Popular Post Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Popular Post Share #1 Posted November 8, 2020 Feel free to add any, especially from you past or present shop employees. I'll start. An adolescent boy picks up a single serve container of chamois cream and asked me "What does this taste like?" 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Randomguy Posted November 8, 2020 Popular Post Share #2 Posted November 8, 2020 One time, a customer asked me if clearly marked waterproof panniers were really waterproof. I said “Yes, they are waterproof to thirty meters”. It was great watching the mental gymnastics that followed. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ChrisL Posted November 8, 2020 Popular Post Share #3 Posted November 8, 2020 I was a shop boy as a teen breaking down boxes and doing dirty work in a local shop to pay off the deep discounts the owner gave us. It was really cool how he knew which kids were passionate about cycling & how he helped fuel our passion. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rattlecan ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Popular Post Share #4 Posted November 8, 2020 When I owned my bike shop I had two young employees and an elderly gentleman that worked for me part time. One day, when the youngest fellow, I think he was 16 at the time had gone next door to get lunch, the rest of us pranked him by taking the left crank off his bike and flipping it 180 degrees so both pedals were at the bottom. He walked by his bike many times that afternoon, but didn't notice until he hopped on to ride home. He was a really good sport about it because he knew we all loved him. We laughed about it for days. 1 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Share #5 Posted November 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Dirtyhip said: Feel free to add any, especially from you past or present shop employees. I'll start. An adolescent boy picks up a single serve container of chamois cream and asked me "What does this taste like?" Without missing a beat I would’ve replied, “ass, it tastes like ass.” Unless his mother was there. Mothers don’t have that sense of humorous. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #6 Posted November 8, 2020 3 minutes ago, Old No. 7 said: Without missing a beat I would’ve replied, “ass, it tastes like ass.” Unless his mother was there. Mothers don’t have that sense of humorous. He was standing next to his Father, and he was a kid. I was very polite and just said "I don't think that is what you think it it. " I know it looks like a gel, but it is actually a creme that you use on your skin to prevent chafing from your bike seat." His Dad was quietly laughing. The kid was still confused, and then his Dad whispered something in his ear and you could tell the kid was very embarrassed. Then I went from around the shop counter and took him over to the gels, and handed him one and said "This one tastes like chocolate." I am not sure my gesture made him any less embarrassed. I wanted to say "I have never tried it, cause I am not that kinky." or "Before or after application?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #7 Posted November 8, 2020 Another thing we had fun with was the word "standard." Some customers ask for a standard BB, standard tire, or a standard chain. One particular customer got semi irate on the phone, when he called saying he needed a standard part. Can't remember what part he needed, but over the phone after many questions, the only thing that I could get out of him is that the bike was black and it was a certain brand. I finally just told him that he needed to bring the bike to us, so I could look and get what he needed. He was not happy to bring the bike in, cause he had a car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Share #8 Posted November 8, 2020 58 minutes ago, Old No. 7 said: Without missing a beat I would’ve replied, “ass, it tastes like ass.” Unless his mother was there. Mothers don’t have that sense of humorous. Butt errrr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted November 8, 2020 Share #9 Posted November 8, 2020 Too bad we cant resurrect some of VB’s epic bike shop rants. Some of them were pretty awesome. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Share #10 Posted November 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Dirtyhip said: Another thing we had fun with was the word "standard." Some customers ask for a standard BB, standard tire, or a standard chain. One particular customer got semi irate on the phone, when he called saying he needed a standard part. Can't remember what part he needed, but over the phone after many questions, the only thing that I could get out of him is that the bike was black and it was a certain brand. I finally just told him that he needed to bring the bike to us, so I could look and get what he needed. He was not happy to bring the bike in, cause he had a car. I hate those people; they are everywhere. I can’t tell you what part is correct without seeing the bike. It’s a Trek! What more do you need to know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Share #11 Posted November 8, 2020 We had an entitled teenager come in with his mountain bike for a repair. He came straight from whatever swamp he was riding in. The bike was covered in wet and dry mud. The shop manager told him to bring it back after he washed it. The kid popped a fuse. Apparently no one ever told him no before. Paul told him tough shit, I’m not cleaning up after you. You’re paying for a repair; you don’t like it go somewhere else. Bike came back later that day, all clean. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #12 Posted November 8, 2020 8 minutes ago, Old No. 7 said: I hate those people; they are everywhere. I can’t tell you what part is correct without seeing the bike. It’s a Trek! What more do you need to know? IT'S A STANDARD TIRE. WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO TELL YOU?!!!! or I don't know what kind of derailleur hanger it is. It's the one that works on a Specialized bike. Both comments to a shop employee: I would take them over to this giant poster we had with all kinds of hangers. I think sometimes it just made them more angry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #13 Posted November 8, 2020 5 minutes ago, Old No. 7 said: We had an entitled teenager come in with his mountain bike for a repair. He came straight from whatever swamp he was riding in. The bike was covered in wet and dry mud. The shop manager told him to bring it back after he washed it. The kid popped a fuse. Apparently no one ever told him no before. Paul told him tough shit, I’m not cleaning up after you. You’re paying for a repair; you don’t like it go somewhere else. Bike came back later that day, all clean. Oh we would clean those, for an "excessive mud" clause. I think it was like $50 for us to take it out back and hose it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #14 Posted November 8, 2020 Miss, you don't seem to understand what I am telling you. Can I speak to a manager? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted November 8, 2020 Share #15 Posted November 8, 2020 Not about bikes but related An engineer was installing a piece of equipment, he asked me if I could get the conduit ran before the equipment arrived, so as to save time. I said sure, what size conduit, and from what power panel ? He told me " just the regular stuff" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #16 Posted November 8, 2020 Oh, I got another one: Customer: Can I use that alan wrench set? DH: We have a set of loaner tools, but I don't recommend these. The tips have been rounded by public use. <DH hands over a chain with HORRIFIC looking loaner tools attached to it.> Or, we have some tools for sale. <Points to the park display and tool section of the store.> Customer: I see wrenches on your shop wall. <customer points> DH: Those are our shop tools and we do not loan them. Customer: Why not? DH: Because they get damaged by the public. Customer: Can I talk to the manager? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted November 8, 2020 Share #17 Posted November 8, 2020 27 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said: Miss, you don't seem to understand what I am telling you. Can I speak to a manager? Uh oh. Danger danger Will Robinson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share #18 Posted November 8, 2020 2 minutes ago, maddmaxx said: Uh oh. Danger danger Will Robinson. I so wished I could walk in the back and put a cap on that reads "Manager" and walk right back out It would be like a MP skit. Oh, and a note about us being so religious about our tools, if it was a kid, I would just do some tool turns myself and send them on their way. Or if they were known to us as being an avid cyclist that we knew could turn a wrench. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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