Square Wheels Posted December 6, 2014 Share #151 Posted December 6, 2014 No shit! My life sucks big time compared to yours. See, this is where people just can't relate at times. It seems to someone like me that you've got everything in life and you should be happy as hell. I guess this is why there are professionals to help people with depression and such. I hope you are seeking the right help when it is needed. I gave on on "professionals" about 8 years ago. It didn't help at all. As far as comparing one persons life to another, that can't realistically be done. Also, if I tip over on my bike and bang up my knee, it still hurts. Did it hurt as much as what you and BoSox went through this year? Of course not, but it still hurt me regardless of what you went through. I think depression is partly inherited, partly nurture and partly crap luck. My parents are not positive people, they are good people, but not positive. So growing up I had nothing to help me. Then there is the possibility that I have a chemical imbalance. For instance, why do some people seem naturally happy? I honestly can't understand that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share #152 Posted December 6, 2014 Then find your spirit within. Find your jewel and spend the rest of your life shining that pup up. Anything or anyone that draws out energy from the jewel needs to be discarded. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted December 6, 2014 Share #153 Posted December 6, 2014 I think depression is partly inherited, partly nurture and partly crap luck. My parents are not positive people, they are good people, but not positive. So growing up I had nothing to help me. Then there is the possibility that I have a chemical imbalance. For instance, why do some people seem naturally happy? I honestly can't understand that. Can't they figure out if it is chemical/physical and give you something to help alleviate the problem? I know nothing about depression but it seems I've heard there are drugs that people can take to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted December 7, 2014 Share #154 Posted December 7, 2014 Can't they figure out if it is chemical/physical and give you something to help alleviate the problem? I know nothing about depression but it seems I've heard there are drugs that people can take to help. I think medical science has a way to go before it becomes that easy. The brain is devilishly complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted December 7, 2014 Share #155 Posted December 7, 2014 I'd like to publicly thank SW for dedicating the Café to Sonny. I don't recall seeing any discussion or polls so I'm assuming you did this all on your own which was a wonderful gesture. Thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share #156 Posted December 7, 2014 Agreed. Sonny deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted December 7, 2014 Share #157 Posted December 7, 2014 I'd like to publicly thank SW for dedicating the Café to Sonny. I don't recall seeing any discussion or polls so I'm assuming you did this all on your own which was a wonderful gesture. Thank you. It was also suggested by Krazy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Kosciuszko Posted December 7, 2014 Share #158 Posted December 7, 2014 I gave on on "professionals" about 8 years ago. It didn't help at all. I prefer to read books about how people react successfully in times of duress, or in other words why people consider them 'great'. I read this and found it insightful on Abraham Lincoln and the topic of depression, for what it may be worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuck Posted December 8, 2014 Share #159 Posted December 8, 2014 Wow, haven't really been on the forums lately, someone did message me about this. Kinda hit me between the eyes--he's trying to do the right thing, staying fit, I wasn't, and yet I'm still here and he's not. 46 v 47, so we're of an age, makes it hard to accept. Gotta be brutal on his family, I'm sure mine can empathize. I'm feeling guilty that my recovery is going well, even. Just trying to stay positive, and gratitude keeps that going for me at least. Amazing support from family, church, work, and the support from my online friends--you guys astound me sometimes--kept me from curling up into a ball and quitting. Kinda the guilt thing, after all I've been given, how can I quit now? RIP Sonny, you'll be missed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pokey Posted December 8, 2014 Share #160 Posted December 8, 2014 Dotman17 pretty much hit the nail on the head. Anyone who is sucking the energy/life out of you must be tossed. Life is hard enough as it is, to have to deal with this type of behavior. Throw depression in and oh man. SW...yes you're so correct regarding how much your family needs you. And that's not guilt you're feeling, but the love. Pain will wax and wane....and it will always be there lurking...but it cannot trump the good things you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted December 8, 2014 Share #161 Posted December 8, 2014 Is there a "Pet Cemetery" style option to bring CL back? I really miss him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted December 9, 2014 Share #162 Posted December 9, 2014 I really miss him. Me, too. He was really a big part of this forum. Just not the same without him here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted December 9, 2014 Share #163 Posted December 9, 2014 I understand this thread must unpin. I also understand that the Cafe' will always be in his honor which is beyond a beautiful thing. I was just wondering if there was maybe 1 more small thing that we could do to honor Sonny as time marches on? I don't have any specific suggestions, I'm just wondering. