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The origins of "painful rectal itch"


Randomguy
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One of the few funny SNL skits was Taxicab confessions, where after the passengers are warned that this is going to be on tv, they still say all kinds of personal things, like talking about their anal warts. :D

 

Damn!  1994. :(  I liked Tim Meadows.  I admired his longevity and his joking aboot it.  Was he on that recent special?  I didn't notice him.

 

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94ntaxicab.phtml

Edited by The Inedible Bulk
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This turns out to be more difficult to put my finger on than I thought.

​When I was in college, a buddy of mine (a roommate) and I would drink and then call any 1-800 number that we could find and have things sent to a friend anonymously that just hated getting stuff in the mail, phone calls, etc.  That was a hoot, but if promised something useful for free, we would save those offers and keep them ourselves.

One such offer was for a free rubber stamp (self-inking) with a limited number of characters, this offer came in a Sunday paper if you can remember those.  I chose to get mine so that it read "Smoking causes painful rectal itch", and I subsequently stamped that on anything I had to mail as a return address, and I also stamped it into textbooks I sold back and pretty much all kinds of fun stuff.  I loved that thing, and was super-bummed when the ink ran dry.

One of the few funny SNL skits was Taxicab confessions, where after the passengers are warned that this is going to be on tv, they still say all kinds of personal things, like talking about their painful genital warts. :D

​So there I was, thinking that I had originated the phrase in 1986 or so, but I am now not convinced that was the case.  It turns out that SNL had the phrase inserted into a much earlier skit than the one mentioned, you can find it here:  http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75qjam.phtml

75qjam1.jpg

75qjam2.jpg

Jane Curtin: . . . And so, with a name like Fluckers, it’s got to be good 

Chevy Chase: Hey, hold on a second, I have a jam here called Nose Hair. Now with a name like Nose Hair, you can imagine how good it must be. MMM MMM!! 

Dan Aykroyd: Hold it a minute folks, but are you familiar with a jam called Death Camp? That’s Death Camp! Just look for the barbed wire on the label. With a name like Death Camp it must be so good it’s incredible! Just amazingly good jam! 

John Belushi: Wait a minute . . . Dog Vomit, Monkey Pus. We offer you a choice of two of the most repulsive brand names of jams you’ve ever heard of. With names like these, this stuff has got to be terrific. We’re talking fabulous jam here! 

Chevy Chase: Save your breath fella! Here’s a new jam we’ve just put out. It’s called Painful Rectal Itch. You’d have to go a long way to find a worse name for a jam. And good? MMM WAH! With a name like Painful Rectal Itch you gotta bet that it’s great . . . 

Dan Aykroyd: Mangled Baby Ducks. That’s right, Mangled Baby Ducks! Picture a jam so good that you’d dare to call it Mangled Baby Ducks! Great Jam! It’s beautiful jam! 

John Belushi: Wait a minute, wait a minute, this is it - 10,000 Nuns and Orphans. 

Jane Curtin: 10,000 Nuns and Orphans? What’s so bad about that? 

John Belushi: They were all eaten by rats! Oh, it’s so good! MMM! 

Garrett Morris: Hold it, hold it everyone, your attention please, I have here a jam called, Oh God, [mumbles] Ick! Yecch! 

Dan Aykroyd: It’s so good it’s sick making! 

Chevy Chase: Oh, that’s gotta be great jam! 

Jane Curtin: So if it’s great jam you’re after, try this one, the brand so disgusting you can’t say it on television. Ask for it by name! 

 

Edited by Randomguy™
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  • 6 years later...
On 3/5/2015 at 9:26 AM, Randomguy said:

When I was in college, a buddy of mine (a roommate) and I would drink and then call any 1-800 number that we could find and have things sent to a friend anonymously that just hated getting stuff in the mail, phone calls, etc.  That was a hoot, but if promised something useful for free, we would save those offers and keep them ourselves.

One such offer was for a free rubber stamp (self-inking) with a limited number of characters, this offer came in a Sunday paper if you can remember those.  I chose to get mine so that it read "Smoking causes painful rectal itch", and I subsequently stamped that on anything I had to mail as a return address, and I also stamped it into textbooks I sold back and pretty much all kinds of fun stuff.  I loved that thing, and was super-bummed when the ink ran dry.

Aire knows this already, she is just playing.  This bump is for anyone who doesn't know where PRI came from originally, and how it got to be so funny to me that I had to share it with you all..

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