Jump to content

Are you the "trusted one"?


groupw
 Share

Recommended Posts

Last Thursday, we were supposed to have a group run with social time after. Only the runner I was to shoot with this weekend and I showed up. We ran a few miles together then grabbed a beer at a bar at the end of the trail we were running. We chatted about several things including the cost of rent in town. My MIL had just taken possession of some rental properties she inherited from her dad. I simply mentioned I told her to keep them since the market is so strong. We then talked about our upcoming photosession over the weekend. 

Sunday came and after her nerves settled, we had a great shoot! However, that evening when I sent her the proofs, she said she was having severe anxiety about sharing them with anyone. Thought they were too daring! Wanted me to delete what she didn't approve. I told her I don't delete my RAW files. I keep them as a record since they are all sequentially numbered. Just a little protection for me (long story about why). But I assured her nothing would be released without her permission. 

Monday morning I get a message from her apologizing for the meltdown (this is normally a very even-keeled woman). She had looked at the photos after a night's rest and felt much better about everything. Then, out of the blue, she asked if any of my MIL's properties were available. She had been looking for 6 weeks without any luck. This was a bomb! It was very evident she was planning to leave her husband! I am friendly with him, but he had kind of taken to a hermit-like existence including not going on major family activities and she had enough. From the way she said it, I was one of a very small group that was made aware of her plans. 

About a month before, another running friend who I mentored to her first half marathon also confided in me that she and her husband had separated. I do IT work for the dentist office she works in. It's like a family. Very close-knit! Imagine my surprise when a couple days after she shared this with me, I go to a call at their office and it's very obvious no one there is aware of her situation! Turns out she only shared with her dentist she assists and 1 other assistant there. 

A part of me is honored that people are willing to confide in me, but a part of me resents the pressure of not letting anything slip in some pretty high stakes situations!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites



In my group of friends, I have been trusted by at least two for things that were fairly sensitive.  Such that they told me when I'm sure they didn't tell others in the circle.  Basically, I've offered what advice and help I can, told them I would pray for their situation, and told them I was around if they needed an open ear or someone to tip one back with.

That said, they haven't told me anything that put me in an awkward situation either (e.g., illegal, damaging to other friends, unethical).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I am the trusted one, but unlike you I don't feel pressured because I don't really talk to anyone and often I don't want to talk anyone.  Probably why they feel safe in confiding in me and they know I will provide honest unfiltered feedback.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, tybeegb said:

I am not comfortable knowing other's "secrets".  I can keep secrets, but I would rather be like Sgt. Shultz.  "I know nothing!."

That's kind of me, too. I used to feel left out when people would mention a friend's past issue and say something like "Oh. I thought you knew about that!" But now that I am in the trusted sphere of some people, I'm not sure I want the responibility when they share. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah with many in my family they tell me stuff that I wish I didn't know.  I always tell them, if you tell me you are telling WOChrisL as I don't keep secrets from her and they are good with that.  We aren't gossip mongers and tend to keep to ourselves which is why other's confide in us. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...