Lunchroom follies

[Dirtyhip]

I was alone for a few moments, listening to megadeath “peace sells.” 

In walks first co-worker. A lesbian, I don’t care, but this is pertinent to the story.  She has a cute lunch and a homemade cupcake from her partner.  I smile.

I take my headphones out to be polite. We are sitting around one round table. 

In walks Mooseknuckle, he is being quite boorish as usual.  He is about to heat his Mac and bacon.

Lesbian and he are vying for the microwave. Moose says he can wait. Then an inappropriate discussion begins, spawned by moose. 

He asks her “where she gets her hair cut.” Then, he says something to the effect of “I have noticed that most lesbians wear their hair short like her and why is that?” He asks, does she go to a barber? Does she keep it short to to look more masculine? Does she go to a barber or a hair salon. Is that a struggle for her with such a masculine hair style?

Then he starts talking about his barber and the shop used to be a brothel and the culture of the early 1900s. He said, yeah the red light district was at a certain street. 

As he is talking he is eating and talking with his mouth open and smacking his food. He even had cheese hanging off his chin. 

I started to cringe and grab my things to get the hell out of there. As I left and looked back, the lady sitting there looked at me like “Help.” I caught her eye with an emphatic stare as I turned to leave the room.

Should have went for a ride and eaten salad instead of pasta and sauce needing heat sources. 

The end.

[BuffJim]

How did this make you feel?

[2Far ★]

He’s setting himself up for a harassment lawsuit. 

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

Pertinent, homemade, boorish, spawned by, vying, emphatic, and heat sources. 
These all grabbed my attention; you have a good way with the English language. Salute and well done.

[Dirtyhip]

13 hours ago, Old#7 said:

Pertinent, homemade, boorish, spawned by, vying, emphatic, and heat sources. 
These all grabbed my attention; you have a good way with the English language. Salute and well done.

Thank you. I used to like writing by typing on this old typewriter when I was a kid. My Mother told me I was a bad writer so I kinda stopped that. 

I do enjoy writing stories for all of you. Race stories, work stories, etc.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

3 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

Thank you. I used to like writing by typing on this old typewriter when I was a kid. My Mother told me I was a bad writer so I kinda stopped that. 

I do writing stories for all of you. Race stories, work stories, etc.

Just noticed you have a good vocabulary and use it well. The English language is rich. I’m sure others are too, just haven’t learned them yet.

[maddmaxx ★]

You can eat pasta and sauce cold and avoid the lunchroom.  It helps if the sauce is good and spicy.

[KrAzY]

How have you not  throat punched that guy yet?  

[BuffJim]

6 hours ago, KrAzY said:

How have you not  throat punched that guy yet?  

Company policy forbids it. 

[BR46]

15 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

Then an inappropriate discussion begins, spawned by moose

And when you finally had enough and tell them off they play the victim and don't understand why you are yelling at them. Next thing you know is your sitting in HR explaining why you yelled at them and threatened to throat punch them the next time they open their pie hole. 

I know this for a fact. 

[Prophet Zacharia]

Sooo... where does she get her hair cut?

[Dirtyhip]

1 minute ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

Sooo... where does she get her hair cut?

Local place.  A prominent hair dresser.  The only thing I could add to the conversation was that who she goes to is the best in town. 

7 hours ago, KrAzY said:

How have you not  throat punched that guy yet?  

I must have amazing patience and tolerance. Teaching Eleanor to ride takes a lot of that.

[Randomguy]

What were the answers to those very reasonable questions?

[Dirtyhip]

26 minutes ago, Nicolas Cage said:

What were the answers to those very reasonable questions?

She was a good sport about it.  

She didn't like her long blonde hair.  She said people would fawn over it and actually touched her hair before.  He went on to say "I notice you keep the top a little longer, is that so it is more feminine? Why not just go to a barber, instead of a hairdresser?"  Her reply was that she wants it to look nice, and she does care about her hair looking good."  I tried to shift the conversation.  I said I go to the Bay Area and it gets cut once a year.  Haircut and a facial.  The guy's shop I go to never remembers my name, he just yells "Hey, Oregon!" 

I did tell her that her cupcake was cute, and it looks like someone really loves her."  I think that my comment was appropriate and kind.

My exit was soon after this.  Cut my lunch short by about 15 minutes.

[MoseySusan]

Have you called him moose knuckle to his face, yet? 

I think it’s time to just make that his name of direct address. 

“Stfu, moose knuckle.” 

Like that. Every time. 

 

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, roadsue said:

Have you called him moose knuckle to his face, yet? 

I think it’s time to just make that his name of direct address. 

“Stfu, moose knuckle.” 

Like that. Every time. 

 

 I would kill him for smacking and talking through his food.  DH shows incredible restraint by not doing that.

[Dirtyhip]

22 minutes ago, Nicolas Cage said:

 I would kill him for smacking and talking through his food.  DH shows incredible restraint by not doing that.

He farted in the lunch room before.  It was loud.  I was already on my way out the door.  

I am going to start eating in the hallway.  There is a south hallway that has glorious sunlight.  It isn't far from where I can use a microwave.  These toxic conversations in there are bad for all involved.  I want no part of it.  It's safer in the public hallway.