For Randomguy: 12 reasons why.

[MoseySusan]

It’s okay to be single. 😉
I found this poster in a gift shop while getting my kicks on old Route 66. Maybe there’s some wisdom here (buried beneath the misogyny). 

[Wilbur ★]

That is just page 12 of the "Everything is better than women" book.    Women aren't even supposed to know about "The Book".  

[MoseySusan]

Just now, Wilbur said:

That is just page 12 of the "Everything is better than women" book.    Women aren't even supposed to know about "The Book".  

Ooo… I suppose I should feel somehow that you’ve let the secret be known. #blessed 

[Randomguy]

36 minutes ago, MoseySusan said:

It’s okay to be single.

Yeah, there are benefits.  Certain things are cleaner, I am eating and drinking less.  There is room in the fridge.  I don't have to listen to loud crunchy chewing all the time, and no one is talking through their food to me.  I don't have to go through a bunch of possibilities before watching a movie or a show.  The covers actually stay on the bed all night, so making the bed in a casual manner is just a flip of the comforter and blankets.  I can make whatever food I want for dinner.  No one is picking a fight or is asking if I am mad about something, even though if I was I would've said something each time.

There are drawbacks, too.   I am lonely, plus I am bored off my ass.  I miss the good things.  It is strange being an isolate again, and I have to invent reasons to go out of the house and interact with people.  I don't get dinner made for me half the time.  I used to have sex, but to be fair, there was much more of that the first couple of years.  Financially, she was paying half the rent, and more than half the food, so now I am even more screwed, too.  Finances are no reason to stay with someone, though, that is for other people.

Anyway, it is just an adjustment everybody has to get used to, all relationships that end have similar symptoms.   I am sure she has a similar number of the good and the bad of things, similar depth of feelings and such.  

So it goes.

[MoseySusan]

5 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I have to invent reasons to go out of the house and interact with people.  I don't get dinner made for me half the time.

Take out food solves for both of these. I’ve been craving vegetables lately, so I’m trying to convince mr that we should get take out from the Indian food restaurant we went to on my birthday or from the Ayurvedic restaurant that makes all kinds of flavorful vegetable dishes. If it were me alone, I’d make it happen without second thought. 

[Randomguy]

2 minutes ago, MoseySusan said:

Take out food solves for both of these. I’ve been craving vegetables lately, so I’m trying to convince mr that we should get take out from the Indian food restaurant we went to on my birthday or from the Ayurvedic restaurant that makes all kinds of flavorful vegetable dishes. If it were me alone, I’d make it happen without second thought. 

Indian food is good food, I like that there are veggies and odd layered spices in most dishes!  You can't go takeout every night, although I don't feel much like cooking at all.

[shootingstar]

Yea sure. Single life is just so sh*tty.  Right, @Randomguy  .  1  dunno...I'm trying to schedule better, to space out intervals of dead time between seeing good friends:

• Just got an invitation to stay at Chicago blogger's home for 2-3 nights.  Good heavens, how generous.  After yesterday, I asked for and got some Chicago hotel recommendations from blogger 2.  Bloggers 1 & 2 know each other..which is good.
• Later this wk.:  Will be seeing a good friend tomorrow or later. It depends on her leg healing and how far she wants to walk in different direction, amongst snow ice and slush.  Doing stuff almost weekly before she returns to her Toronto home next month.
• Next wk: Another good friend in smaller town is itchin' to get out of her independent assisted living condo bldg. and probably be with someone not in her age group 80-90's.  I think she wants to expand beyond, nice, but fairly conservative group of residents.  Will see her early next wk.
• Am waiting to hear from eldest niece re my idea to support promoting her novels.  She probably won't respond for another 1-2 months. Oh well.

Longest known local friend here:  I plan to suggest we meet up  well after Easter.  

Then there's a former work colleague who just emailed me.  We'll probably go cycling together in 3 wks. when snow fully melts off.  I'm interested hearing more about her Spain trip. I'm sure we'll talk about local politics...  we did after all, work for the municipality.

 

I also believe in general and based purely observation, which needs scientific testing:    women form and keep their friendships a bit differently, which makes some of their in-person friendships last longer, than many guys.  This might account for natural longevity of women, as living longer than men by 2-3 yrs.

[Randomguy]

17 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

I also believe in general and based purely observation, which needs scientific testing:    women form and keep their friendships a bit differently, which makes some of their in-person friendships last longer, than many guys.  This might account for natural longevity of women, as living longer than men by 2-3 yrs.

I think chicks are harder to pigeonhole on the friend thing.  My experience is that guys tend to have the same friends for life, but have fewer overall friends to hang out with.  Chicks sometimes have difficulty being friends with other chicks for long periods (not talking about Aunt Flo, jsharrt!), and sometimes don't get along with other women at all.

[MoseySusan]

42 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

You can't go takeout every night, although I don't feel much like cooking at all.

I could go take out for complex foods, but cook the simply prepared ones until I get back my energy for complexity. Last night I roasted cauliflower and made a frozen pizza. No energy for anything requiring more than two steps. Tonight it’s steamed broccoli and carrots with a rotisserie chicken. 

[shootingstar]

1 hour ago, Randomguy said:

I think chicks are harder to pigeonhole on the friend thing.  My experience is that guys tend to have the same friends for life, but have fewer overall friends to hang out with.  Chicks sometimes have difficulty being friends with other chicks for long periods (not talking about Aunt Flo, jsharrt!), and sometimes don't get along with other women at all.

 

I'm polite....and usually it's not hard to figure out vibe of other woman, based on gut feel, after 1-3 interactions.  Reality is my friends do tend to fall within similar, but broad spectrum even though with some very different lifestyles. For sure, some diverse age ranges.

 Spending friendship time for me in terms of a "long" time is several hours together mininum or even longer with a good friend. That has been the norm for me in past few decades. Much of it is talking, not just wordlessly doing stuff for several hrs.

I'm not at all, 1-2 hr. friend person, when I do stuff each time, with a good friend.  Time spent is 98% with each friend, longer than that.

  So I respectfully disagree... am very blessed with multiple friendships 50 yrs. long to 13 yrs. long. Several friends where I've vacationed with each for several days. I expect such friendships.....for life, with some, since teen or university days.  Do understand this is sustaining friendships and making efforts to visit each other, in different locations across Canada.  And visiting each other several times. Most of my friends aren't into facetiming or frequent lengthy phone calls. (Obviously different for other folks here.)

Life for all us, is full of interesting details and complications that's too much to convey  online.