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Has Ralph lost his edge?


donkpow
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I remember Ralph in his younger days. He would walk into the arena and the crowd would go silent. Stepping into the ring, the young women and teenage girls would push against the crowd control barriers in anticipation. He would stand in the center of the ring and survey the crowd with his steely gaze. Most men, those in the know, would avert their eyes. Then, in an explosive gesture he would raise his fists to the heavens and shed his custom knitted shawl. The crowd would go wild, teenage girls would scream (those that didn't faint), and the security staff would rush to the arena floor and link arms around the ring in a protective maneuver. Ralph would then skip around the ring to his signature tune, Pat Boone's "Smoke on the Water". The crowd would sing along, victory assured. Mist generators would go into high, indicating that a classic battle was about to occur atop Mount Olympus. Yep, that was Ralph, as I knew him.

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3 hours ago, pedalphile said:

ralph had an edge? who knew?

Oh yeah, for sure. I saw him fight. Vegas, in the mid eighties. Tickets were really expensive and difficult to get. Fortunately, one of the sex clubs I belonged to got a group rate on some tickets. I remember the night like it wasjust this morning. The place was packed and I had a seat three rows back in the mezzanine. There was a dispute on exactly how long the fight lasted. Some say it was 1:33, others say 1:35. Anyway, the bell rings and Mark "The Mutt" Larson starts running around the ring. Trying to get away from Ralph, see. Well after about a minute or so, Ralph gets him trapped in corner. The Mutt covers up as Ralph looks for an opening. I had seen Ralph pound a man's forearms until the bones were dust in this type of situation but not this time. This time he was biding his time looking for the quick knockout. So there they were, in the corner, as Ralph leans to and fro waiting for his opening. The Mutt was hiding for his life. Ralph stopped dead still and the crowd reacted in the same way. As silence overtook the stadium, you could hear Ralph making little kissing sounds. Then The Mutt made the mistake of his life. He dropped his left to peek from behind his gloves and Ralph hit him with a right cross so massive that fecal matter was spread over half the arena. They say that the thunder from that right cross echoes through the mountains to this day.

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16 minutes ago, donkpow said:

Oh yeah, for sure. I saw him fight. Vegas, in the mid eighties. Tickets were really expensive and difficult to get. Fortunately, one of the sex clubs I belonged to got a group rate on some tickets. I remember the night like it wasjust this morning. The place was packed and I had a seat three rows back in the mezzanine. There was a dispute on exactly how long the fight lasted. Some say it was 1:33, others say 1:35. Anyway, the bell rings and Mark "The Mutt" Larson starts running around the ring. Trying to get away from Ralph, see. Well after about a minute or so, Ralph gets him trapped in corner. The Mutt covers up as Ralph looks for an opening. I had seen Ralph pound a man's forearms until the bones were dust in this type of situation but not this time. This time he was biding his time looking for the quick knockout. So there they were, in the corner, as Ralph leans to and fro waiting for his opening. The Mutt was hiding for his life. Ralph stopped dead still and the crowd reacted in the same way. As silence overtook the stadium, you could hear Ralph making little kissing sounds. Then The Mutt made the mistake of his life. He dropped his left to peek from behind his gloves and Ralph hit him with a right cross so massive that fecal matter was spread over half the arena. They say that the thunder from that right cross echoes through the mountains to this day.

At any point did a younger Trump jump in the ring, grab the microphone, and have his henchman whack Ralph with a folding chair?

If not, I don't believe you are telling the whole truth.

Tom

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