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Dept. head vs. someone's mother in national news


shootingstar
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A well-known former national tv broadcaster-journalist just had her tribute on her mother, published this weekend for Mother's Day.  https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-wendy-mesley-mothers-day/

I knew her mother because she was  dept. head for physiotherapy at a Toronto rehabiltation hospital where I worked for 3 yrs. It was the first job where I participated in dept. head meetings, learned especially how /what managers talked about. I was 27 yrs. old.

Her mother always had gracious confidence, but one always sensed a steeliness. She ran a dept. of 15 physiotherapists since our hospital specialized in care for  spinal cord injured adults (85 bed hospital).  We knew of her pride for her then famous daughter on national tv news.

Article covered difficulty of divorced single mother raising child, working, etc. and also getting a university degree (in physiotherapy which is the qualification standard in Canada, as a regulated profession).

But it was the final paragraph that struck me  --her mother had dementia in the end. She was 89 when she died last yr.  

It's hard for me to imagine this tough woman having dementia. :mellow:

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I have commented on this before..Just within aging  I have watched people with important well established careers...slowly question or worry about everyday stuff they previously would respond to in a blink of an eye. Not sure if dementia or Alzheimer's plays a roll...but I have seen a number of folks change in this way. There are some who stay on top to the end :dontknow:

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1 hour ago, petitepedal said:

I have commented on this before..Just within aging  I have watched people with important well established careers...slowly question or worry about everyday stuff they previously would respond to in a blink of an eye. Not sure if dementia or Alzheimer's plays a roll...but I have seen a number of folks change in this way. There are some who stay on top to the end :dontknow:

I truly hope I am a topper. It must be so frustrating 

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1 hour ago, petitepedal said:

It is both worrying and frustrating...I worry how I will age :dontknow: especially since I am on my own...

I do too.

My siblings ask me: "When are you moving back to  Toronto?" My response:  "How can I? Real estate is so expensive now." If my mother's house wasn't a 3 level semi and real estate wasn't so expensive, I might have considered buying it.  I  know at least there are some friends locally where I am now. 

I know people say:  "Live with sibling(s), etc."  It's not the same anymore since each of us live in our own homes (some with spouses) for nearly past 40 yrs.  I think because we don't live with each other, most likely we all get along well fine and trust each other at this time. Meaning even  trusting in terms of financial stuff without worrying a sibling is going to take off with money unknowingly. I  value the strength of this trust amongst us.

One of my closest friends, looked after her widowed mom for final 3-4 yrs., who I did meet several times in happier times, before she fell into dementia. 

Dearie's mom  deteroriated into dementia in the final 1.5 yrs. of life, before she died @93 yrs. in a nursing home connected directly to an acute care hospital.  In final yr., she didn't recognize her son. Only dearie could understand her German, because by then, she reverted  back to solely German and dropped use of English.

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7 hours ago, shootingstar said:

But it was the final paragraph that struck me  --her mother had dementia in the end. She was 89 when she died last yr.  

It's hard for me to imagine this tough woman having dementia. :mellow:

My maternal grandparents are now 97 and 95.

5 years ago, my grandmother's journey with dementia began (slowly). My grandfather was still as sharp as a tack.

Several years back, my grandfather fell and hurt his back. His body spent so much energy on the healing process, I think it robbed from Peter to pay Paul. That's when his began. And then I didn't get to see them for a year and a half due to Covid lockdowns.

I went last year, and had a great visit with them across town. They didn't remember it three days later.

This year I went with my girlfriend so she could meet them. I doubt they remembered her a few hours later, and me, probably not more than half a day. My grandfather kept asking her the same introductory questions.  I'm the oldest grandchild; as such, they have the greatest long-term memory of me and the couple others of my generation, but the short-term is gone.

I'm glad they're not prone to anger like some have become over this time, or melancholy, or afraid as this change has happened. But I miss who they were. I especially have trouble believing it in my grandfather, who I always saw as an indomitable spirit. I hope someday we'll find a way to not let that spirit be stolen by age.

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12 minutes ago, LoneWolf said:

My maternal grandparents are now 97 and 95.......................................

I'm glad they're not prone to anger like some have become over this time, or melancholy, or afraid as this change has happened. But I miss who they were. I especially have trouble believing it in my grandfather, who I always saw as an indomitable spirit. I hope someday we'll find a way to not let that spirit be stolen by age.

One of my BILs, lost his father @92 yrs. just 3 months ago. He did have Alzheimer's though probably acquired only in past 4-5 yrs.

He was veternarian  (which included working  at Toronto International airport for the animals coming in), and then later had a happy retirement.  We knew he was singing in a choir and barbershop quartet ...which visited nursing homes in Metro Toronto annually around Christmas, just 4 years ago. 

My mother is still ok, brain-wise (not mobility) and insisted to my siblings she wanted an electric stove, not a convection stove with glass top burners. She wanted for her own safety, to see the burning electrical stovetop elements. So she got that replaced to her satisfaction.

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