Companies EAP is great

[goldendesign]

Employee Assistance Program

It is a separate entity (third party) that is HIPA compliant and completely anonymous. Through them I have secured an update to my living will & trust with the attorney that wrote it originally, scheduled 12 sessions with a family grief counselor for myself and wife (mostly to help her), and a financial planner to help plan for the end and hopefully make sure the wife and child are secure when I go.

I know I have time and of course there is the maybe, maybe, maybe  concept where I win and this doesn't kill me but I only have 10 years or so (max estimation by my Oncologist team) before it comes to a head. With that kind of time I can either ignore the reality or face it. I've got the easy job; I'm just gonna die, but the family has to survive and hopefully prosper after me. 10 years puts my daughter still in high school, lots of expenses and unknowns up to and after that.

Biggest questions goes to the Finance guy. We have 18 years left on the mortgage and the rate is super low, 2.2%, do we pay it off early (amount is around 160k) or let it ride as the mortgage cost is less than renting a single room apartment in the same area. I'd also like to set up some passive income like rental properties or something similar beyond standard investments. Hopefully the person is well rounded enough to figure it out. 

All of this was provided free by my companies resources and  they don't know the why/who so it makes it easy to take advantage of it.

[jsharr ★]

Hate that you are in this situation but love the way you are dealing with it.  A ten year runway sounds like a lot of time but cherish each and every moment.  

 

[JerrySTL ★]

I think that it's great that you are planning so far ahead.

As far as the mortgage goes with all the government spending, I have a feeling that rampant inflation may happen in the not too distant future. I'd think waiting to pay it off as long as possible is the best bet unless it's a variable rate mortgage. If inflation does happen, then traditional investments like 401s, CDs, etc., often lag behind. Something tangible, like rental properties, might be a good choice if you don't mind the hassles of renters and things like eviction laws. Of course something you may know about, precious metals, might be a hedge.

[Airehead]

I am so glad you have this support.

[Kirby]

I am sorry you have to think about this, but addressing these topics is such a loving thing to do for your family. I recall my Dad wrote a letter that he updated every so often, and gave copies to each of the children, that not only had necessary financial information but practical things like where relevant documents were filed, the names and phone numbers of companies that did work around the house (such as who delivered the heating oil and how often they typically came).    We referred to that letter a lot , and it was such a tangible sign of his taking care of us once again.  But I hope your family doesn't need any of this for a very  long time.

[groupw]

EAP can be a wonderful thing. The counseling office in ours was founded by a good friend. While she has stepped away to semi-retire, she said she would don the hat if I ever needed to talk. 

I'm sorry about your prognosis, but I'm glad you are making plans. Getting some of that information from my dad, even when he knew his time was coming was difficult. But I also know I need to be doing the same thing myself. Not that I have anything medically concerning, but things can happen suddenly. My FIL was only a year older than I am now when he passed suddenly from congestive heart failure brought on by a bought of the flu. We were still discovering hidden policies a year after he passed. 

I think I need to do what @Kirby's dad did. With passwords on accounts, etc, WoW and my kids wouldn't know where to start....

[Razors Edge ★]

6 hours ago, goldendesign said:

Through them I have secured an update to my living will & trust with the attorney that wrote it originally, scheduled 12 sessions with a family grief counselor for myself and wife (mostly to help her), and a financial planner to help plan for the end and hopefully make sure the wife and child are secure when I go.

It's tough to hear someone young having to think this way, but it is also a great example for the rest of us here.  Pure and simple, what you are doing is the work that all adults - especially ones with children - should be doing ASAP.  No one knows when tragedy will strike, and we all hope our loved ones are spared any additional pain and distress if something does happen to us, so having a well thought out plan - from trusts, to wills, to password & account management, and even burial plans/wishes - is very important.

My wife and I are going through the process of unwinding my FiL's estate - homes, accounts, financial stuff, belongings, memorial service, etc. - and even though he did a good job planning, he also didn't do a perfect job (and sometimes a contradictory job).  It is a LOT of work for my wife and involves many moving pieces that would be a full time job for many folks and one which she luckily has the time for right now.  If it was dumped on someone who didn't have the time and resources, it would be very challenging - likely requiring expensive outside assistance to get it done.

It's great to hear you are on top of it and also getting help with sorting it all out.  Remember to revisit it regularly (annually at least) to reassess how it stands and make the updates that are required.  We all know passwords alone need to be regularly checked to make sure they are current, and financial stuff usually evolves over a decade as well.  Hopefully you get peace of mind from doing this that allows you to enjoy whatever time (many years hopefully) that you have left.

[goldendesign]

6 hours ago, Kirby said:

but addressing these topics is such a loving thing to do for your family. I

Well I still stand outside at night sometimes throwing rocks at the moon and cursing the damn giant space egg.

 

I'm not sure that makes my case. But it occasionally makes me feel better