A thread to our leader

[Dottleshead ★]

I am sure most of us are aware that our friend SW has had some complications with his immediate family and he has expressed his pain and sorrow. In the flippant world of online posting, it's easy to joke or minimize that pain. Yet I feel it is sincere so I offer this thread as encouragement and help for him as there is still time to mend those fences. So please help him with support, encouragement and ideas on how to improve his lost relationships with his offspring. I think we all appreciate him for providing this SWC site, so maybe we can give back to him by helping him through his painful family relationships.

 

[Wilbur ★]

Go ahead.  I'm listening..

[Indy]

Okay?  Obviously I missed something, not that, that is anything new.

 

According to my wife, I have the emotional range of a rock, so best I can do is poor attempts at humor to lighten ones modes ever so briefly.

[Kirby]

I wouldn't try to suggest what he should do for his personal life, but I'm happy to take this space to tell him that I appreciate the kindness, welcomeing spirit and friendship he shares with us here. 

[jsharr ★]

All any of us can do is leave the door open for reconciliation.  Try to keep short accounts.  Readily offer forgiveness.  After that, the ball is in the other persons court as it were.      

In the 12 step world, this is known as making amends.    Just going through the process of making an inventory of those that you feel you need to make amends with and why can be cathartic.

[Dottleshead ★]

My only advice is to be open, continue to reach out them and try, and let them steer it. 

[Randomguy]

I would say that people seldom feel grateful as they are ultimately going to when they get older.  It takes time to appreciate sometimes, and it is often there even though people aren't expressing it always.  I bet his ex has her moments when she thinks fondly of him, and the offspring smile when the odd memory or two strike.  

Not every moment is a hallmark orgy of advanced emotional projection, though, the best strategy for everyone would be to tamp down expectations of what others should do on cue.  Fuck holidays like father's day and Thanksgiving and such, that isn't when appreciation hits, it is more like two or three in the morning when you wake up to poop, and it isn't like you can call right then.

I think he should be doing exactly what he is doing, which is dogstyling Mrs.  Wheels at every opportunity and buying things that he appreciates, like fine German cars and eating oddly meat-free items if that is his thing, despite how fun it is to poke at that a bit.