon was arrested stazi made up charges.  Bribes not big enough maybe.  Warehouse gone stazi take.  Out good behavior for time for holidays.  For friend will work.  Fortunes get better after.  You hear friends need special holiday stuff you call Jon answer.  Plenty time for shipping though, enter US from Chili.  Rush order for holiday time.

Your friend Jon.

Is scam bad.  Even Kasakstani know of this.  Stazi many times have tried catch. Easier take pay off.

Hello American friends.  Is long time no.  Been crazy bad here.  Too sick many.  Stazi gather around sick friends and put in cells till better.  Business bad but this story is opportunity yes?  You have many friends and I have many boxes of Rebox shoe, all sizes.  8 sets to box for you $100 American.  My friends Canadian slightly more for you.  You send Jon payment details and Jon send you box.  For every two box Jon give one more pair.  You contact soon.  I listen.

Thanks many my friends.  Party is starting now at Johns.  Friends bring many bottles vodka.  Is being long night.  Tomorrow no work.

Good news.  John stazi friend take gift and give key to stazi warehouse.  John has stuff back and new shop to make you good deal.

Again many birthday thanks.

6 hours ago, Airehead said:

Doesn’t look comfortable for nap. I will pass. 

Is OK lucky lady.  Friend not have any more.  Owner of Truck and Stazi knock on door want stuff back.  They take stuff and him for vacation.  Many things they find in house.  One go to museum,  old cyclic inverter diverter found in closed repair shop.  Everyone great laugh has and put in glass case for rememberance.

Jon going camping again for while.  Air for business not good now in Baikonur.

10 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

He mayshould charge you twice

Jon not thief.  Jon be honest hard worker.  Many friends all round can tell.

42 minutes ago, Airehead said:

I need a patio set. 

You lucky lady.  Jon has friend just hands laid on 4 sets right from truck.  He want $600 US for quality Czech stuff.  Jon need $200 pay other friend who, how you say, deckhand container ship is.  He bring New York you get good deal.  Jon need $600 for first friend quick.  Other friend you pay when arrive.  No worries exchange rate. You pm bank stuff Jon do rest.

So you know good deal, Czech price.  If see stazi on pier go fast away come back for friend later.

22 499 Kč

incl. VAT / GST / HST

Is Christmas late.  Now 3 in bank.  Many thanks to Freddy's Pizza, Mrs. Olsen and Jim in Indianapolis US of A.  Free gifts mail in afternoon.

Is bad news.  Money too big for good. Amateurs kill market for this crap.

Jon knows better.  For 20 us I send 2 shirts no crap.  You pm with payment.  Cleaning sale warehouse.

Ha! Bastard brother is.  You find for me and I send stazi.  Is big thief no show face here at home.  Wrong news is.  You just find I take care.  Time is bad. Not need more trouble from family.

Is trap big lie.  Stazi wait for Borat at border.  They tighten his man sling for sure when catch.

How my friends are in America?  You need things call I get.  Almost free, small charge shipping.

Jon here.  Living in prison bad.  Did days once. Small misunderstand with stazi over size of gift for week.  OK though, Russian guard friend and only owe one or two small favors. You say hi insult bot for Jon.  Meet in prison.  OK for west but not so strong insult for Kazakhstan. You say Jon tell mother Saiga father not know.  He laugh.  Good buddy.

Birthday thanks.  Birthday dinner now.  Good day today.

Jon help maybe.  You want Kazakhstan food?  No clog.  You get Manti also Chak Chak after.

6 minutes ago, Dickbag said:

How long do planes float?

Jon here.  Is clear why Americans easy marks.  Till sink.  Mmmm maybe Jon sell bags of air for float next.

10 hours ago, Kzoo said:

Pfffft

socks are not qualified for POTD

Was true.  Am filled with unhappy but now ok.  When I came to great American bike forum was afraid Americans not so nice to Kazakhstan IT guy. Made up not real American name.  Now is good to come clean and be real Jon.  You number one, not like Americans who say bad mouth about great Kazakhstan bicycle team.  I your friend now.  You need stuff call Jon and I run come help.

Was way small for moving stuff fee.  Stazi look away not cheap.

Hi.  Is Jon here.  I do IT things here Kazakstan.  Who else should be?

Most sorry.  Out of town digging out aviation fuel. Very busy with friends problems.  Back now.

You need lottery tickets with good make you money numbers?

18 minutes ago, BR46 said:

Race gas ain't cheap you know 

Can use good stuff Russian aviation fuel?  Buddies know secret stash when Sadman burried in desert.  Much dry barrels.  Have need washing in case other barrels burry next door leak but still real good stuff.  You let Jon know.  I have friends ship to you cheap.

Can try from friends.  I am short funds for internet now.  Can you help while I look?

Luck is with you.  Jon have some insurance left over from last year.  I can give to you chop chop.  You mail Jon and we make friends.  No need for doctor inspection you among friends.  This is limited time thing.  Once tornados over no use to you more.