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Easter-ish Jokes


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Q. Did you hear about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee?
A. It’s a tender tail.

Q. How can you tell a rabbit’s age?
A. Look for Grey Hares.

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs (X) marks the spot.

Q. How did the wet Easter Bunny dry himself?
A. With a hare dryer.

Q: How do you make a rabbit stew?
A: Make it wait for three hours.

Q: How do little baby chicks dance?
A: Chick to Chick.

Q: How do you post a bunny?
A: By Hare mail.

Q: How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?
A: Hoppy Easter.

Q: How many Easter eggs can you put into an empty Easter basket?
A: One - after that, the basket isn’t empty anymore.

Q: How many hairs are in an Easter Bunny’s tail?
A: None - they’re all on the outside.

Q: What college did the Easter Bunny graduate from?
A: John HOPkins.

Q: What comes at the end of Easter?
A: The letter “R”.

Q: What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
A: Join the Hare Force.

Q: What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
A: Cheer up!

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: “It’s been nice knawing you.”

Q: What do you call a short, bossy French rabbit?
A: Napoleon Bunny-parte.

Q: What do you call an Easter Bunny with a large brain?
A: Egghead.

Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny.

Q: What do you call a rabbit that’s won the lottery?
A: A millionhare.

Q: What do you call a standup comedian rabbit?
A: A Funny Bunny.

Q: What do you call an Easter Bunny on a farm?
A: Dinner.

Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.

Q: What do you get from petting rabbits with sharp teeth?
A: Harecuts.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
A: A bunion.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Easter Bunny with a Scottish bun?
A: A BonnyBonnyBun.

Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare.

Q. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. A hot cross bunny.

Q. What do you use to groom a rabbit?
A. A hare brush.

Q: What does a bunny use when it goes swimming?
A: A hare-net.

Q: What does an Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
A: Two points, just like all the other basketball players.

Q: What does an Easter Bunny order at a Chinese restaurant?
A: Hop Suey.

Q: What does an Easter Bunny use to keep its ears pirky?
A: Hare Spray.

Q: What does the Easter Bunny call his exercise program?
A: Hare-robics.

Q: What’s a good way to catch an Easter Bunny?
A: Make noises like a carrot.

Q: What’s a rabbit’s favourite accessory to wear?
A: 24 carrot gold jewelry.

Q: What’s a rabbit’s favourite dance?
A: The Bunny Hop.

Q. What’s big and purple and hugs Easter baskets?
A. The Easter Barney.

Q. What is Super Chicken’s real identity?
A. Cluck Kent.

Q. What’s yellow, has long ears, and grows on trees?
A. The Easter Bunana.

Q. What happened when the Easter Bunny stuck his head in the fan?
A. It took EARS off its life.

Q. What kind of story does the Easter Bunny like to hear?
A. A Cotton Tale.

Q. When does Valentine’s Day come after Easter?
A. In the dictionary.

Q. Where does an Easter Bunny go when it dies?
A. To the Hare-after.

Q. Where does the Easter Bunny get its eggs?
A. From eggplants.

Q. Where does the Easter Bunny go to get a new tail?
A. To a re-tail store.

Q. Which religious person are chickens afraid of the most?
A. Friars.

Q. Which side of a Easter Bunny has the most fur?
A. The outside.

Q: Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?
A: Rabbit De Niro.

Q: Why are bunnies good at Math?
A: They multiply fast.

Q: Why did a rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: Because he was eggo-centric.

Q: Why did the bunny go to the dance?
A: To do the bunny hop.

Q: Why did the chocolate egg hide from the sun?
A: Not to melt.

Q: Why did the Easter Egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken.

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: If it had four doors, it would be a Sedan.

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
A: Because his powder puff is on the wrong end.

Q: Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
A: Because it has four rabbits’ feet.

Q: Why is it easy for baby chicks to talk?
A: Because talking is Cheep.

Q. Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
A. It might crack up.

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One of the variations of this classic:

After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him.

He saw his wonderful mother Mary. He saw gods children. He saw Jerusalem in all its glory.

But his eyes finally fell on his good friend and disciple Peter.

"Peteeer", he called through painful breaths, "Peeteerr".

Peter, the must loyal of all Jesus's follows, jumped in shock. He began to run toward Jesus.

"Yes my lord?", Peter replied.

But as soon as he began to get close the Romans roared "NO!", and viciously chopped off poor Peters Legs.

Peter, wallowing in pain, heard his messiah call him again, "Peeetteeer...peeter", growing more faint with each call.

So once again Peter tried, crawling with his arms...pulling as hard as he could.

Suddenly, more sharp Roman swords fell upon him. They took his arms this time, leaving him limbless. But as he lay there, face down in the mud, Peter heard the Son of God once more, "Peeteer".

So Peter rolled this time with all his might, reaching the bottom of the cross. "Yes my lord, Yes, Yes", he screamed with anticipation, "how can I serve you?"

And in his fading breaths, whimpering and quiet, Jesus replied

"Peeter...Peter...I..I can see your house from here!".

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