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted December 9, 2014 Share #164 Posted December 9, 2014 No disrespect was meant when it was unpinned. For now I will leave the notice on the top, but at some point that will need to go too. Neither of these mean he is forgotten, how we each remember him will be personal. He touched my life in a positive way and I am trying to learn from that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted December 9, 2014 Share #165 Posted December 9, 2014 No, I completely understand the unpin. No problem there. The Cafe' will always be dedicated to Chopped_Liver though, yes? And I agree with honoring is a personal thing. My q was just along the lines of 1 more respectful gesture. Such as maybe his join date automatically celebrated? I don't know, just asking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted December 9, 2014 Share #166 Posted December 9, 2014 The forum is forever dedicated. There is also a calendar posting that will be there for at least 100 years. Sorry, but after that we will all be forgotten. '&do=embed' frameborder='0' data-embedContent>> 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingtermite Posted December 9, 2014 Share #167 Posted December 9, 2014 I was just wondering if there was maybe 1 more small thing that we could do to honor Sonny as time marches on? I don't have any specific suggestions, I'm just wondering. I was thinking something similar. The only thing that came to my mind is if one of us can get his home address (his wife and daughter's address), maybe we could organize all writing out some nice heart felt cards about what he meant to us and either coordinate to all send them at the same time or have one person we all send them to who sends them in one big bunch. Thoughts? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted December 10, 2014 Share #168 Posted December 10, 2014 You're awesome KT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingtermite Posted December 10, 2014 Share #169 Posted December 10, 2014 Well...is anyone else interested in this idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted December 10, 2014 Share #170 Posted December 10, 2014 Well...is anyone else interested in this idea? Should yhis wait a little bit so as not to cause more grief? Maybe a month or two out as a "we're still thinking of you" type gesture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingtermite Posted December 10, 2014 Share #171 Posted December 10, 2014 Not sure if that's better or worse. When I lost my mom, I think that may have been just out far enough I was finally getting it off my mind, and then *bam* big reminder. Everybody is different, though. What do others think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted December 10, 2014 Share #172 Posted December 10, 2014 Not sure if that's better or worse. When I lost my mom, I think that may have been just out far enough I was finally getting it off my mind, and then *bam* big reminder. Everybody is different, though. What do others think? True, it is a double edged sword... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Kosciuszko Posted December 11, 2014 Share #173 Posted December 11, 2014 I would suggest putting it off for a year. Then, one year from now, I'd suggest someone willing to organize the effort start a thread to collect a group donation to the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association, or some other worthy charity. Once the donation was made, send a card to the family with a short note saying we still remember CL, and that we made a donation in memory of him. It will give the family an entire year to heal as best they may. We can be assured in one year's time they too will be thinking about CL. By us making a donation and sending a letter around that time we'll be much less likely to unnecessarily re-open any grieving, and may just provide a measure of comfort when the family will be thinking of CL more often than they might otherwise. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted December 11, 2014 Share #174 Posted December 11, 2014 Best idea yet, TK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingtermite Posted December 11, 2014 Share #175 Posted December 11, 2014 I would suggest putting it off for a year. Then, one year from now, I'd suggest someone willing to organize the effort start a thread to collect a group donation to the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association, or some other worthy charity. Once the donation was made, send a card to the family with a short note saying we still remember CL, and that we made a donation in memory of him. It will give the family an entire year to heal as best they may. We can be assured in one year's time they too will be thinking about CL. By us making a donation and sending a letter around that time we'll be much less likely to unnecessarily re-open any grieving, and may just provide a measure of comfort when the family will be thinking of CL more often than they might otherwise. I like it!! I also volunteer to organize it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted December 11, 2014 Share #176 Posted December 11, 2014 Best idea yet, TK. I am always in favor of putting things off for year. D But siriusly, this will be a nice remembrance. I nominate Thaddeus Krakatoa as official "Idea Man of the Southwest Forum". (IMotSWF) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo Posted December 11, 2014 Share #177 Posted December 11, 2014 I just now read the news. I am especially sadden to hear when a fellow cyclist has passed on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share #178 Posted December 11, 2014 I keep thinking this is still a bad joke and Modo/Chopped is going to reappear any day now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pokey Posted December 12, 2014 Share #179 Posted December 12, 2014 After my Mom passed, an acquaintance of hers sent a card stating that she thought of her often. The card came about 18 mos. or so after moms passing. The card was a welcome rememberence without having the loss so fresh. TK...this is an excellent thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted November 25, 2021 Share #180 Posted November 25, 2021 On 12/8/2014 at 12:09 AM, Stuck said: Wow, haven't really been on the forums lately, someone did message me about this. Kinda hit me between the eyes--he's trying to do the right thing, staying fit, I wasn't, and yet I'm still here and he's not. 46 v 47, so we're of an age, makes it hard to accept. Gotta be brutal on his family, I'm sure mine can empathize. I'm feeling guilty that my recovery is going well, even. Just trying to stay positive, and gratitude keeps that going for me at least. Amazing support from family, church, work, and the support from my online friends--you guys astound me sometimes--kept me from curling up into a ball and quitting. Kinda the guilt thing, after all I've been given, how can I quit now? RIP Sonny, you'll be missed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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